So The Chubby One Has a Huge Wang

September 22nd, 2010 // 93 Comments

And I’m not talking about Snooki. Zing!

Jersey Shore’s Vinny Guadagnino – I know these kids’ last names now. Goddammit. – is currently being courted by Playgirl to be the mold for their latest sex toy because apparently it’s easier than just dipping a lighthouse statue in rubber. Hey, it worked for grandma, it should work for the rest of us. E! New reports:

Playgirl has apparently offered Vinny $30,000 to make a cast of his manhood so they can reproduce it as a sex toy.
Guess Snooki was on to something when she told us the other day that Vinny should “get a mold of his penis and sell it to everyone.” For those not in the Jersey Shore know, Snooki has made no secret about how well-endowed she thinks Vinny is after they hooked up during the making of season two.

Wait. This guy banged Snooki? HA! Kill yourself.

But, seriously, I could make a scene here and say, “What’s the big deal? I get offers like this. Every. Single. Day.” But I’m not the type to make a mold of my penis for mass production and tell. It’s uncouth. I won’t be a part of it.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Amy

    As long as I wouldn’t have to look at his face or pudgy body…

    I’ll take one I suppose.

  2. josh

    First !

  3. d3struction

    JFC… Anyone from anywhere can be retarded, ignorant, stupid, unintelligible, fucking batshit lazy, harbor faux narcism…only these guys take the cake. Unfortunately, the North is host to a group of people just as large and fucked up as the South is with their rednecks, so I think its fair to say this country is full of fucking morons.

    Complete wastes of oxygen and make the gotti retards look like Oxford Scholars.

  4. Joseph S

    What would his Mamma say?????

  5. fester

    Wow, ten grand per inch?

    Ka-ching!

  6. Jen

    show us the cock, vinny. DO IT

  7. Cock Dr

    So this soft, pale, poochy man child is well endowed?
    Well when I look at the face I think that nature owes him something to make up for all the other DNA handicaps.

  8. ZigZagZoey

    He’s ugly as hell and probably is not well endowed, just made it up.
    Of course she thought it was big….She’s a fucking midget troll.

  9. Vinny Guadagnino
    udunome
    Commented on this photo:

    i prefer vinny’s body over all the others, hes also hotter

    • chelsea

      Vinny is chubby. I’m not a big fan of the beefcake look of the steroid-shooting iron pumpers, but I’d take someone who’s in shape over someone whose belly giggles like the Pillsbury Doughboy any day.

    • chelsea

      Just because I prefer guys with tone means I’m chubby? Got it. Drew, it sounds to me like YOU’RE chubby. And angry. You owe me money now, because I’m far from chubby. Kickboxing 4x a week will do that for you!

      And RebelMinion, when have you ever known a female to have erectile dysfunction? Anatomy/physiology, good class, invest in it.

    • Dave Smythe

      Give me a break people.. Vinny is chubby. ‘Take off those rosy colored glasses. Who is the stud in the pic?

      • p00ndawg

        lol thats not you, what a crappy ass photoshop fat bitch.

      • p00ndawg

        either way thanks for the pic, sending it to all your friends now.

        http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1521541108&ref=search

      • chelsea

        Good going p00ndawg, you can say it’s not me all day but it won’t change the fact that it is. I didn’t touch it in photoshop other than to rotate it. My friends already know i’m hot, they won’t care about the picture.

        You must be much, much chubbier than Vinny to be so angry at me. What a shame. :(

      • chelsea

        P.S. Maybe you wouldn’t be so angry if you spent less time stalking people on the internet and more time working out or doing something productive. I find it both creepy and slightly amusing that you were able to find me on Facebook. You’re such an angry little man!

      • chelsea

        Yup, that’s my myspace, and my friend’s myspace, and yes, I had an eating disorder. I have been in recovery for over a year and haven’t struggled with it for a long time. I’m going to a CC to get my gen-ed classes out of the way for less money before transferring to a university (saving money = smart).

        I’m feeling sorry for you, p00ndawg, why are you so obsessed with me?! Get a life of your own, obviously you’re enraged because I called Vinny chubby and because I’m not chubby, I’m actually rather hot. Keep it up, though, I’m having fun guessing what you’re going to dig up next!!

      • derrick "big D"

        lol poondawg your making yourself look like an idiot she is obviously hot and your just pissed you cant get a girl like that and stalking her isnt going to help

      • Mama Maria

        go chelsea!! that shut him up! lol and i like your blog your a good writer!

  10. fester

    My advice to Playgirl is before writing the check demand another appraisal. Don’t take Snooki’s word for it, everything looks big to an Ewok.

  11. lauren

    SO many gratuitous close ups on this site, and you couldn’t afford one for the ladies this time? I’m disappointed, Fish…

  12. McFeely Smackup

    who is the guy with him giving off the aggressively gay vibe?

