Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer (True Blood) were married Saturday at a small service in Malibu which may or may not have been officiated by Roseanne Barr because that’s who you want blessing your marriage. Anyway, following the ceremony, Vampire Bill apparently changed into his swim trunks and jumped into the Pacific because, at this point, I can only assume the poor bastard wants to have sex as much as a dentist wants to see teeth on the weekend.
STEPHEN: Can we do something, anything besides gratuitous hard-fucking on our honeymoon? Shit, I just want to swim in the ocean. In proper attire.
ANNA: I want to read a book and wear unflattering sweatpants.
STEPHEN: I love you.