Star Jones is still grasping at fame and has it in her head that somebody is out to get her after it was falsely reported her marriage to Al Reynolds was over.
“These categorically false stories and their continuation are clearly being generated by someone for vindictive reasons alone,” the former View cohost, 44, says in a statement issued by her publicist. The statement goes on to say that the couple’s “legal representatives have been investigating the source and motivation of these boldfaced lies for some time now and are very close to exposing the individual who has perpetrated them. At which time, appropriate legal action will be taken.”
I wouldn’t be surprised if Star Jones leaked the story herself. Since leaving The View the only thing she’s got going in her life is lunch. And dinner. And the bucket of popcorn she has while driving to McDonalds.
NOTE: I don’t care how much weight she loses, Star Jones will always be the fat chick on The View that got knocked on her ass by a football.
MrsHoilman | August 3, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Uh… I HATE STAR JONES!
Adult Underoos | August 3, 2006 at 5:32 pm
star jones = the worst
amaritimer | August 3, 2006 at 5:37 pm
she really needs to get her eyebrows brought down off of her forehead.
Megz | August 3, 2006 at 5:37 pm
The football thing was funny. ;D
Megz | August 3, 2006 at 5:37 pm
The football thing was funny. ;D
fierce | August 3, 2006 at 5:37 pm
I love Star!
Megz | August 3, 2006 at 5:37 pm
double comment. >< Sorry
fierce | August 3, 2006 at 5:38 pm
BUT, OMROFL. That football video is hilario.
TOPAZ21 | August 3, 2006 at 5:40 pm
why does she always have that surprised look pasted on her face?
januaryanne | August 3, 2006 at 5:40 pm
tracy morgans impression of her is all i can think of when i see that. can’t you just see him going, “THESE ALLEGATIONS ARE CATEGORICALLY FALSE. I AM A LAWYER.”
azcoyote | August 3, 2006 at 5:42 pm
I bet if you threw a turkey that fat bitch would catch it one handed and produce some gravy out of thin air… Or well, fat air… You get the idea… She’s a pig…
Adult Underoos | August 3, 2006 at 5:42 pm
star’s head kinda looks like a football. maybe because i want to punt it?
HarryNipples | August 3, 2006 at 6:00 pm
Look Star, accept the facts here…
You hubby likes PENISES – white ones, black ones, big ones, small ones…something you ain’t got unless there’s something you’re not telling us…
Maybe you can get a job on Fear Factor filling buckets with cow’s testicles…
BarbadoSlim | August 3, 2006 at 6:01 pm
“legal representatives” = some dude down the street, his name is Lou.
“exposing the individual” = at a press conference she’ll unveil a picture of planet earth taken by the Hubbell orbiting telescope.
HarryNipples | August 3, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Why the fuck doesn’t she just go away??
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | August 3, 2006 at 6:05 pm
Star, now that you’re single, come hither my Nubian Queen and let me taste your sweet, sweet cocoa butter while we listen to some Maxwell. I know you like Maxwell, bitch.
Sidius | August 3, 2006 at 6:05 pm
That football video is hands down one of the best pieces of internet footage ever. The reason Al Gore invented it IMHO.
michelle | August 3, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Dear Star Jones.
NO ONE CARES.
Peaches2133 | August 3, 2006 at 6:07 pm
Gawd, I can’t stand this fake bitch! Everyone knows that she had her stomach stapled to lose weight and that her husband is gay. This is her pathetic attempt to get whatever publicity she can. Get over it you fat cow, with Barbra WaWa around, you’ll never work again!
Giggles | August 3, 2006 at 6:14 pm
Yes, I really don’t care if she’s married to a gay guy or not. Whatever. It’s a free country. And by the way, thou protest TOOOO much.
AmandatheWonderful | August 3, 2006 at 6:17 pm
I wish I was Star, man. I wish I looked like a fabulous Willy Wonka chocolate creation gone awry. I wish my husband was gay, so he’d quit nailing my awesome puntang all the freakin time. I wish I had some of Baba WaWa’s money to spend on some Payless BOGO action. Fuck yeah, I wish I was Star Jones.
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 3, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Star is right to strike out at the malicious slanderers. There is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying a cockfag. Look at the wonderful, lasting relationships of Halston, Calvin Klein, Tom Cruise, and Liza Minelli (who married not one, but two queers). I am sure she and Al will last as long as she doesn’t mind him keeping a dude on the down low or kissing him and tasting shitdipped dick. Though there may be some legal snafus with regards to how something that never was can end.
Joanne Viskup | August 3, 2006 at 7:01 pm
When the view first came on, my Mom used to say, “It’s such a shame that she is so fat, she has a pretty face.” Guess what Mom? No she doesn’t.
