Sophie Monk dating Russell Simmons?

When I see a young model like Sophie Monk dating a rich, older man like Russell Simmons, it makes me realize I spend way too much time talking to women and not enough time hurling dollar bills in their face with a leaf-blower. I guess it’s time for me to mature as a person. But, first, do you think quarters would have the same effect? I’d tape little wings on them.

NOTE: Yes, you can kind of see Sophie’s nipples. Provided you squint hard enough and believe in the power of imagination.

Photos: Splash News, WENN