‘Spring Breakers’ Has A Trailer

January 17th, 2013 // 54 Comments
Spring Breakers Trailer
WATCH: 'Spring Breakers' Official Trailer

If you read the site around March of last year, you probably got bombarded in the face with shitloads of pictures of Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Benson in bikinis on the set of Spring Breakers and were richer for it. And now here’s the official trailer for the movie which finally answers the age-old question, What would it be like if Gary Oldman’s Drexl from True Romance was as a genteel southern gentleman who taught Disney chicks how to shoot machine guns in their bikinis?” It’s a veritable master thesis on the art of film.

Just in case it wasn’t clear the original title to this movie was, Fuck You, Walt Disney, You’re Not My Real Dad:

 

superficial

  1. BB

    Saw this movie at the Toronto Film Festival last September. It’s a fucking trip. Saw it completely sober and left feeling like I was on drugs. It’ll turn your world upside down…

    • Well…with such a hard hitting power lineup of actors, how could it not?

      Huh?

    • Mike

      Can’t really tell if you like it or not. But it’s a nice ringing endorsement for people who want to trip balls!

      • BB

        That’s kind of my point. I liked it in the sense that it made me trip balls and fucked my shit up. Beyond that like/dislike is almost irrelevant. Movies like this succeed on provoking a reaction and/or thought: Spring Breakers certainly does both, and quite well, in my opinion.

        Though, I really did like James Franco’s performance on its own terms. He’s hilariously creepy. Hudgens also plays a pretty messed up character. I maybe wouldn’t go so far as to describe any of the performances in this movie as ‘great acting’ in the traditional sense (except maybe Franco), but as far as going against type and subverting expectations, there should be a lot to appreciate.

        Anyway, looks as though many here have already made up their minds far in advance of even seeing the film. Whatever, I guess…

      • You do have the. . .oh hell, “benefit” of having seen it already, but certainly you can see how the rest of us might have more than a little reason for cynicism at the possibility of this making us “think” on an above lizard-brain level. But, If you’re right, and a decent writer and director are involved (with a Kubrickian level of patience), anything is possible.

  2. Amanda

    Wow. Looks really lame.

  3. anonymous

    Handcuffs in bikinis before a judge? Yeah right– this has got 2014 Oscar written all over it. No naked, no care.

    • BB

      Plenty of naked in this movie, actually.

      • Yeah? Who gets naked and how much can we see?

      • BB

        Lots of tits (can’t remember if there’s any dicks or bush, been a few months). Not going to say whose tits. To find out, go see the movie (or search for links to clips of the nudity).

      • Wait a minute. “Not going to say whose tits?” Are you getting paid to write this shit? I was giving you the benefit of the doubt above, but if you are on this site and refuse to provide the only information anyone is actually interested in hearing, something is amiss. That’s like going on ESPN’s site and knowing who won the game, and refusing to tell people the score.

      • BB

        Fair enough.

        You get to see lots of the girl with the pink hair. Lots of topless/naked extras (especially in the opening sequence; you only have to wait about 20-30 seconds at the beginning of this movie for the nudity to start). There’s a sex scene in a pool where Hudgens is naked–though you don’t get a clear-on shot of her; most of the ‘good stuff’ in this scene comes in underwater shots. No naked Selena Gomez (she plays the goody-goody of the bunch). I can’t remember about Benson. Except for a few early scenes the four main girls spend the entire movie wearing bikinis or less.

        Please down-vote this.

      • Poor soul, you really have no idea where you are, do you? Nipples are equivalent to a Phillp K. Dick-level plot twist, in this sordid little corner of the Net.. (Fish, consider a Mission Statement.) But thanks for the clarity.

      • BB

        I think I’m pretty well aware of what this site is about, but thank you for YOUR clarity, unrequested and redundant though it is. Who says a person can’t be both debased and also curious about why they’re that way, or what it means? Tell me it’s not possible. Go ahead. The movie may have proved quite intriguing to me intellectually but there may also have been a different–let’s say shallower–reason for why I went to see it in the first place. We’re all the butt of the same joke, brother, you and me and everyone here alike. I’m willing to concede that about myself. Are you?

