Spencer Pratt comes out of the closet

September 30th, 2009 // 62 Comments

In an interview with PopWrap, Spencer Pratt confirms what anybody who’s ever seen his douchebeard has already known: He’s not banging Heidi:

PW: So it sounds like we shouldn’t expect Speidi babies any time soon.
Spencer: I’m not even kidding, my wife — OK, I’m gonna get crass here — but we’re barely having sex because I’m scared that she’s gonna have a baby. That’s the level our marriage is on right now. I’m not even kidding — my wife has me debating cutting off my nuts.
PW: Do you think she’d trick you into having a baby by saying she was on birth control or something?
Spencer: She’s not the kind of person who would lie — she would just walk away and not answer the question. So yes, I’m very concerned. Our sex life has dramatically changed recently.

I highly doubt their sex life has “dramatically changed recently.” In fact, I’m pretty sure Spencer couldn’t pick his own wife’s vagina out of a line-up.

SPENCER: Uh, is it that one?
COP: Sir, that’s a half eaten donut.
SPENCER: Are you sure about that?
COP: It has sprinkles.
SPENCER: Riiight.

superficial

  1. weirdo

    Heidi let me eat your asshole please!

  2. I’m sure he has seen pu**y before. He just needs to look in the mirror.

  3. The “donut” dialogue…that is exactly why i love this blog. I laughed my butt off!

  4. Hey she is looking so stunning in that black dress, Such a marvellous body she has got. I just love her smile.

  5. melynnz

    Her body is NOT marvelous! Serioiusly? She looks nothing like what a REAL woman is supposed to look like! I mean, come on! Those boobs are just plain wrong! They look like they’re rock hard! “Superficial”-ality should NOT be glamorized! Disgusting!

  6. She is always so charming and attractive.

  7. She is always so charming and attractive

  8. Heidi let me eat your asshole please!

  9. good article,thank you

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