Aww Shit, It’s Star Wars Day

“I know you’re Hayden Christensen under there.”
“The fuck you just say to me?!”

Like most people who’ve never touched a breast without money changing hands (I STILL LOVE YOU, PHOENIX!), today might as well as be a religious holiday for me thanks to the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, which I’ll be seeing shortly and possibly reviewing if I figure out how to express all of my cry-gasming into words. And while I probably could’ve banked more posts last night – Besides Candice Swanepoel’s anus, which I would argue entitles me to a three month sabbatical. – I also could’ve drank beer while watching all of the Star Wars Bad Lip Reading videos and then farted them into an easy post.

You’ll never believe which one I did.

NOTE: These were great. Darth Arnold is still better.

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Photo: Lucasfilm