So Snooki Really Is Pregnant

February 29th, 2012 // 56 Comments
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Earlier in the month Snooki denied being pregnant, so of course that turned out to be a crock of shit because she just sold the exclusive to Us Weekly which is probably a good idea considering MTV just dropped a shit ton of money on a show that’s supposed to involve her and JWoww as a couple of sassy roommates trying to make it through this world by drunkenly pissing themselves in public. So basically a learning show. Page Six reports:

But sources tell Page Six that MTV is worried about how to manage the news, given that Polizzi’s hard-partying, booze-swilling ways have just been turned into a “Jersey Shore” spinoff with Jenni “JWoww” Farley, which has begun shooting in New Jersey.
“MTV went into crisis mode after they found out,” said a source. “They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show. ” The untitled new show has just begun taping and focuses on the ladies’ relationship as friends and roommates — and whatever adventures come their way.

Yesterday, Photo Boy posted pics of their first day of filming, and Snooki is pulling the old giant purse to hide the belly trick which makes sense considering she wants to be the next Kourtney Kardashian. Which makes even more sense because, seriously, what else do these kids have to aspire to? “You know, some day, I’d like to be the one getting peed on. Just once…”

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

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  1. RichPort

    Much like Jenna Jameson’s baby daddy, the father of this hobbit half breed likely enjoys stirring the coffee and seeing whether STDs really can be passed to newborns at the time of birth…

  2. Dappy

    Awesome! Reality TV has been needing some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome for ages now. Bring on the low slung ears!

    • Level

      You wonder why the economy is in the shit house, look at who you make wealthy, powerful and famous. Look at who you idolize, look at who your children aspire to be the answers are right there.

    • electricgrl

      Speaking of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, I seem to remember her drinking a giant beer on some talk show with JWOWW a few weeks ago to prove she wasn’t pregnant…? So much for that.

  3. cc

    America, I am sorry. I’ve worked there and traveled there and you’ve always been kind to me. So it saddens me to tell you that you have now crossed the threshold into ‘doomed’.

    • Smapdi

      Always willing to share, America will be dragging the rest of the world down with us. Better start brushing up on the Koran, cc.

  4. “…greatly affect the creative direction of the show.”

    Does anyone else find this sentence hysterically funny and utterly terrifying at the same time?

  5. Coming next year: “Jersey Shore Mom.” Fuck me. Fuck us all.

  6. Cock Dr

    Just don’t watch the shows. Cut off their viewer ratings oxygen…it’s not hard.

  7. Star Droppings

    Conspiracy! Kendra and Kourtney were also supposed to star in “partying” shows for MTV. It’s all part of their evil plan to become TLC with skankier moms.

  8. Look on the bright side – in 20 years her and her FAS baby will have a walk-on role in a Goonies remake.

  9. Snooki Pregnancy Rumor
    Ben Dover
    Commented on this photo:

    Its real hard to tell when a cow is pregnant, how do they know?

  10. EricLr

    Looks like MTV just lost their standard “Give them an open bar tab at the local clubs and just let the cameras roll” tactic.

  11. This thing’s gonna be big… Bigger than Jessica Simpson!!!

  12. Plurp

    I’m going to bet the “creative direction” of this show will be snookie eating a bunch of RU-486 and aborting the kid while doing Jaeger Bombs at duh club. Planned Parenthood will sponsor the episode, and public high school kids will have to watch the episode as part of their “health” class. MTV will also tie in the Rock The Vote program stating that the ewoks reproductive freedom to spatter her fetus on the dance floor is under attack by evil rethuglicans which is why obama deserves to be president fo’ lyfe, yo!

  13. Man

    Creative direction? But that’s only for shows that are scripted……oh wait.

  14. pretty vacant

    if i was snooki’s baby i would jump ship now before the alcohol starts drowning my baby brain.

  15. Jimbo

    What I want to know is how did anyone get enough traction in that gaping hole to get off? That snatch has got to be bigger than the Carlsbad Caverns…

  16. El Jefe

    And this folks is how chupacabras are created.

  17. Kiroux

    Clearly no-one was brave enough to kill it before it lays eggs – now we’re all doomed.

  18. Poop head

    The WHO dropped the ball by not having her sterilized.

  19. forrest

    C’mon: LET’S HATE HER FOR THAT, folks!!

    • Frank Burns

      FFS forrest, just for once . . no matter what it takes (hiring a writer, asking a funny friend, even plagiarism) – say something funny here. Even mildly humorous, in a “Reader’s Digest” kind of way will do. And stop saying ‘folks’.

  20. GeneralEmergency

    Somewhere out there… is a very ashamed (and possibly infected) penis.

  21. Now that’s Italian!

  22. KV

    Ok, so the sayings were all true … Doomsday arising by the end of this year. Brace yourselfs to be swallowed up by the monster baby.

  23. The Freakin' Pope

    I make the exception on abortion for this one. Everybody else, keepa makin the babies.

    • KV

      Everybody else ?? Really ??? So you actually want the rest of the Jersey Shore cast or the Kardashians to procreate more satanic offsprings ??

  24. Archie_Leach

    Whenever I inadvertently run across the jersey shore “shows” I realize, as I watch those jersey shore “shows”, what an auteur Michael Bay is and what masterpieces the Transformers movies are.

  25. Motorboat Captain

    And I looked, and behold a fat horse: and his name that sat on her was Spraytan, and Fart followed with her. And power was given unto them over the Jersey part of the earth, to eat lots of pickles and piss on the street and troll the beach for roided-up Valtrex addicts.

  26. Anybody do the math yet to see if the due date is 12/24/12?

  27. mel

    can you imagine how absolutely putrid her farts must be NOW?! she’s always looked to me like her gas could turn a dude’s face inside out, but now that she’s farting for 2? good god! both she and dung kardashian are way more at fault for our melting ozone than a million cows in brazil. fuck me! i guarantee that they both have a live-in painter on hand to repaint their bathroom walls everyday after they’ve eject their morning BMs.

  28. Snooki Pregnancy Rumor
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    My Oh My I wonder who’s baby it belongs too!!!!

  29. Snooki Pregnancy Rumor
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Just what did you say????
    No it’s not your baby or your baby, you both shot in my mouth, hellooooooooo

  30. Snooki Pregnancy Rumor JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    When the creators of South Park named their J. Lo episode “Fat Butt and Pancake Head,” they never realized that that title would be an inspiration for a whole different series.

  31. Blech

    OH man! I can’t wait to watch her as a guest on a very special episode of the Maury Povich show.

  32. Interred Ferguson

    Wasn’t “Jerkey Shore” proof enough that she needed mandatory sterilization?? A SnookiSpawn is a sure sign of the apocalypse.

  33. Snooki Pregnancy Rumor
    Commented on this photo:

    It is terrible that someone willingly ejaculated into that. Or maybe it wasn’t willingly. Maybe dude suddenly realized that he was about to do a bad bad thing, but by then she had deployed her tentacles and begun digestion, and so would not be denied.

  34. Itstheend

    This is soo sad she is young, unwed, and not fully secure.I liked snooki she was young and just having fun, I thought she would be smater and use protection birth control,condoms anything…aah maybe having this baby will let her see reality as is raising a baby is not easy good luck hun…..ur life is officially OVER

  35. Dee

    I’ve seen parts of the reality show while channel surfing. They are boring and I don’t understand why they are still on the air. My friends are more entertaining sober, buzzed, or drunk. I suspect the show will not last now that Snookie can’t get drunk and make a fool out of herself.

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