The Superficial presents ‘Wait. WTF is That?’

March 22nd, 2009 // 183 Comments

Welcome to The Superficial’s latest caption gallery showcasing celebs who are flawed human beings just like you guys. As for me, I’m what they call “man gorgeous,” and there’s also a pretty good chance I’m a centaur. Minus the horse.

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Comments (183)

  1. ldy | March 24, 2009 at 8:01 am

    Ever saw a one sorta like this one on *** A f f l u e n t M e e t com *** It’s where romancing with the rich singles!

    Reply
  2. mikeock | March 24, 2009 at 8:03 am

    She must’ve cut her lip on the obligatory Star accessory – a can of Red Bull

    Reply
  3. HELLOO | March 24, 2009 at 8:03 am

    HERPES SAYS HI”

    Reply
  4. HELLOO | March 24, 2009 at 8:03 am

    HERPES SAYS HI”

    Reply
  5. Indrani | March 24, 2009 at 8:08 am

    It’s not herpes. It’s just a clean surface wound (you can see that it’s smooth, sores look entirely different), skin torn off. Someone bit her lip hard.

    I have herpes, and that ain’t it.

    Reply
  6. Fuzzbutt | March 24, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Awesome comment, #5! Way to be an expert on something!

    Reply
  7. Indrani | March 24, 2009 at 8:11 am

    You can even see the puncture wound, the dark spot on the innner side. That’s where he bit her, and then scraped the skin off with the teeth as he pulled back.

    Reply
  8. Rachel | March 24, 2009 at 8:12 am

    I agree with #5 that that isn’t herpes on Paris. I would be pretty amazed if she doesn’t actually have oral (and non-oral) herpes, but that picture is not herpes.

    I feel bad for most of these people having all their flaws pointed out. However, I did go through and look at every picture, because I am not a saint.

    Reply
  9. sexy | March 24, 2009 at 8:18 am

    nice (:

    Reply
  10. sexy | March 24, 2009 at 8:19 am

    sexy (:

    Reply
  11. baby | March 24, 2009 at 8:43 am

    What is going on with nicole kidman’s HANDS???

    Reply
  12. baby | March 24, 2009 at 8:43 am

    What is going on with nicole kidman’s HANDS???

    Reply
  13. Ryan | March 24, 2009 at 8:43 am

    i KNEW Madonna was a drag.

    Reply
  14. g_girl | March 24, 2009 at 8:46 am

    Christ, Monique. i was never that hairy in my entire life!!!

    Reply
  15. Jeezy | March 24, 2009 at 8:47 am

    I firmly believe all of these pictures are real and none of them are photoshopped at all…

    Reply
  16. Jazz | March 24, 2009 at 8:49 am

    Jewel also might want to consider investing in some sunscreen.

    Reply
  17. meh... | March 24, 2009 at 8:49 am

    be it herpes or not, we all know she freakin HAS em.

    Reply
  18. Amanda | March 24, 2009 at 8:51 am

    Those aren’t breast enhancers that Hayden Panettiere is wearing– it’s called a nu bra. It’s just a gel bra that is backless and strapless.

    Reply
  19. g_girl | March 24, 2009 at 8:59 am

    so what, plenty of people have herpes. get over it.

    Reply
  20. John | March 24, 2009 at 9:03 am

    “5. Indrani – March 24, 2009 8:08 AM

    It’s not herpes. It’s just a clean surface wound (you can see that it’s smooth, sores look entirely different), skin torn off. Someone bit her lip hard.

    I have herpes, and that ain’t it.”

    Paris Hilton and #5 are both a couple of nasty cock sucking whores.

    Reply
  21. meh... | March 24, 2009 at 9:05 am

    i may be crazy, but i think a little nose hair and furry lip is kinda hot on salma hayek. it’s like she’d too busy being hot and hispanic to care.

    definitely not madonna though. never her.

    Reply
  22. Rough Daddy | March 24, 2009 at 9:32 am

    Miranda Kerr should not be on with these freaks. The nastiest is Ashlee Simpson, unless shes swallowing my goo she should keep that kack landing strip tucked….Hayden is cute!

    Reply
  23. havoc | March 24, 2009 at 9:34 am

    Okay, Nicole Kidman’s hands win…holy shit.

    I…..holy shit.

    .

    Reply
  24. It's Me Fuckers | March 24, 2009 at 9:37 am

    the fuckin hairy legs!! OMG!! THAT was disturbing! Nicole Kidman’s hands look like she put them in boiling water… ouch

    Reply
  25. Zanna | March 24, 2009 at 9:45 am

    Suddenly…I feel beautiful.

    Reply
  26. Rough Daddy | March 24, 2009 at 9:57 am

    Id rather be poke in the eyes, 3 stooges style then seeing “monique”‘s Serengeti legs, she swears being obese is beautiful…

    Reply
  27. Sharla | March 24, 2009 at 9:58 am

    I think it’s a bruise from a pelvic bone being repeatedly slammed into her lip.

    http://internetmiscellanea.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  28. lizzy | March 24, 2009 at 9:58 am

    this was great, thank you!

    alicia’s keys’s chest hair and mo’nique’s man legs i think were by far the worst up there.

    Reply
  29. Lee | March 24, 2009 at 9:59 am

    Don’t get grossed out at Nicole Kidman, she could have Erythromelalgia or Raynaud’s for all that you know.

