Spencer Pratt, Jesus can see you

Because a guy with a camera told her to, Heidi Montag bought Spencer Pratt a 68 Camaro as an early wedding gift. Like any douche worth his weight in high tops, he thanked her by pretending to have sex with her on the hood like that’s a normal part of their relationship. (It’s not.) Then again, it’s probably not a bad idea to practice for an inevitable career in porn. And by inevitable I mean minus Heidi add fireman.