So Who Wants to Hear How Lindsay Lohan Was Conceived?

December 8th, 2010 // 26 Comments
Michael Lohan Underwear

And also see because here’s an exact reenactment (above).

Correctly realizing his daughter is worth more hopelessly addicted to drugs than she is sober, Michael Lohan took matters into his own hands by going on the Playboy Morning Show to talk about the time he conceived Lindsay while in Switzerland with Dina. RadarOnline reports:

“I don’t even want to go there…there are so many positions…actually probably on my hands and knees,” he admitted.
Lindsay is being treated for her cocaine addiction while at the Betty Ford Center, and her dad talked about his past drug use while conceiving his daughter.
“It was the first time I ever smoked pot in my entire life,” Michael said.
He then joked that he was so high that he couldn’t leave the Swiss chalet for three days.
“You’re stuck in a chalet for three days so you’re going to have a lot of sex.”

Is anyone surprised to hear Lindsay Lohan was conceived during a three-day drug binge? Honestly, I’m not even convinced she came from Dina’s uterus as much as she just magically appeared in the ashtray.

DINA: Dude… dude… there’s a baby in the ashtray.
MICHAEL: Aw, man, we should like totally sell it to Hollywood. Just like sell the whole thing.
DINA: Hollywood…
MICHAEL: Hollywood… Can I kick you in the vagina?
DINA: That’s extra.

Photo: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. gogo

    FIRSTTT!

  2. suck it

    while i normally think this man is a worthless piece of trash, he did something good by sharing this lovely story… it explains a lot about LiLo…

  3. Something rough this way comes

    Well! he is papa douche cube.

  4. J

    Thought she was created in a lab using a syringe of heroin and a test tube of stale Mongolian sperm.

  5. Colonel Ferdinand

    that’s extra lol

  6. Puddin' Taine

    What an asshole! I guess she will be calling me daddy from now on… among the 42 other guys in the San Fernando area…

  7. He’s such an idiot.

  8. Dread

    If Lindsay ever does O.D., Dina and Michael will just turn it into a Weekend At Bernie’s type deal. Sure, eyebrows will raise at the new found closeness of the Lohan clan, but the alternative of falling into complete obscurity will be unacceptable for them. The only question is, what song will get Lindsay to re-animate?

  9. Facebook me

    This is someone’s “Dad,” I’m embarrassed for him.

    There is a study done that while the baby is developing in utero whatever the Mother consumed during pregnancy the liklihood the baby will develop the same penchants for once born.

    Their family dynamics makes sense to me now.

  10. It probably just looked like two leather couches going at it.

  11. jojo

    “Kill it with fire” Please.

  12. WTF

    No wonder the poor girl is a mess. How miserable and embarrassing it must be to know that your parents are just old teenagers. How can Lindsay be expected to grow up when clearly, neither of her parents have?

    • Dan

      This is so true. Cutting them out of her life completely is the only way she will get a chance to make something of herself – in acting or not.

  13. Lady Blah Blah

    Every time I see a picture of this guy I experience homicidal rage.

  14. McFeely Smackup

    I’d have never guessed Lindsay Lohan was conceived during a drunken coke binge.

    Oh wait, that’s actually exactly what I guessed.

  15. Here I thought Lindsay was conceived on the Alter of Satan with the Fallen Angel himself copulating inside of a dead goat???

    Hmmmmm … I shouldn’t think out loud sometimes …

  16. I’m assuming he left out the part where he actually ejaculated inside Dina because he’s a gentleman.

  17. why am I not surprised

    Conceived durring a drug binge, guess this explains alot about her behavior. I can’t help but feel for Lindsay. Mind you, she’s still a narcissistic train wreck; but this explains alot.

  18. ctrl tab

    I’m thinking that this is as close as he will get to being surrounded by unstained panties.

  19. Carolyn

    WTF does he have on his ass? Women’s panties?

  20. aleish

    michael lohan is not a human being!

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