Candid, racy, sexy, semi-nude, midgets in rodeo outfits, [Other Google keywords here] photos of Christina Aguilera circa her “Not Myself Tonight” video shoot in April 2010 were leaked online today. Based on that time-line, I’m going to assume these were sent to her then-manstress Matthew Rutler who did exactly what you’re not supposed to do with these things: Knock someone up.
What? Did you think I was going to say, “not leak them online?” Because that’s just crazy talk. In fact, I question his manhood for waiting this long. That’s like being afraid to pump gas in your car. How do you think this thing runs? Groupon? Get outta here.
UPDATE: In a revealing move, Christina’s people have actually confirmed the photos are her, and that she was the target of a hacker. Because if there’s anything hackers love, it’s conveniently distributing photos of a now-pregnant woman to remind people she used to be thin. Damn their villainy!