Spencer Pratt: ‘I’ll win Heidi back. With Army.’

June 3rd, 2010 // 189 Comments

Here’s Spencer Pratt in Malibu yesterday following up Heidi’s Sadness Photos with whatever the hell this staged shoot is supposed to represent. Is he so sad Heidi left him he can only communicate via walkie talkie now? I can’t even think about it without wanting to punch my brain stem out. On top of that, you’ve got everyone who knows them coming out of the woodwork to say their split is a stunt to sell Heidi’s new reality show including Jennifer Bunney who’s on the fucking thing. At this point, I honestly want to listen in on their conversations which is in no way an endorsement of whatever scripted bullshit they’ll act out on TV.

HEIDI: So I sat in front of a lake looking sad. What are you going to do?
SPENCER: I’m going to run around in the woods showing guys how rugged and into role-playing I am.
HEIDI: How does that help the show?
SPENCER: The what now?

superficial

  1. Plo0x

    I think he is planning a covert op on HEIDI’S ASSHOLE!

  2. sweet

    @#48….agreed. I think we’re playing into his hand. He is intentionally being an idiot for attention. Like our beloved Randal.

  3. jesse james

    With the beard he looks just like the vagina of some homeless crack whore i fucked so she could buy the 4 pack chicken mcnuggets off the Mickey D dollar value menu. And that makes me smile.

    Run Spencergina, run!

  4. dude

    it’s pure genius…he’s giving us a visual representation of the jump he’d have to make to have a heterosexual relationship.

  5. Reg Dunlop

    The world would be so much better if a cougar would have leapt out and bit this fuck nut in the throat and dragged him to its den for lunch later on.

  6. AtomicCoffee

    @38

    Don’t be sad, Sandy. I was just saying that’s what SHOULD have happened.

    What REALLY happened was Spencer was loved, and his Strawberry Shortcake-esque impishness was encouraged and nurtured, and he turned out just fine. Look how happy he is playing in the park.

    Now, show me that smile…THERE IT IS!

  7. Stella!

    he saw a couple having straight sex in the woods and he cleared the fuck out.

  8. ishi-san

    Whahahahahaha! …..WOW…..hahahahaahhahaa!
    More More More! Again Again!

    He either has an amazing sense of humor or, more likely, thinks this is actually sexy….which makes it even more funny!!

  9. Girl

    He looks like Tom Hanks did after being stranded on the island for years in “Castaway” Oh and he looks like he smells too!

  10. Who is this pussy?

  11. oh i know

    the funniest part of the whole thing is the title “Spencer Pratt in MALIBU”…

  12. When you shear a sheep, you usually do around the asshole last. That’s what his beard looks like.

  13. Rush

    1. The first picture alone was enough to make me laugh out loud.
    2. The commentary made me laugh even more.
    3. Then I clicked through some of the pictures, and I laughed a little, then I felt sad. Either a) he is a genius, realizes how stupid this all is, and we’re actually the idiots for paying attention to their fake lives based on a fake spinoff of a fake show, or b) he’s that dumb. Either way, it’s sad to watch, because America is imploding on itself for either a) being dumb enough to pay attention to these two geniuses, or b) paying these dunderheads money for dumb shit.

  14. chupacabra

    I’m pretty sure that I’m getting very close to flying to Malibu and beating this worm within an inch of his life so he’s technically a retard for the rest of his life and we don’t have to hear or see him ever again. EVER.

  15. Didn’t G.I. Jackoff get kicked off some survival show? Or quit or whatever?

    Isn’t he afraid of mites and ants taking refuge in his facebush?

  16. OMG!!!

    IF YOU PUT ANOTHER FUCKING PICTURE OF THE SHEWOLF AND THE HEJAW ON THIS MUTHA FUCKING SITE, I WILL DO NOTHING BUT HATE YOU AND LOAD MY NO-EXISTENT RAMBO OOOZIE WITH ALL THE PLASTIC PIERCING ROUNDS I CAN FIND ON EBAY AND TAKE AIM THRU MY COMPUTER SCREEN, SQUEEZE AND HOPE FOR THE BEST.

  17. JonnyTopside

    This is what Nick Nolte would of looked like if he was 24 when he did tropic thunder.

    “you have hands?!!??”

  18. wtf?!?!

    Who the hell literally runs around in “Beverly Hills”?
    What the fuck? and what does he survive on, the money trees or does he use his silver spoon to eat the golden apples?

    Spencer! You are a dumb FuCk!!!!!

  19. stevebrt

    come on murder suicide ,please please please

  20. agentgirl

    What a freak!

  21. Nameless

    Why doesn’t he just join the military instead of cosplaying?

  22. SpeiDIE

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  23. Dank

    Man, those DC snipers a few years ago got the wrong fucking people! They’d be doing the world a favor if they took out these two wastes of skin….and plastic.

  24. Irule

    this guy has mental problem. I feel sorry for him.

  25. 1. Maybe he’s running because the gopher from Caddyshack has latched onto his face?

    2. He’s wearing two watches…why?

  26. bobo

    Good thing he had his cell phone with him. It looks like he had to stop and ask for directions. It’d be a shame if he got lost or was eaten by a bear. Well, not the bear part.

  27. ominous bob

    This is what retarded people see when you put LSD in their Cheerios.

  28. tard

    He is reading these posts now and winning in his mind.

  29. Buster

    The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sandracing.

  30. Senior Pepe

    OH… FOR FUCK SAKE!

  31. Brad

    He is wearing wo watching to see if his 15 minutes is up? Probably the biggest cockloser I have ever heard about.

  32. Holy shite. #78, that is the funniest thing I have read all week.

    You should get a job writing for Patton Oswalt.

  33. SpencerFag

    Is he trying out for to be Megan Fox’s replacement in Transformers?

  34. skibunny

    This man is obviously mentally ill, at first it was funny, then weird, now it is just sad because there is obviously something wrong with him. With his obsession with the military and weapons I would be very nervous if I was Heidi…

  35. ThisorThat

    What manner of douchbaggery is this?? You see this is what balloon boy is going to grow into. Attention wh*ores the lot of em.

  36. josh

    I really feel living in another alternate reality.

  37. Phil

    Even with a beard he looks like a moron.

  38. Captain Rammington Von Panda

    Two watches so you always know the time.

    And you knw what time it is?

    Crazy armypants leaping motherfucker o’clock.

  39. Phil

    What’s he got in the blue bottle? Looks like Philips Milk Of Magnesia!

  40. Phil

    Maybe he’s running cause he’s got the shits….that would explain the milk of magnesia!

  41. Phil

    # 76….that’s funny!!!

  42. Nero

    R.I.P.

  43. Z-OLY-1

    It’s painfully obvious NOBODY likes this guy,or his plastic wife!! Let’s face it: Ever since that train wreck Anna Nicole Smith died-we’ve been starving for the NEW punching bag! And lo-n-behold~WE GET 2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1!!! Patience does have it’s perks!!

  44. eatme

    this guy makes me laugh my ass off. I STILL can’t tell whether he is serious or just PR.

  45. Rhialto

    Please kindly convey my heartfelt condolensce to her family on her sudden passing away.

  46. dude

    nice reference #80!

  47. poopsmith

    yes arrested development references all around! this guy simply embodies that title quite well, what a fag bitch

  48. Darth

    #96
    Wrong post? Or do you want him to be hashsassinated?

  49. Rhialto

    99
    *Throws up coin* Wrong post lol.I had a busy day.

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