Spencer Pratt’s Douche Manifesto revealed

Somebody, somewhere on the Interwebs decided to do some research (?) into the whole Mary-Kate Olsen/Spencer Pratt feud which apparently started back in high school. In a 2007 Details article, Spencer brags about selling a picture of an underage Mary-Kate drinking at a party for $50,000. On top of of that, he also dishes out his blatant attempts to leech the everliving fuck out of the celebrity world even if it requires having sex with Heidi on video:

On getting Brody to date Nicole Richie:
“All right, then here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you’re gonna get that skinny bitch to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that shit, bro. You’ll be, like, a fucking hero to America.

On being famous
“What does it take to be famous nowadays? Nothing! Look at Nicole. She’s on the cover of every magazine every week. And why? Because she doesn’t eat. Well, lots of girls in this country don’t eat. That’s, like, my whole philosophy with Brody–make him part of that.”

On starting his own sex tape scandal:
Pratt spends 20 minutes talking about how he plans to make a tape of himself and Heidi Montag having sex, which he’s thinking about posting online.

On Kevin Connolly of HBO’s Entourage:
“That guy is a joke,” Pratt says with scorn. “We were Entourage before Entourage.” He’s not joking. To Pratt, the notion that someone would become famous by acting is ridiculous. “Why would anyone act,” he asks, “when they can just play themselves?”

Dear Hollywood,

I know you’re reading this because you can’t get enough awesome. Don’t worry; your secret’s safe. In return for my silence, I’m calling in a favor. The next time Spencer Pratt comes to your office with some sort of asscockian pitch, I want you to throw a bucket of AIDS in his face. Nothing fancy. Just a bucket of AIDS. If you don’t have a bucket of AIDS or recently threw one at a member of the Hogan family, I’d be glad to provide you with another one – free of charge.

Together we can make a difference.

The Superficial Writer.