With the sex tape sale being exposed for the headline-grabbing scam everyone knew it was before the words even made it past his douchebeard, Spencer Pratt is playing the last publicity card in his deck, not counting the Jack of Coming out of the Closet. This time around he’s sent an open apology to Heidi Montag to any media outlet who will read it like the goddamn suckers we are. (Seriously, nobody look at me. I don’t want you to see me like this.) Via People:
Divorce can be a trying, draining, and emotionally devastating experience for all involved. Despite these hardships, most individuals manage to conduct themselves with dignity and maturity. I did not – I failed spectacularly.
“I horribly embarrassed the one person that meant the world to me. For my outrageous and infantile behavior, I offer Heidi my most sincere apologies.
“Over the years, her love, support, and friendship were always given, but never properly cherished. I let her down. She never deserved the pain and anguish I put her through, and although I don’t expect it, I hope in time she’ll be able to forgive me.
“Even though our relationship has changed, I will always count her among my best friends.”
Somewhere Heidi Montag sits in front of a monitor, tears streaming down her face. He’s speaking directly to her through the secret, and most intimate language of their hearts: A shameless publicity stunt! “Oh, sweet Spencer, if only you could penetrate me. Just once. Then we’d be on TMZ together until my batteries take their last, dying charge.” *sobs into chest pillows*
Photos: Pacific Coast News
Bob | September 9, 2010 at 4:36 pm
First !
RtSS | September 10, 2010 at 2:55 am
Yeah, on a thread about a flesh-colored bearded douchebag. Wow… That’s setting the bar really high, what’s your next accomplishment going to be??? Spill some milk and watch it spoil.
Machmed Medula aka sleepercell | September 9, 2010 at 4:37 pm
VC! VC! VC!!!!!! herre com vc wit rice picker hat and carrera!!! him spy VC!!
atotalcad | September 10, 2010 at 9:53 am
Charlie’s in the light! Fire at will!
Richard McBeef | September 9, 2010 at 4:43 pm
they make money being hated and their entire life is scripted. these two fuckstains might be the smartest people in celebridom, not that it is saying much.
Rush | September 9, 2010 at 5:38 pm
you, sir, are correct. you guys can go on and on about how stupid or how gay spencer pratt is, but he’s famous and he’s fucking heidi montag while you sit behind a monitor beating your poon.
Spencer has fashioned himself into a happy-go-lucky weirdbeard with nothing to do but travel, spend money, and have sex, which in turn pisses all of you off. Why? I also think his weiner gesture with the camera is pure comedy. Kudos to him and his fake life. Now, I’ve got to get back to work, and I’m guessing you do, too.
Dirt McGirt | September 9, 2010 at 6:20 pm
WOW, I feel honored to have the President of the Spencer Pratt fan club on board with the rest of us here. Nice to meet you President Rush.
Is it hard fending off all the gay emails 24/7?
I can imagine, being the homo that you are, that you get quite a few bennies as prez with a spiel that goes something along the lines of “Youve got to bend over for me to get to him”, right? Good on you man. Im sure Ricky Martin, Tom Cruise & Richard Simmons are envious.
If you can take his panties out of your mouth long enough, can you give Ol Bob up there a cal and leave him a voicemail? He’d love it Im sure. Nambla and The SP Fan Club go hand in hand. Thanks!
truth | September 9, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Actually Spencer Pratt is broke, because he wasted all his money on crystals. He does have some money left, and makes money selling pictures, but that will soon run out when his fame does. And he isn’t banging Heidi Montag, she admitted her body is too sore for physical contact. The fact that you are jealous of Spencer Pratt is really really sad Rush. Spencer Pratt is going to end up in a homicide/suicide when he is no longer famous. Seriously Rush, I feel bad for you man, get a life, try talking to girls at bars, see a therapist, i mean do something. Jealous of Spencer Pratt? I think im sadder for you than those African kids born with AIDS and fucked up noses.
MoFro | September 9, 2010 at 4:47 pm
Heidi Montag: I’m inflatable.
