Spencer Pratt <3’s Jesus

Spencer Pratt wants everyone to know Jesus and him are “making the connection.” Not only that, but he’s taking spiritual advice from Heidi “I’d Rather Die Than Live Without Chest Balloons” Montag. You know, the chick who recently tried to pretend she’s a virgin. Holy art the assclowns. Scope out the Passion of Spencer Pratt via Us Magazine:

When Mary-Kate Olsen said that he had a bad temper, for example, “my natural Spencer Pratt had to attack,” he says.
So he called her the “less cute” twin.
“Heidi’s there going, ‘What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do?'” Pratt says. “And I’m like, ‘Jesus gave me these great comebacks.’ And she’s like, ‘No, that’s the devil.'”
Pratt says he now goes to church every Sunday with Montag.
“People are very excited to see me there. They’re like, ‘It’s good you’re here,’ and they’re patting me on the back like, ‘Thank you for being here.'”

Ha ha ha! The poor jackass thinks people at church recognize him. Adorable. I almost don’t have the heart to tell him they don’t care who he is; they just want money. But somehow I persevere: They want your cash, douchenuts!