Holy Santa Maria Jesus Shit Christ, Sofia Vergara’s Breasts At The Golden Globes After-Party

This morning, I made a comment that the Golden Globes were boring as shit and nobody wore anything that justified their own post. Which technically is still true because here’s Sofia Vergara at the after-party where I like to believe the Hollywood Foreign Press took everyone’s awards back and handed them to Sofia’s breasts. “Excusey, we’sa make a mistake. Slave movie a make-a us-a sad in the pants, but yousa breasts.. you’sa breasts make us very hap- I said let-a go, little boy Amy Adams! You’sa American Hustle us no more.” (I’m shooting myself in the face right now. Don’t worry.)

Photos: Getty, Splash News