Or maybe just that guy.
In case you’ve been literally nowhere on the Internet this morning, the new Spider-Man movie has officially crossed the line from unnecessary reboot to the most intricate gay porn since Top Gun. On that note, that noise you just heard was every single exec at Sony realizing they’ve financed a movie where Spider-Man gets downward dogged in a parking lot. Which, let’s be honest, is going to move a shit-ton of action figures. To you, not me.
*Googles pre-orders*
Aw, sweet. This one shoots web-goo.
Photos: Splash News, WENN
first!
sick
his spidey sense isn’t the only thing tingling.
Nice! This is what I come to this site for! Keep up the great work!
Seriously, do we need a “reboot” when the last Spiderman movie came out three years ago? It’s like saying “Let’s reboot Knight And Day”.
Yes! we do need a reboot because the first time they tried they sucked and ruined the comics! I’m sorry did anyone see Spiderman 3? If you thought that was good you should be shot.
blow job!, blow job!, blow job!, blow job!, blow job!, blow job!, blow job!,
I’ve never understood the superhero coolness factor. No one would realistically think a guy in a latex suit is like that is cool, especially if he was shooting out spiderwebs from his wrists and stuff – that’s just fucking gross.
It is better than being an ordinary asshole.
Speak for yourself.
I can speak for myself, thank you.
Did he bang Kid Rock in the comics or is that just something new for the movie?
Nice!
I thought the guy looks like Nicolas Cage.
Okay, please dont call me a geek but what did they do to the costume? Hate it.
And did you notice he now has buttons for his web shooters? (Like in the comics!) How long before he runs out of web fluid?
From what im seeing it appears that they angry fucking. Throwing him on the hood of a car n shit.
“Where did the fluffer go?”
Spideys’ red Paddington Bear galoshes are to die for.
No money shot?
♫ Spins a web any size
Catches thieves with his fly.. ♫
They look so happy together!
is it just me or is that another spiderman inside the black car?
AWE YEAH
I still think it looks dipper. The face grab adds to the inner turmoil of spideys trousers. This film is already a win.
Ralph “the Karate kid”Macchico is not gonna be happy with this.
It must be embarrassing to walk around with spider sized junk.
Frikkin’ hilarious post!
It’s about time Scott Stapp payed for his crimes against humanity…in the gayest way possible.
So he has Kama Sutra powers in this movie too?
This shot explains why we never see superheroes junk or asses. Thank you comic industry.
ahahahahha
that sure does look like a Spiderman porn parody
The new suit looks like total shit. And what is with the big holes on each wrist? Don’t tell me they are trying to address how the web gets through his suit. I think that is one of those movie problems you can just let go, suspend disbelief a little.
Also it always made more sense that one of Spiderman’s powers was that he actually had the ability to produce web on his own. The web shooters peter parker created never made sense. Why would Spiderman get every spider ability except for the ability to make webbing?
because if he had actual spider web spinners, the web would shoot out of his ass.
Go Spidy manchowder shooter!
nice ripped costume spiderman
great way to hide an erection
To be fair, just before this shot, Spiderman and the criminal are slowly molding clay while listening to the Righteous Brothers’ “Unchained Melody.” So…you know…at least it’s classy butt sex.
Everything he shoots out is white and sticky.
wow, Dominatrix spiderman can sure take a pounding, I guess he has to work for his money, if you keep looking at the pictures, you can see that Kid rock fucks the shit out of him, rips his suit, fucks him so hard he makes the lenses of the mask pop out, Then peacefully gets in his car and looks at spiderman from the drivers seat like the cheap whore he is,
This pictures totally look like a prostitution gay movie
Good to see Puck from the real world getting work.
Gay Spiderman beats up lead singer from Nickleback…or is it Stephen Baldwin? I can never tell those two apart.
You complained that the original “Spiderman” was unrealistic so they equipped him with “Spinnerette Blast”.
Those are definitely vinegar strokes.
I hear the reboot will be more true to the comics. Which series portrayed Spider-man as a Power-bottom?
Way to hide the post “thug-wrestling-boner”, spidey.
Newest viral video, “Two boys and a flop”.
Well, they airbrushed him an ass.
I’m assuming they are going to CGI the hell out of that suit.
Here comes the Spiderman… all over your face
That first shot looks like he’s about to be fisted.
Also how do I shot web?
As if the Gay wasn’t already enough all over this, they go and airbrush Spidey’s ASS?!! Way ta fuck up a perfectly fine trilogy – couldn’t have been any worse of Lucas hasn’t bent Stan Lee and corned him personally.
“Holy goddamn fuck! Is that chick over there the one and only Chad Kroeger, head of the evil Nickeldouche Syndicate? It IS! Sorry M.J., I have a moral obligation to mankind to go double-face-kick the fuck outta that bitch. You’ll have to owe me the rest of this blowie.”
Hopefully it wont be like the Batman and Robin thing. This costume and the skinny Spiderman looks super gay (not if anything wrong with it) but it is just not cool for our beloved Spiderman.
My God the Spider-Man suit looks so horrible.
i always pictured spidey a top.
Spiderman- “Soooo…. we should do this again sometime.”
The top is really enjoying that. Who knew Spiderman was so tight??
As any Spidey enthusiast knows, he’s just pulling a throw move called a “hurricanrana”. Lets not get too excited and blast this new Spidey without even seeing it yet. But yeah its the internet, everyone has something to say (to try to snag attention).