Spencer Pratt <3′s Jesus

August 21st, 2008 // 64 Comments

Spencer Pratt wants everyone to know Jesus and him are “making the connection.” Not only that, but he’s taking spiritual advice from Heidi “I’d Rather Die Than Live Without Chest Balloons” Montag. You know, the chick who recently tried to pretend she’s a virgin. Holy art the assclowns. Scope out the Passion of Spencer Pratt via Us Magazine:

When Mary-Kate Olsen said that he had a bad temper, for example, “my natural Spencer Pratt had to attack,” he says.
So he called her the “less cute” twin.
“Heidi’s there going, ‘What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do?’” Pratt says. “And I’m like, ‘Jesus gave me these great comebacks.’ And she’s like, ‘No, that’s the devil.’”
Pratt says he now goes to church every Sunday with Montag.
“People are very excited to see me there. They’re like, ‘It’s good you’re here,’ and they’re patting me on the back like, ‘Thank you for being here.’”

Ha ha ha! The poor jackass thinks people at church recognize him. Adorable. I almost don’t have the heart to tell him they don’t care who he is; they just want money. But somehow I persevere: They want your cash, douchenuts!

superficial

  1. First

    Spencer & Heidi = BIGGEST DOUCHEBAGS in the world

    He’s even portraying as a metaphor for a DOUCHEBAG in that picture.

    Oh and First bitches.

  2. WhoCares!!

    FAG!!

  3. firstpeoplefail

    first

  4. AllieCat

    ooohhh she’s scary

  5. Scabbeus

    He is holier than thou…ass-wholier!

  6. Lester

    What’s the bigger joke: Spencer & Heidi or organized religion?

  7. Dumdidum

    Isn’t he the motherfucker in that video on the gun range, shouting: “Fuck, I love guns! Take that, you black motherfucker!” into the camera? He is, right?

  8. UK_Matt

    @6

    And the major question – When is his body going to grown to match the size of his head.

    Fucking human bobble-head doll of himself retard niche market grabbing christian popwhore loving fuck knuckle.

  9. .

    No one, in the history of the world, has ever been excited to see Spencer Pratt.

  10. grownup

    …and then I go “Why do they, like, talk like 12 year olds?

  11. Ishi-san

    Why does he wear 2 purses?

  12. Celine Dion

    I think this dude is funny looking. I’d like a 24-inch version of him, that I’d keep on the shelf. Each day I’d take him down, have him put on a leprechaun costume, and make him run around the neighborhood giggling like the mischievous little imp that he his.

    Then I’d charge him to defecate on the neighbors cars, lawns, and doorsteps, giggling all the while.

    Then I’d send him to bed without any supper.

  13. Alex

    Jesus as a career move? Makes sense. Launched Jessica Simpson, numerous others. But Spencer must realize he needs to keep they gay sex othing on the down low – that won’t play well in Branson.

  14. Ozzie

    If you guys would quit posting about them 3 times a day they would fade away …

  15. sb

    Okay, so who’s with me in taking up a collection to have them offed? Because really, I can’t stand it anymore. I want to punch them both in their fake smiling faces and rip out their vocal cords. But I don’t want to go to jail, so I’m willing to hire a hitman. Any takers?

  16. I think Spenser is the surrogate mother to Ricky and Clay’s babies!

  17. rough daddy

    theyre doing their own p.r. stunts till someone offer them a gig, thats kinda smart…

  18. Rant

    It’s America’s favourite douche bag to kick in the ribs. So let the dipshit have it!

  19. me

    sb – i’ll do it.

  20. E

    Dear Mr. Superficial writer:

    Please continue to cover every detail of this power-duo! This beaten horse is not dead til you say it is!!!!

    Signed,
    Nobody

    P.S. Kim Kardashian is a whore, but she’s hot.

  21. Whip

    and of course, Montag is German for Monday, so he goes to church every Sunday with Monday.

    I’m probably the only one that finds that amusing.

    And I don’t have a problem with that.

  22. therusskie

    I am a Pratt (through marriage). I am so embarassed that this guy spoils such a good last name. What a tool!

