Spencer Pratt: ‘I’ll win Heidi back. With Army.’

June 3rd, 2010 // 189 Comments

Here’s Spencer Pratt in Malibu yesterday following up Heidi’s Sadness Photos with whatever the hell this staged shoot is supposed to represent. Is he so sad Heidi left him he can only communicate via walkie talkie now? I can’t even think about it without wanting to punch my brain stem out. On top of that, you’ve got everyone who knows them coming out of the woodwork to say their split is a stunt to sell Heidi’s new reality show including Jennifer Bunney who’s on the fucking thing. At this point, I honestly want to listen in on their conversations which is in no way an endorsement of whatever scripted bullshit they’ll act out on TV.

HEIDI: So I sat in front of a lake looking sad. What are you going to do?
SPENCER: I’m going to run around in the woods showing guys how rugged and into role-playing I am.
HEIDI: How does that help the show?
SPENCER: The what now?

superficial

  1. Peter Bogdanovich

    I said it before, this is going to end in a Star 80 situation.

  2. CLap

    This guy, let me break it down,

    1. Camelback, use it, don’t tie up your hands with holding crap.
    2. Comm Radio, put it in your pocket to free your hands of you trip and fall.
    3 2 non-rugged dress watches instead of a G-shock digital watch, nuff said.
    4 that buckle on your backpack that goes across your collar bones, use it, it keeps the straps from slipping off your sholders.
    5. Please go away Spencer, no really.

  3. l

    OMG this is HILARIOUS!!!! ROFLMAO!!!! Pure comedy gold!!! Thanks for this, Fish!!

  4. spediwasteofspace

    Un-fuc-king be-liev-able!!!!!

    I just can’t fathom being related to this sack of shit…his mother and father should be ashamed of themselves for bringing this montrosity into the world..

  5. DjCorbijn

    Look at me! I’m the fashion police! Woo-Woo!

  6. Way better than spence prat and no pube beard

    He is wasting my oxygen.

  7. mancuso

    The saddest thing is, by posting this comment to express my utter contempt of this scrotum, I’m acknowledging his existence and therefore playing right into his gaytard hands.
    How did evolution come to this? Or is it reincarnation? Was a sewer slug so much of an asshole in a past life that Shiva condemned it to be reborn as this?
    Questions, questions…

  8. you morons:his 15 minutes has turned into 5 years and he makes money from this,we pay his rent.Jeez,what lives we live.

  9. Francesca

    i just found my new computer background….

  10. eric

    if anybody deserved to be gang-raped in prison, this is the guy

  11. cc

    Wow! He did the WHOLE 2.5 mile loop?! Man, this guy needs to join an Airborne Regiment right away.

  12. Jeff Bridges is that you?

  13. Ryan

    yeah a douchebag – but for some reason I find him hot?!?

  14. Berry

    I get it.. 2 watches… for Day and Night :p

  15. dan

    The whole world, no matter race, creed, religion, sexual orientation etc. HATE these two. Even the Pope. We could start toward world peace by hanging them and broadcasting it worldwide… we’d call it “YES DAY!”

  16. Womb Raider

    He’s auditioning for ‘Magruber 2.’

  17. Clem

    What a tit. His boots are brand new, not a crease in them.
    He keeps going on like this and someone is going to hurt him.

  18. Angry Dude

    Why does he look like he’s auditioning for ‘Planet of the (G)Apes!’
    This Assclown has will-nots and dangleberrys in his facial hair.

  19. Joe

    Retarded much?

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  22. yayo

    beard? you can´t call bear it, rather albino pubic hair.

  23. Crap Bag

    I didn’t know he was such an awesome physical comedian. HE RULES!

  24. Evil Little Monkey

    Aside from the two watches Senor Cockbag is wearing. He must be in shape, c’mon give the guy some credit, he ran 2.5 miles with an empty backpack, carrying his own piss in a nalgene bottle, marking the way with his three pens and Park Ranger Dan on his two way walkie talkie so he doesn’t get lost and not once did he break a sweat.

  25. Evil Little Monkey

    ahem… and I almost forgot about his little “rape whistle”.

  26. Fantastic post, great commentary

  27. lauren

    this shit is hilarious

  28. In first photo, he is looking like Brad Pitt!

  29. Dee

    LOL. This guy’s surreal. Possible only in US that he’s a “celebrity”. In any other decent country we’d be already locked up for good. Ridiculous.

  30. Mary

    Biggest douchebag and piece of trash in earth, Guiness record certified!

  31. gunther

    Why hasn’t his family had him killed yet?

    If I were related to this shitbag in even the remotest fashion, I’d have him featured on Will It Blend.

  32. krystal
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Summer’s Eve and the U.S. Army team up and make a new douche?

  33. Lisa

    These crazy hillbilly commando mountain man photos made me laugh my ass off! Spencer is a train wreck. I can’t stop looking. WELLLL I”LLL BE….. it’s me, it’s me: Malibu Ernest T! …..Come on you know you laughed when you saw these snaps! Suddenly, I find him entertaining. It’s disturbing me. Stop it!

  34. pnut166
    Commented on this photo:

    His supreme doucheness is proven by his wearing two watches.

  35. SuttonPierce
    Commented on this photo:

    Kourt.! I went and you remembered me.! Yay.! Also, you promised to help promote @KardashianKrowd on Twitter. I’ll wait forever.! Haha.! Thanks.! Love you.! ;)

  36. tori
    Commented on this photo:

    Kourtney u and ur sisters are beautiful! U and khloe look amazing:)

  37. Sammy Sweet
    Commented on this photo:

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