Getitstraight | August 3, 2006 at 7:01 pm
#10….Duh? Who is Tracy Morgan?
ImSuicidal | August 3, 2006 at 7:03 pm
All I see in that picture are eyeballs and teeth!
I love Baba Wawa!!!
Getitstraight | August 3, 2006 at 7:06 pm
#10 never mind, should have known he’s from SNL.
sharkbite | August 3, 2006 at 7:22 pm
I thought she died. Damn.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
ImSuicidal | August 3, 2006 at 7:24 pm
jrzmommy Please see comment 80 in the Jenna Jameson picture.
RichPort | August 3, 2006 at 7:44 pm
#9
I agree, there is a subhuman like quality in regard to the distance between her eyelids and her eyebrows. She was the fat nasty girl with clumps of earwax who ate paste in middle school. She’s still surpised any wants to take her picture. Underneath that wig she’s got more naps than a kindegarten class! That and her wife Al smokes more meat cigars than a gay Cuban. I could down a case of ExLax and still not give a shit…
mylittleporny | August 3, 2006 at 8:08 pm
“…exposing the individual who has perpetrated them.”
perpetrated or penetrated?
pixel killya | August 3, 2006 at 11:24 pm
No more Starship posts please.
I thank you.
Sheva | August 3, 2006 at 11:24 pm
In other news Faggy Al has been spotted with his homo crew on Long Island having a ball and ballin lots of dudes.
ChickenScratch | August 4, 2006 at 1:44 am
Why does she have a publicist? Is she so busy that she needs one?
I hate her, I hate her because of the wedding she had. Like she was royalty or something, makes me sick to even think about it.
Justin Igger | August 4, 2006 at 2:11 am
i would fuck the shit out this black queen. she is the best and makes more than any of you crackers. when people say they see stars i think of how great it would be to see double of this bitch and i have to drink the remy martin for that shit to happen. yo if any one can hook me up with this black goddess let me no for real though
Justin Igger | August 4, 2006 at 2:12 am
ms rainwater you funny
Zanna | August 4, 2006 at 2:29 am
Star – STOP LOOKING LIKE NICOLE RICHIE.
Zanna | August 4, 2006 at 2:30 am
Star–
Stop looking like Ncole Richie!
alaskanchicsickle | August 4, 2006 at 3:27 am
@34 Does this mean that you are gay, like big gay Al?
HolisticWisdomcom | August 4, 2006 at 4:47 am
Star may be annoying, but Barb Wha Wha has been acting very odd lately groping black co-hosts and saying weird things like is your hair real when they are filming. Not sure what went down there, but Wha Wha certainly has issues.
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
AmberDextrose | August 4, 2006 at 6:31 am
A black beard! Ahoy me hearties. Perhaps she should be keelhauled. Probably sink the ship, mind.
Ramblebrook | August 4, 2006 at 8:22 am
She made a living by talking about celebrities problems and gossiping. She’s a no talent harpie, getting fat off of people’s misery.
I’m surprised you people don’t love her.
Grobpilot | August 4, 2006 at 9:16 am
She kind of looks like a pug, don’t you think? Big, fat face and bulging eyeballs. Not even remotely attractive.
jrzmommy | August 4, 2006 at 9:23 am
40–Fucking hilarious! Black beard. I love it. Too clever.
She looks like that pile of shit that Kelly Le Brock turns the mean brother (Bill Paxton) into in “Weird Science.” Seriously, if you just put a little cigar in her hand, that’s who she’d be.
ScriptRadar | August 4, 2006 at 1:37 pm
She’s hot. Oops. I mean heinous.
DancingQueen | August 4, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Is is me or does she look like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland? Or was that the crack I just smoked?
Sister Morphine | August 4, 2006 at 4:21 pm
I love that video of her getting knocked in the face with a football. Seeing her fat ass flying is enough to make me laugh so hard I might piss myself.
She needs to get smacked in the face with a football more often.
Spindoc | August 4, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Al Reynolds, is the only human being on the face of the earth that LOVES the cock more than Tom Cruise.
PunjabPete | August 4, 2006 at 8:00 pm
#47.. No way…
Tom Cruise certainly loves the cock more than Al Reynolds… In fact, I am pretty sure Tom bangs Al on a regular basis… An Al likes it that way… So that would make him a close second…
TCLTC
alaskanchicsickle | August 4, 2006 at 11:56 pm
She is the result of a human/alien hybrid experiment gone awry.
zebop | August 5, 2006 at 1:48 am
Isn’t it about time this drag queen and her fudgepacking, pillow-biter hubby dragged their flabby asses off to the obscurity they so richly deserve.
Star Jones. Voted Most Likely to Be on Celebrity Fat-Ass Club in 2008.
I wouldn’t hit it. And neither would Al Reynolds.