Spencer Pratt, through some unholy alliance with Lucifer (He let him touch Heidi’s boobs.), managed to find himself as a guest on The Late Show with David Letterman. And, get this, the smug little douchecock has the nerve to check his watch during the interview! After that, Spencer rambles on about how he’s apparently found the next pop stars of the future which are really younger versions of pop stars of the past. I dunno, but it’s even more retarded than I just described:
“I live and breath pop culture. Right now I’ve got a partnership with the next Jay-Z. And he’s only 12. He’s better than Jay-Z at 12-years-old, so imagine him at 20…. I also have the future Michael Jackson. Duwann. He’s 23. You’ll be reading about him soon.”
Anyone get the distinct feeling Spencer Pratt stumbled across a time machine and is kidnapping the stars of today while they’re kids? I don’t know how else to explain why I saw him leaving Toys R’ Us with a young 50 Cent. Who Spencer then tossed in the back of a van while rubbing his hands together laughing “Children! I love children! Muhahahaha!” True story – which I know I say a lot, but, seriously, no bullshit; this one’s the real deal. Along with the time I said I had sex with Catwoman.