  23. Drew

    He is absolutely georgous. I love this amazing man. He is a certified millionaire member at Richromances.com. I sent a wink to him over there last week

  24. speidiISNOBODY

    ew. who are they? WHO THE F*** ARE THEY? even less than nothing. so let’s stop wasting everyone’s space/time

  25. Sport

    Nice purse, fag.

  26. venomhed

    The THUG GENERATIONs offspring. Kids worship stars these days just for being rich.

    I fucking HATE this guy with all my heart and soul and the Thug Generation is nothing but a load of spoiled assholes.

    We are doomed as a country!

  27. materialism

    hahaha…. # 21…. that is rather amusing…

    and # 23….. NO COMMENT (it scares me so much anyone can be of that opinion… hope it’s just a joke)

  28. mimi

    Pray for Amy with me guys

  29. TaiTai

    I wish I knew who in the heck these people are.

    No actually, I take that back. I think I am better off NOT knowing. However, my gaydar is blaring.

  30. Richard McBeef

    16 – I don’t think SP was the surrogate mother, but the seed CA and RM put into their turkey basters was collected from Spencer’s mouth and ass.

  31. sarah

    PLEASE someone get rid of these people…somehow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Ishi-san

    @ 21: No I thought it was kinda funny too, but I have a very stupid kind of humor. *lol

  33. TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

    TURN THE FUCKEN ADVERTISING SOUND OFF. NOBODY EVER WINS ANY OF THIS SHIT AND IT IS ANNOYING!

  34. 21st century digital boy

    I didn’t think it was possible for me to hate them anymore than I already did. And then this story came out., and I found the strength to hate them even more. Just become televangelists and get it over with.

    Not even Jesus could save these two from their own obliviousness.

  35. A

    God! Somebody punch him in the face!

  36. This BITCH and her”BUTCHER” are still under construction for a couple of centuries, MORONS!!

  37. Harry Ballzack

    Hahahahaha …….
    He’s a little cutie – I’d fuck him in that purty little mouth !!
    I see he “carries” his douchebags these days !!!
    Hahahahahaha ……………

  38. Harry Ballzack

    @ 12 – *Gasp* … you beast !!

  39. Porn Protagonist

    Each are derelicts. The only thing that could change that, would be a video of large black men penetrating each of their orifices.

  40. Obvious

    #37
    He’s showing the difference between his first douchebag and his new one

  41. kitty

    these two just need to disapear for a very long time. they are just sick.

  42. norton

    These two were mildly amusing in the past…. now they have moved from the ridiculous to the sublime.

    I think it was John Lennon who pretty much dictated the demise of the Beatles when he said “We’re bigger that Jesus Christ…”

    Although, I’m certainly not comparing the Beatles to Silicone Tits and Fagboy.

    Just sayin’

  43. ali

    @ 39

    i would pay large sums of money to see that video of heidi.

  44. ella

    you people are mean. making fun of that nice lady with two purses just because she has a butch haircut …

  45. GayPorn

    Spencer does gay porn. He’s not gay so it is ok.

  46. justifiable

    As people have pointed out, “pratt” is English slang for “ass” or “fool”.

    Spencer finally heard about it. Since he’s concerned about his image, he’s announced he’ll be changing his name something shorter, more forceful-sounding, less silly. Henceforth he’ll be known as Spencer Berk.

  47. Lisa

    Seriously !!!!!!!!!!!! These two are ridiculous, and they are fake and now to say that Heidi is a virgin, did she forget her pregnancy scare ?????? And now they have both found god, give me a break, they truly are the most ridiculous people ever

  48. justifiable

    #47 They may have found God, but He’s moved twice, trying to lose them.

  49. Bill Clinton

    Is it just me, or does anyone else, when they see a picture of this douchebag, feel the urge to go on a homicidal rampage, with him as the first victim?

  50. mimi

    Time to stop praying for Amy. I’ve finally realized that, according to the bible, everything is predetermined and begging God to intervene in everyone’s daily lives is futile.

    Amy should take responsibility for her own actions.

    Thank You

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