        Keep baiting me, I want you to. It appears you think because I’m being accommodating and fairly straightforward that you’ve got one over on me…

      • I was sincere in my thanks. But you’d need to be specific about which asscheek we supposedly share on the Great Butt of Life, or whatever it is you’re insinuating, before I can agree. I really wasn’t baiting you, for what it’s worth. Though if I were I’d only be trying to draw out what you’ve already acknowledged — being impressed by “Spring Breakers” on a more than surface level. Granted, I haven’t seen it: if there are layers of self-aware subtext waiting to be uncovered, so be it. For whatever reason (read, Franco), I have my doubts. Ironically, I was still giving you the benefit of those doubts. I just don’t think it likely you will be down-voted for providing the T&A details of a T&A movie on a T&A site.

      • BB

        Apologies for any unwarranted snarky reactions on my part. There’s a lot of trolling that goes on and it can be difficult at best to resolve the ingenuous from the disingenuous (especially when also trying to ascertain what true wit many possess beneath their masquerade, or if undue credit is being given in, to use your term, the benefit of the doubt). You’re absolutely right: I am on a T&A site trying to stir meaningful discussion. Folly.

        My initial motivation was to maybe inspire intrigue about and perspective on a movie that may appear to have none. The movie’s statement is easy to overlook; by design I think. This includes Franco’s performance, which is not ostensibly one of great depth but, I think, succeeds for that very reason. His ‘Alien’ character is dumb, misguided, weak, ignorant, pathetic, and tragic: I’m pretty sure Franco knows this and plays to it. My response was laughter but also pity. And it becomes interesting (and unnerving), in the movie, the way his character’s weaknesses and susceptibilities become exploited by the very characters who at a casual glance would seem to be the more obvious subjects of this film’s exploitative style.

        As far as my joke remark: perhaps also a bad presumption on my part. But if you come to this website for any of the same pathetic reasons I do (which isn’t meant to account for all potential reasons), I would contend that yes, indeed, you are as much a part of the punchline as I.

      • Apologies accepted, and sorry if I was more snarky than I intended in turn. It’s just that this particular film turning out to possess any real depth would surprise the hell out of me, but since you seem equally as surprised, I must acknowledge the possibility.

        As far as the shared punchline goes, I’d say there is the trainwreck, the engineer, those who slow down to watch, and those watching traffic. Personally, I’m as fascinated by the traffic as the wreck.

      • BB

        Miscommunication can be a bitch, especially on the internet, o zaniest and most ironically disconnected of all communes. I would urge you to see this movie and make your final judgement upon doing so; I’m happy to be proven wrong.

        Seems we indeed share the same fascinations as pertains to trainwrecks…

      • Megan

        This was the most articulate argument/resolution/overall conversation I have ever seen on this site. I don’t know who I am anymore.

  4. Oh God, this looks so bad. This may end up being the worst movie of all time. This movie will be a true testament to whether Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens in bikinis alone is enough to get people to go see a movie because there is no other reason to go see this at all.

  5. Zambonie

    This trailer gave me eye cancer.

  6. JPC

    In case you didn’t already know this movie would be terrible, they confirm it with the horrible “music” in the trailer, and at the end, they are so proud of that “music,” they advertise “FEATURING THE MUSIC OF SKRILLEX!!!!”

    Because I know that when I listen to music, I want it to sound like the Transformers having dirty anal sex.

  7. alex

    Okay, I haven’t seen the movie yet and I didn’t even watch the trailer, however……

    I can already tell you this is an amazing film. There is a good probability that this film will dethrone Bring It On as the greatest movie of all time.

  8. Wow

    Four nubile, bikini-clad girls standing before a judge has to be the start of some porn…filmed 20 years ago.
    Just sayin’

  9. chris

    they all have little guts…no thanks.