  13. ..I guess his dick would be considered big to a short fat assed orange midget like HER. It’s probably the ONLY dick she ever got…

  14. Vinny Guadagnino
    chelsea
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this picture says it all. I don’t care how big his penis is, I would never sit on that.

  15. sasha

    Why do these “people” keep lifting their shirts? Nothing to see here people.

  16. bugporn

    Well since Snookie normally hooks up with “Juice Heads” who have shrivveled roid dicks this boy who obviously doesn’t take steroids probably has a bigger one in comparison

  17. Dude

    Does it come complete with all of his STDs? Or are those extra?

  18. Lady Blah Blah

    What if this guy had gotten Snooki pregnant? I don’t think abortion should be legal, I think it should be mandatory.

  19. Tanzarian

    Snooki’s like 2 feet tall, she probably thinks Keebler elves are well endowed.

  20. Burt

    Half of what happens on that show is, like on most “reality shows”, scripted. “Reality shows” are little more than sitcoms. Let me put it this way: I’ll believe they slept together when the tape is leaked on the internet.

  21. Vinny Guadagnino
    browny
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m with Chelsea here. For all you guys out there with the tummy fat going on: lose it or at least put it away. (see above).

    Pilsbury Doughboy look is nasty.

  22. FattyFatty2X4

    Fish…..
    Can I have your Grandma’s phone number?
    Boy, she sounds like fun.

  23. Vinny Guadagnino
    sarah
    Commented on this photo:

    love a bit of belly.. is that weird… ?

    i wouldn’t say no to RAAAAHNIE either though

    hell i just love the cock

  24. captain america

    getoutahere!!
    A BOY WHO IS PREGNANT?
    well, this is only possible in the states.

  25. It probably looked and smelled like a pickle.

  26. Vinny Guadagnino
    Nancy Pelosi
    Commented on this photo:

    I, for one, like the muffin top man.

    Why when girls admit they don’t like fat guys it’s just a matter of preference, but when guys say they don’t like fat broads they are being shallow?

    We’ll lose the guts ladies when you stop strapping the cheeseburgers to your asses.

    • chelsea

      I don’t see any problem with guys preferring toned girls to overweight girls. Fat is just not attractive in general (though some people actually do prefer it), to me it sends a message that a person is lazy and doesn’t take care of themselves.

  27. TAB

    That’s probably about the ONLY thing going for him in his life. Ever. Suprised it didn’t turn orange after he banged the Oompa Lompah.

  28. Vinny Guadagnino
    Angel
    Commented on this photo:

    i dont like fat people. it isnt a gender thing.

    fat is disgusting. fat people are jealous of lean people and i have experienced this forever!

    68% of Americans are FAT ASSES

    no control, weak, and blame us “in shape” people for their eating?
    wtf.

    stay fat, i dont give a fck but enough with the jealous shit, be happy for people that do the hard work it takes to be in shape.

    jackasses.

    • chelsea

      Amen, thank you for having sense

      • steven

        FAT AGGRESSION Much you fat motherf*****’s.. lol Stop hatin on a girl cuz she dont quote “fat people need luv too”.. And to the lame moron who called her picture ‘fake’, Ive had the same accusation before, and iT IS like you stuck your foot in your mouth,..hell my stupid ass girl was so dumb, she said Im either a fake pic, OR if Im real, Im on steroids. lol, okay, the bitch needs glasses, I may be ‘cut N toned’,…BUT ONLY 148 Lbs.., it’s OBVIOUS in my pictures, I DO NOT Juice.. if I did, Id be a ‘Ronny’, if built anywhere NEAr one of the Oompa Loompa shore people, it would have to be ‘Mike’, Minus the ‘Old Man Face’.., an to be honest, def. NOT as defined, just more so than any of you’z fat bastards.. lol

  29. Vinny Guadagnino
    Lindsey
    Commented on this photo:

    He is not chubby!! Vinny is HOT!!

  30. Vinny Guadagnino
    Lindsey
    Commented on this photo:

    Vinny is a total cutie, and he’s NOT chubby. Just bc he doesn’t have a 6 pack doesn’t mean he is big. He doesn’t look big at all. He looks just fine. You saw the way his mother cooks for him all the time, there’s no way I would be able to stay thin either. lol.

  31. jamaican

    hey mon. I’m jamaican mon. i have a bigger cock no problem. The real problem is, i’m black as fuck mon! But don’t worry mon. I fuck tiny little white chicks with pussyholes the size of pinheads everyday, at least it feels like the size of pinheads cuz my jamaican cock is so fucking huge. I’ve only seen a few cocks bigger than my 14 incher and those cocks belongs to a chinese men. They got huge WANGS! Thats why they call cocks WANGS and DONGS and SHWANGS!