RtSS | September 10, 2010 at 2:59 am
Yes, and I would do each of her infatable moist openings. Word has it, she loves the schlong pushed up the poopchute. She is a dirt tunnel gal, and proud of it, as she got that anally bleached in one of her many cosmetic make-overs. Ms. Montag, call me… I will rock your world with a ‘Hat Trick’ that will leave you weak and quivering. Call me.
dudeatdudedotdude | September 9, 2010 at 4:48 pm
one can only hope that was a suicide note. time check 14:59. in the subliminal words of ozzy, Get the gun…..shoot….
turd ferguson | September 9, 2010 at 4:54 pm
wat the fuck is this fuckstick photographing? the nuts on a flea, or the view of Japan from the Californian coast? This dude is a tool. Fuggem!
Richard McBeef | September 9, 2010 at 5:25 pm
there was some dude getting dressed after he got out of the shower 2 miles away.
Turd Ferguson | September 9, 2010 at 6:49 pm
get your own Superficial handle you tool
McFeely Smackup | September 9, 2010 at 5:15 pm
I wish he was dead just for growing a beard that looks so fucking stupid.
Lady Blah Blah | September 9, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Richard Dawkins and the rest of the “new atheists” could’ve saved themselves a lot of time by co-publishing a book titled Proof That There Is No God that consists of a single page on which is a photo of this douchebag asshat.
McFeely Smackup | September 9, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Dawkins would cockpunch this sack of fail, and his british accent would make it sound like the most intelligent thing you’d seen all day.
Dorian Gray | September 11, 2010 at 11:18 am
Actually he’s proof Tthere IS a God. You think he’s a product of natural selection? You think the gene pool could naturally cough up one of him? And then once so coughed up, he gets in the limelight while completely lacking in talent and interest? A divine hand is surely at work for the sake of the hurdles this bozo has cleared.
jesse | September 9, 2010 at 5:23 pm
whoever has a lens like that and is not a photographer by profession is a DOUCHEBAG and needs a dose of tool academy asap.
dudeatdudedotdude | September 9, 2010 at 6:26 pm
and a blanket party..
tempo | September 9, 2010 at 9:43 pm
Funny enough…I saw that lens and thought the EXACT same thing. Someone at Canon is probably crying tears of blood along with any photographer who sees that picture.
L | September 9, 2010 at 5:37 pm
is he crazy now?
Peanutty | September 9, 2010 at 6:16 pm
Sorry, I find them more amusing than say Kate Gosslin, Snooki and LiLo rolled into one.
dudeatdudedotdude | September 9, 2010 at 6:28 pm
i’ll take lilo. the rest, well yeah the world would be vastly improved by their sudden disappearances/deaths
The Only Hetero in this Joint | September 9, 2010 at 7:07 pm
I hate Spencer Pratt – and not because he is a worthless douche who has not one iota of redeeming value as a human being or as entertainment nor is contributing anything to the world around us.
I simply hate on Spencer Pratt because he has gotten close enough to the single most delicious hottest babe the western world has to offer. She is so awesome that the fact that she shared airspace with that shitbag will bother me to the end of my days…and by the way: On my last day on this planet, my last dying words will be: I desperately want to see Heidi Montag naked and lying next to me right now. I want to die with a Heidi Montag nipple in my mouth.
Anyone – ANYONE! who has a negative comment about Heidi Montag is beyond the limits of alternative lifestyles as we know it. If i were an explorer of alt lifestyles I would declare that anyone who said something bad about Heidi exists in a part of the universe where hetero males dare not tread… They are beyond that point on the horizon where Christopher Columbus’s men used to point and say: ‘There is the end of the world…beyond that point no man shall go….’
supafly | September 10, 2010 at 1:37 pm
wtf
mike nike | September 9, 2010 at 11:20 pm
This guy is a fucking freak show. If i lived on a deserted island and he was my only companion I would drowned him on day one.
captain america | September 10, 2010 at 6:12 am
A GOOS SHRINK CAN HELP HIM?