  10. JC

    So this is the plot I’m getting from this trailer:
    1. Bored college girls are bored.
    2. Bored college girls knock off a grocery store to get money for spring break.
    3. They bikini around for a while until…
    4. …some menacing wigger entrances them and then they have a gang war or something.

    • 5. James Franco smells his own fart and declares it to be, “entrancing.”
      6. Two of the four female “actors” end up Lohaning rich men for coke money

    • the_spiral

      5. The “music” or whatever you call it of Skrillex features all over your fucking face.
      6. Nobody watches this stupid shit, unless there’s nudity, in which case they bootleg clips to porn sites.

  11. Gary Grant

    I feel for the movie attendants who will be clean up all the kleenex after each showing.

  12. Where's Dildo

    This must be Ke$ha’s wet dream

  13. Cock Dr

    It’s like Shakespeare…with bikinis

  14. Moo Cow Hunter

    Is the trailer even there?! When I click on the video the picture disappears and nothing happens. Maybe my browser is trying to protect me. I’ll take the hint.

  15. Hell, I’d do every damn one of ‘em. But then, I’m not sure in what order.

  16. Maybe when we can turn this movie into our own little thing by having Superficial readers attend specific Thursday midnight screenings when it opens, and then everyone h̶o̶o̶k̶s̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶w̶a̶r̶d̶s̶ goes out for drinks to discuss the movie’s dense plotting and use of color and light.

  17. richie

    instant classic. they’re gonna take some heat about that “pretend it’s a video game” line.

    • the_spiral

      Nah, it’ll bomb. Have you heard the news? Apparently guns aren’t cool anymore or some shit.

      • richie

        oh, it’ll definitely bomb at the box office and get destroyed by the critics. i meant more in the sense of a “Showgirls” thing.

  18. so, I know they’re vapid, but when I hear Vanessa and Selena talking about “evolving as an actress” in this movie and so forth, I feel vomitous.

  19. KV

    I did not recognize James Franco at all. Would watch the movie just because of him.

  20. edvard Munch

    Hudgens ass looks phenominal

  21. shankyouverymuch

    OMG you guys! I can hardly wait, I’m gonna see this like 10 time in a row!!!
    Seriously, if any movie can insight a mass theater shooting- THIS IS THAT MOVIE! WATCH out batman, there’s a new contender in town!

  22. Exploitation to the nth fucking degree man!
    Gomez and Hudgens are circling the toilet along with a fat piece of number two I shitted out last night.
    But wait until the feminist get all over this hot mess.

  23. MTV must have gotten their best PR person to brief them bitches on what to say because it sounds so fucking scripted.
    Four bitches walking around a movie for 2 hours wearing bikinis and no kotex is a negative in my book.
    Here is the questions: Who is the target audience for this shit?
    And today’s soccer moms are so tech savvy. They will be texting, face booking and twittering WTF!
    Why he fuck would white parents, because black moms ain’t taking their kids to see this shit, take their kids to see 4 disobedient white girls and a crazed out wigger tear shit up on south beach? Especially after sandy hook.
    Bitch please!
    This movie is regressive and I hope it gets boycotted.
    Sorry for using wigger but come on guys, we can lay it down like this.
    Anybody remember showgirsl? Liz Berkley got caught up in that mess. She too thought she was growing as an actress. Taking risk. SMH. To this day she has never recovered from that fiasco. Neither did Lisa Bonet after she did anger heart. And Cosby told her not to do it.

    • richie

      you’re right. it’s exploitive trash for men to watch (and jack to). the target audience of girls should think it’s all BS (except the Teen Mom demographic) and I wouldn’t knowingly let my daughter watch it – she’ll probably see it at some point when she’s older.

  24. This movie looks fucking horrible. Somebody better get naked or it’ll bomb. You know it ain’t Selena or else that shit would’ve leaked months ago, so I’m betting on Vanessa. We’ve already seen her goodies, wouldn’t mind seeing them again.

  25. skunk

    bikini sluts

  26. Wilber

    Do ‘nessa give the judge a handjob? Her handjobs are legendary in Hollywood, she cleans up after by sucking down the load

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