Let’s Talk About This New ‘Star Wars’ Trailer…

In case you weren’t watching Monday Night Football last night, you missed the big reveal of the new Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer. This is the first full-length trailer released for episode VIII, but I couldn’t help but think it kind of gives too much away. Here’s the trailer if you haven’t seen it yet, but I have to say that if I could go back in time and skip it — I absolutely would…

For starters, I’m getting strong Empire vibes off of this. Considering that Force Awakens was basically a remake of A New Hope after it went through Xzibit’s ride pimpin’ CGI detail, I wouldn’t put it past Disney to play a safe bet and just regurgitate that story-line again with Luke Skywalker as Yoda. Is this a bad thing? Take an objective look at Force Awakens vs. Rogue One and tell me which one was a better standalone story-line…

Oh and Kylo Ren shoots Carrie Fisher right in the face. It would have been nice to not know how that space battle ended, but whatever (it still looked pretty sweet).

Some of my most memorable movie experiences — no — my most memorable movie experiences have come from walking into them with a 100% blank slate (fitting, the first time I saw Rian Johnson’s Brick immediately comes to mind). Catharsis is exponentially amplified if you’re not able to say, “oh I recognize this scene from the trailer, that guy is about to get shot… yep he got shot.” Now when that battle goes down I’m just going to be waiting on that moment. It’s almost like they’re preparing us to be ready to pay our final respects to Leia’s last scene and that’s bullshit. Life is pain, let us take it.

Ultimately, I’m fucking stoked about this movie. It’s my job to bitch about stuff so I’m reaching to find things to prod. I think Rian Johnson is a slam dunk for a darker, more intimate Star Wars movie. Time will only tell what the fuck is going on with those Porgs though…

I think that’s the only question left unanswered by this trailer is whether or not the Porgs will be annoying as fuck or just some harmless product placement to sell genetically manufactured furbies…

porg
CREDIT: Lucasfilm