Spencer Pratt has an advice column? How the hell…

The brainiacs at Radar Online have decided to give Spencer Pratt his own advice column that will run every Tuesday. It’s entitled “Yo Spencer.” If your head didn’t just explode in sheer rage, here’s an excerpt from his latest column where Spencer talks about how he handles haters which is anyone he ever comes in direct or indirect contact with:

YO SPENCER! How do you deal with weak people and haters?
With weak people, you can only try to give them confidence and pump them up. To be honest, you don’t need them around you. I try to put myself around really strong people. Haters you should love. Hatred stems from jealousy at some point. If people aren’t hating on you, they don’t care, and if they don’t care, that means you’re not doing anything right. I love my haters. I don’t hate them back at all. You can turn so many haters around once they meet you. I’m like, “Thanks, I get it, I’m an idiot,” and they’re like, “Woo! He’s an idiot! He’s so cool!” I flipped a couple haters at Benihana just last night.

I guess Spencer’s definition of really strong people is his girlfriend Heidi Montag who would rather choose death over not living with implants. Which, in retrospect, is my exact definition of strong. Huh, maybe this Spencer guy is so cool. And maybe I should really stop smoking weed at work. After huffing aerosol – during my three martini lunch. SPENCER’S AN APRICOT! ZING! Now who wants cupcakes with Batman in the solar system under my desk? No Smurfs allowed!

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