Spencer Pratt has an advice column? How the hell…

March 26th, 2008 // 53 Comments

The brainiacs at Radar Online have decided to give Spencer Pratt his own advice column that will run every Tuesday. It’s entitled “Yo Spencer.” If your head didn’t just explode in sheer rage, here’s an excerpt from his latest column where Spencer talks about how he handles haters which is anyone he ever comes in direct or indirect contact with:

YO SPENCER! How do you deal with weak people and haters?
With weak people, you can only try to give them confidence and pump them up. To be honest, you don’t need them around you. I try to put myself around really strong people. Haters you should love. Hatred stems from jealousy at some point. If people aren’t hating on you, they don’t care, and if they don’t care, that means you’re not doing anything right. I love my haters. I don’t hate them back at all. You can turn so many haters around once they meet you. I’m like, “Thanks, I get it, I’m an idiot,” and they’re like, “Woo! He’s an idiot! He’s so cool!” I flipped a couple haters at Benihana just last night.

I guess Spencer’s definition of really strong people is his girlfriend Heidi Montag who would rather choose death over not living with implants. Which, in retrospect, is my exact definition of strong. Huh, maybe this Spencer guy is so cool. And maybe I should really stop smoking weed at work. After huffing aerosol – during my three martini lunch. SPENCER’S AN APRICOT! ZING! Now who wants cupcakes with Batman in the solar system under my desk? No Smurfs allowed!

Photos: Getty Images
superficial

  1. grunion

    Sooner or later darwinism will take care of these two.

  2. p911gt10c

    What a complete waste of a posting.

  3. DieByMyHands

    I punched a girl in the face once for using the word “hater”. I was drunk sure but it still felt right.

  4. Lauren

    So what does that say about his hatred toward Lauren? HAHHA What a toolbag! This guy just needs to shut his trap already..

  5. jessthemess

    Yo spencer,

    How do you deal with your fake life? Your fake girlfriend? Her fake tits and lips?

  6. BunnyButt

    It’s it my imagination or is Heidi’s plastic left breast melting and sliding down onto her abdomen? God, I’m so jealous! Wish I had melty fake tits!

    Bacon!

  7. JC

    Seriously, what is wrong with her boobs in this picture?? Nasty

  8. mimi

    Not first and don’t care!

    FISH GUTZ SUKS!

  9. Yo Spencers you are so cool!!

    @5 It is not hard to deal with the fake tits and lips as long as she know what to do with them..

  10. whatever

    @3- hahahaha!!!!

    as for this story, does anyone else see a grey bearded man coming toward them? Is that 4 horses? What are all these bugs?

  11. Doesn’t he mean flipped a couple of taters? Short order cook mothafucka…

  12. Guy

    Whats up with the not-so-distant-future looking boombox?

  13. Ted Mosby

    Yo Spencer,

    Did you roofie Heidi before you gave her implants?

  14. D. Richards (Self-Hater.)

    In Southern Californian douche:

    ‘Aukay, so, like, first off, what you’re going to wanna do, is, like — I wonder what they put in cappuccinos? I mean they’re like so, so good, dude. All that froth reminds me of, like, the beach and the babes and the surf and the sun. Remember the beach, dude? You know how the water, like, is wet, and salty; Salty (!), why’s the ocean got salt in it?

    You know what I think, man, is, like, there’s, like, two salt shakers up in the sky, bra, and, like, the sky is shaking salt and I’m screaming, ‘No!’ And the — maybe the Earth is one gigantic marshmellow! We’re all living on this marshmellow, right, and, like, we’re at a luau. . .’

  15. yawn

    these people are very strange.. their business is being famous.. except they are not.. and there’s no sex tape.. this guy is a giant douchebag.. she would be super hot in my eyes if i hadnt known about all her surgeries.. even those i could tolerate if they werent so weirdly fake.. she needs to get caught blowing someone or something her wholesome image sucks balls…

    but she is pretty fucking hot from a neutral perspective..

    if only..

    so many if onlys…

    weirdos.

  16. soap box manager

    oh my god, judgment day must be near. any second now this douche is going to have a lucrative career as a life coach and motivational speaker of joel osteen proportions. must destroy them now!!!!

  17. Mia

    As I was touching my firm natural 34C breasts on my petite 5’2″ body; I thought about all the implants and how solid and unnatural implants must feel.

  18. Spencer

    Dear Jessethemess,

    Here are my answers to your questions.