    Nothing to freak out about ya retards.

    Reply
  30. RichPort's Ghost | March 24, 2009 at 10:08 am

    Those are skid marks from an erect penis on Paris’ lower lip, proving she’s a boring suck… Ashlee Simpson, to her credit, displays the proper technique.

    Reply
  31. Sickitten | March 24, 2009 at 10:15 am

    Does this one ever take out her blue contact lens to let her naturally brown eyes breathe?

    Reply
  32. Apes in the White House | March 24, 2009 at 10:17 am

    That’s a puncture wound from a sickle cell from sucking on monkey cock.

    Reply
  33. Photoshop Police | March 24, 2009 at 10:22 am

    could be a burn from a glass “bowl”

    or could just be from drinkin too much.

    Reply
  34. Rob | March 24, 2009 at 10:29 am

    That pic of midget? That’s actually a strapless bra poking out, which I guess is techhnically a breast enhancer. But, it’s not like she’s stuffing it. So, you get A for effort for the joke, but fail.

    Reply
  35. farty mcshitface | March 24, 2009 at 10:34 am

    so number #19, is that what your hookup told you when he infested you with his diseased spunk?
    this is a pretty damn good chamber of horrors we have here. from that fat, ugly bitch with the hairy legs to the crypt keeper’s stache these are things to fear indeed. kidmans hands are very fucked up as well but, she has ALWAYS been one of those horrible, hideous things from down under.
    but where in the hell is that pic with paula abdul and her caved in sternum?
    now that was fucked up!

    Reply
  36. jlylec | March 24, 2009 at 10:38 am

    i’d dental dam those bitches like eastbound and down…

    Reply
  37. Ro | March 24, 2009 at 10:41 am
  38. Melanie | March 24, 2009 at 10:41 am

    i think nicole kidman (if that isnt photoshopped) has a medical issue. my friends hands (well whole body) was super super dry, like so dry lotion wouldnt even really help, and when they would have their hands down at their side for long periods of time, when he would lift up his hands they would look just like that, all red and turning kinda blue at the wrist… so it could be whatever my friend has – i dont know, but something IS NOT RIGHT about that… ouch!!

    Reply
  39. melanie | March 24, 2009 at 10:45 am

    PS – she is so darn pale, it very well could be the blood rushing to her hands while they are at her side, keeping them hanging at her side for a while then lifting them up (if she has what my friend has and due to her being very pale, could just be blood you are seeing through the skin!)

    Reply
  40. RichPort's Ghost | March 24, 2009 at 10:48 am

    quick everybody, look at my superintelligent and witty quips and observations I make. I mean, look at #30, c’mon, how ingenius and superfunny and sophisticated is that? Nobody can come close to touching my intellectual posts. Everyone should just drop down and thank god for me being here to make these keen remarks in such a smart and prophesizing manner. Everyone should print out all my posts and read them like a bible. May Biraq Obomma bless you, all of you. Jizz in my ass Biraq.

    Reply
  41. I'm B'lack Obomma, and I married Bigfoot. | March 24, 2009 at 10:52 am

    I’m B’lack Obomma, and I’m going to tax your employer so much that you get fired and your company goes out of business, which will create jobs!

    Also, I’m going to print trillions of dollars without any collateral backing the money, which will plunge the value of the US dollar to lower than a peso, sending our country into an economic depression, forcing every corporation and business that employs 90% of the US workforce to fire all their employees and move overseas, which will create more jobs!

    Change!

    Reply
  42. I'm watching you | March 24, 2009 at 10:55 am

    @40

    Reply
  43. RichPort's Ghost | March 24, 2009 at 11:05 am

    I’m 14. Stop picking on me.

    Reply
  44. Janey | March 24, 2009 at 11:11 am

    This fucking place hasn’t changed a goddamn bit…. Trolls, retards, spambots, idiots, fat dudes living in mom’s basements, AND US!!!!
    Hi ya Rich and Zanna!!!!

    Reply
  45. NipTuck | March 24, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Thanks for this :)

    Reply
  46. M- | March 24, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Been saying for years Madonna is actually a man….

    Reply
  47. M- | March 24, 2009 at 11:27 am

    Been saying for years Madonna is actually a man….

    Reply
  48. Joanna | March 24, 2009 at 11:33 am

    Dear Superficial writer: I love you. Honestly. I really do. Youre the perfect man mixed with a tad of psycho clown and a smidge of all that makes Homer Simpson something that makes me accidentally slide off my chair.

    But this. Youre showing pictures of women with stretchmarks, cellulite and body hair, like its a freakshow. This is what women actually look like. Especially after they give birth. Its cruel as hell to point some of these things out like theyre unnatural or we are all supposed to be horribly ashamed of them.

    Theres only one flawed man on your list. Which honestly makes me think you just despise women. Which I kind of know isnt true.

    But speaking for the global league of tits and pussy: This kind of stuff makes us sad in our hearts. Even more sad than we already are. It makes us not want to get naked in front of boys. It makes us cry in front of the mirror.

    PS. Id still make sweet rabbit-on-a-jackhammer love to you. But try to throw some more flawed dudes into the mix next time, mkay?

    Reply
  49. tode | March 24, 2009 at 11:35 am

    ^^^^^
    nicole kidman

    Reply

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