Sofia Vergara Shuts Down Bullshit Embryo Battle

“Ha! I have brought the, how you say, ‘dagger of chins,’ you bastard man.”

Last week, the New York Times published a remarkably bullshit op-ed from Sofia Vergara’s ex Nick Loeb where he basically tries to get pro-lifers to rally around his cause – Who naturally were already stupid enough to be on board from the jump. – to somehow force Sofia Vergara to give him the tiny, real live adorable babies in a jar so he can have a piece of her forever, I mean preserve life. This is about preserving life. Why does Sofia Vergara want to kill life? Except this isn’t about life. It’s about frozen cells in a petri dish that Nick Loeb already signed a legal contract requiring mutual consent for their use or destruction which Sofia Vergara wasn’t even doing because she’s smart enough to go, “Oh, right, I signed that thing.” So here she is on Good Morning America this morning basically saying “WTF?” and shutting this shit down:

“I’ve been working very hard for 20 years to get to this point where I am, enjoying my movie,” she said. “I promote all my movies, all my work, but I don’t like promoting my private life and I don’t understand why this person…I don’t want to allow this person to take more advantage of my career and try to promote himself and get press for this.”
Loeb, from whom Vergara split in 2014, penned an opinion piece last week in the New York Times to explain why he wants to “protect” the embryos he says the couple used in-vitro fertilization to create. Loeb is not alleging that Vergara is actively trying to destroy the embryos. He writes that it is his mission to preserve them at all costs.
“It shouldn’t be out there for people to give their opinion when there’s nothing to talk about,” said Vergara. “There’s papers signed. There is a court date. He shouldn’t be creating something so ugly out of nothing.”

In Sofia Vergara’s defense, Nick Loeb’s life-work is shamelessly shilling salad condiments at every opportunity, so if this guy somehow found a way to make a celebrity baby pop out of a woman’s uterus holding a jar of Onion Crunch, someone should probably look into that before letting him publishing op-eds demanding the right to frozen embryos. He’s just going to throw the kid out afterwards anyway. Unless he’s allowed to call it Onion Baby then maybe.

Photo: Getty