    1) I collect checks.

    2) I collect checks while people fap to her

    3) I penetrate them.

    Thanks for writing to me at Yo Spencer!

  19. Mrah

    Stop posting about these two idiots! No one cares, and you’re only making them more famous. Just ignore them and let them fade away, please.

  20. Clem

    There has never been a better advertisement for being Pro-Choice than these two hemorrhoids.

  21. crap reader

    Seriously, please stop giving these voids posts. not only do they suck beyond any comprehension but they even suck at sucking! really? did you have to friggin stage easter AND valentines festivities. seriously, the douchiest of the douches!

  22. Auntie Kryst

    I like Benihana. It’s fun to watch the chefs flip haters right at your very own table.

  23. lucifer's left nut

    if hitler were alive today and saw these aryan asshats he’d probably wish to recast them instead of the jews in his big hit musical “the final solution”

  24. Randal

    Haha. Props to #1, took all the nice words I was going to type out of my fingers for this comment.

    Randal

  25. The Superficial,

    What I wouldn’t give to smoke with you and ramble about everything and nothing all at once.

    XOXO

    Editor

    F-Listed

  26. Papa Smurf

    IS IT BECAUSE I’M BLUE??????

  27. heidi's boobs scare me

    Actually Heidi looks like smurfette right there.

  28. Great. Now I’m craving Chinese food..

  29. Cali

    Yo Spencer: people don’t hate you, they think you’re a tool and a douchebag. waddya suppose that really means……..??

  30. Here’s a smurfy, smurftastic present for you Superfish and Superfishites.

  31. Boohoo

    Since Spencer hates Lauren and Brody and actually quite a lot of people, what does that say about his jealousy?

  32. Dumbfounded

    I don’t know…..you say these are nobodys and just hype.
    Why do you keep posting ANYTHING about these two creeps??????

  33. tuben

    These fools only have crap like this because other fools (like you) keep paying attention to them…..

    Personally, I only read the posts for these two morons to admire terrific fake, water-balloon type boobs.

  34. combustion8

    what will he do when his 15mins are up?

  35. Anon

    Dear Superficial Writer,
    We’d prefer a day with no news rather than read about these two attention whores. So how about it? No more Spencer and Heidi news please.

    Love,
    Everyone

  36. shankyouverymuch

    OK- her body really is unbelievably fantastic, without question I’d give her the ‘once over’ about 5000 thousand times. BUT she is SO fucking over the top GAY, it’s unreal. (& yes by ‘GAY’ I mean STUPID like a rock — deal homos) How in the world does she think people can take her even remotely serious for even a second.

  37. So you dislike these people so much that you continue to post articles about them? Where is the intelligence in that?

  38. ALiCat

    I don’t know anything about any of you, so I’m not hatin’ on anyone which obviously means NONE OF YOU ARE DOING ANYTHING RIGHT.

    Yeah. I said it.

  39. Amanda

    Um does anyone else notice that one is lopsided?

  40. So happiness. She is so pretty and large sexy.I saw her many times in millonaire dating site”W e a l t h y L o v i n g . co m”.I am wondering what kind of love she want in this site?How long their love can last?

  41. Amanda

    I will clap my hands in glee, when these two are taken out by a semi, while they are posing for pictures.

    Stupid twats

  42. IWONKY

    Mmmmm, sucky sucky. No Smurfs allowed…that means Heidi can’t come…..and I’m not surprised….yo Spence….Heidi ain’t comin’……whose fault is that?????

  43. Barry Williams

    Yo Spence:

    With a fat face that screams PRICK do you even need a business card?

    My favorite video of Heidi is the one I’m going to make for Rapetube.

  44. jen

    ughh i actually liked radar.. until now.

  45. Kevin

    Mmmm……. THEY ARE WEIRD !!!!!!!

  46. etr

    his suit is too big

  47. spindoc

    Note to Spencer. The word “Haters went out about the same time Kelly Clarkson came out with her first CD”

  48. jenna

    “look i’m the douche that carries around a boombox so listen to my advice” these two deserve to, ok maybe not die, but cease to exist.

  49. JR

    I’d like to urinate on his face.

  50. KickRocks

    No Smurfs?! F THAT!

    Ok…so, all hatred comes from jealousy? So that means that I don’t really hate Hitler, I’m just jealous of him? Yeah, that sounds about right. Thanks Spencer!!

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