  32. suck it

    i’d tap it… he is the nicest one on the show and looks the most normal. And now I know he has a big dick. Perfect.
    I dont think I would buy the dildo though unless it vibrated and rotated too. And even then I would feel silly with a” jersey shore” dildo.

  33. Vinny Guadagnino
    Michael
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW… they should’ve at least BLURRED the Licence plate!

  34. katie

    i wouldn’t say he’s chubby.. he’s pretty cute and he seems like the most decent (and funny) one of all the jersey shore sloths!

  35. Chubby? He’s not a juice head, he’s more pale than a british guy in the middle of winter, his face looks like he needs vocational school, but he’s not chubby.

    He fucked Snookie. That’s it, that’s all, nothing to see here folks that’s all that needs to be said. Fucking snookie, wouldn’t that be a form of beastiality?

  36. Vinny Guadagnino
    Haha
    Commented on this photo:

    Angel,
    do you hate your mom and dad? cuz they’re FAT! lol

  37. Vinny Guadagnino
    Mansk
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof right there of beefed up dudes compensation. Look at the skinny guy, doesnt need huge muscles bc hes packing.

  38. Vinny Guadagnino
    ummm
    Commented on this photo:

    lol yea i’m sure he’s probably very huge compared to all the deca dick “juice heads” she’s slept with…

  39. Vinny Guadagnino
    lisa
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s just gross…he has zero appeal…cover up that gut buddy! I just “barfed a litlle bit in my mouth”…ewwwww…I won’t touch him w/ a ten foot pole…

  40. Vinny Guadagnino
    Sheena Easton
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the hottie next to him??

  41. Buzz Windrip

    PLEASE stop talking about these fuckups. Stop giving them publicity. LET IT DIE.

  42. Vinny Guadagnino
    Nic
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a before and after

  43. Vinny Guadagnino
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    Ronnie

  44. Vinny Guadagnino
    Kate
    Commented on this photo:

    It is funny at how many people think that having no fat on your body is hot.. um well you do need fat to survive and vinny isnt fat trust me if you put him up to someone who is much bigger that has to wear a xxxl shirt he will look tiny and not very guy is going to be riped because it depends on body mass. Vinny is at a healthy size.

    • chelsea

      Having no fat is gross. There is something called “healthy fat” and Vinny has crossed the line, not by an obscene amount but by enough that I think he’s unattractive. It’s not that he’s “fat” but he has no tone, it’s not cute.

  45. Vinny Guadagnino
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    “Before and After” !

    Sometimes the simplest lines work so well. That was hilarious. Good Job Nic.

  46. Vinny Guadagnino
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Also… Same goes for “fucktard”. I guess I’m easy to please.

  47. Vinny Guadagnino
    Joshua
    Commented on this photo:

    Basically, what you’re saying is Chelsea. You’re shallow.

    • chelsea

      Are you joking me? Look at the site we’re on, it’s called The Superficial for a reason. I’m honestly not that shallow, I’ve dated people with bodies worse than Vinny’s, but I PREFER somebody who’s toned. Is that a crime? I can’t really judge Vinny on his personality because I don’t watch Jersey Shore, so what am I supposed to comment on besides his obvious lack of tone? Maybe he’s got a great personality, I don’t know, but that doesn’t make his stomach any flatter.

  48. Vinny Guadagnino
    Tenah
    Commented on this photo:

    You all are cracking me up!!! No Im not fat not skinny either! Just exactally right!!!! With a little work anyone can look good!!! LOL But I Love Vinny he is so sweet!!!

  49. Vinny Guadagnino
    dsb
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m so wondering what the majority of you fugly mofos look like. In the first pic he doesn’t even appear to have a stomach at all. The one’s after he’s hunched over. i know super skinny people that get a belly when they hunch over. So bottom line, would you rather have beefcake, and a tiny penis, or a more natural built dude (who can barely be considered medium built) with a huge cock?!? i’ll take the cock!

  50. Vinny Guadagnino
    Roflcake
    Commented on this photo:

    Lol what a load of shite.

    Look at that dude, ugly as fuck, and because he has a large cock girls suddenly dont care about his ugly ass mug?

    Jesus, Ive never laughed so hard. 90% of women dont give a fuck about dicksize, as long as its large enough to make em come. What woman wants a ugly ass fatass with a big ugly dick? Lmao, dont make me laugh. You bitches are as shallow as us men. We dont NEED big boobs, but it would be nice. But not at the cost of a nice face/ass/rest of the body. Just like women dont NEED huge cocks, it would just be nice if it came with the package. I mean, you can just buy a huge dildo for that, easy…

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