James Cameron’s on it, everybody.

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Despite Rush Limbaugh announcing the oil spill is as perfectly natural as getting a boner with Mexican Viagra, the US government has apparently brought in Avatar director James Cameron because he directed a movie about a giant boat once. Admittedly, I was skeptical until I saw he wears leather jacks and drinks a lot which is half the battle right there. People reports:

The Canadian-born Oscar winner, 55, is an ocean-technology buff and has been an expert in underwater filming and manned submersible vehicles since his pioneering work on The Abyss in the 1980s.
The results of the meeting were not clear, but U.S. officials are said to be considering all options, including the use of manned submersibles, to cap the well. Cameron attended the meeting with Phil Nuytten, the head of Canadian undersea technology company Nuytco Research.

“It’s about looking at all the what-ifs – if this fails, if that fails, what happens,” Nuytco chief pilot Jeff Heaton told Canada’s Globe and Mail.

In all seriousness, the oil spill is a monumentally epic disaster and James Cameron does know a lot about the ocean, so there’s a good chance he might help bring this bitch to a close. Or just stare blankly then suggest we remake Dances with Wolves with blue people. At which point, there’ll be no choice but to execute Plan B: Telling Mel Gibson the oil spill is releasing Jews into the atmosphere. (I want a reward if that works.)

Thanks to The Geekologie Writer who offered to pretend the BP rig is a giant dinosaur vagina.