Spencer Pratt: ‘My Arrest Brought Heidi and I Back Together’

Spencer Pratt was arrested in Costa Rica over the weekend for failing to declare a small arsenal in his luggage while boarding a plane back to Los Angeles. The incident has apparently provided the perfect opportunity for him to pretend Heidi Montag is calling off the fake divorce of their fake marriage, according to the Associated Press, a once reputable news organization. Welcome to my world:

Pratt said Monday that Montag stood by him during what he called the “wildest day ever of either of our lives.” He says that sparked hope that she might drop her divorce filing. He and Montag were back in Los Angeles after Saturday’s incident.
Police in San Jose, Costa Rica, said the couple were briefly detained at the airport for illegal arms possession after security officers found two unloaded handguns in their luggage. Police say Pratt and Montag hadn’t declared the weapons and lacked permits to have them in Costa Rica.

You may be asking yourself, “Why the hell did Spencer Pratt need a bag full of handguns at a tropical resort in Costa Rica?” Allow Ramb-douche here to explain. Via Popeater:

“As part of my spiritual cleansing I’ve spent the last week living alone in the jungle, reflecting on my past transgressions, and working to become a better person. I had to live off the land, and hunt to survive. As I departed the country this morning to continue my spiritual journey, I mistakenly brought my hunting weapons to the airport. It was an honest mistake, and they sent me on my way.”

There are things I’m willing to accept in this life: The earth is round. Women can vote. Binge drinking is not a sign of alcoholism, it just helps with the tremors. But Spencer Pratt living off the land? Get the fuck out of here. The guy looks like he can’t even make a sandwich without hiring two maids and a Navy SEAL for rough, yet emotional support. “She didn’t use the mayo I like. Hold me (in the butt)!”

Photos: Pacific Coast News