Snoop Dogg Is ‘Snoop Lion’ Now. No, Really.

August 1st, 2012 // 36 Comments
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Yesterday, when I first caught wind of this Snoop Lion business, I wrote it off as Snoop Dogg saying a bunch of crazy shit because his body’s 80% hemp now. So allow me to change that to, Holy fuck he’s actually serious, plus all that stuff I said about hemp. Anyway, here’s Snoop announcing he’s a lion now AND Bob Marley incarnate – who died when Snoop was 11, just FYI – which is why he’s quitting rap to make family-friendly reggae. (Side Note: How good is the weed in Jamaica? Good enough to make everything you’re about to read happen.) Via NY Daily News:

Rastafarian priests bestowed the new moniker Snoop Lion upon the music icon when he visited Jamaica in search of “a new path.”
“I didn’t know that until I went to the temple, where the High Priest asked me what my name was, and I said, ‘Snoop Dogg.’ And he looked me in my eyes and said, ‘No more. You are the light; you are the lion.’ From that moment on, it’s like I had started to understand why I was there,” he explained at a press conference.
Born Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr., Lion has always felt a special connection with Jamaica’s most celebrated music legend, according to news.com.au. “I have always said I was Bob Marley reincarnated,” Lion said. “I feel I have always been a Rastafari. I just didn’t have my third eye open, but it’s wide open right now.”

And if there’s one thing lions know how to do, it’s lead the pack. And hunt down gazelles with its teeth which I would literally pay to watch Snoop Lion do. Who do I talk to about that?

While in the studio, he distanced himself from his musical past by referring to Snoop Dogg in the third person. “Fuck Snoop Dogg. Don’t think about none of the shit he rapped about: hustling and making money and drug-dealing and shooting. All that shit’ll be out of here,” he said to his collaborators in the studio.
With reggae, Lion has the chance to create music that all ages can enjoy – from children to his grandparents, who might not have been able to enjoy his harder-edged rap catalogue.

You know how you have that annoying friend who’s always like, “Dude, weed is like a miracle drug, it cures everything. Little kids should smoke it for breakfast.” Please tell them there’s now scientific proof that shit eats your brain out and spits it out in the shape of lion because I’ve seen people on bath salts make more sense. At least when they eat my face, I know it’s because their hunger is chemically amplified and not because they think they’re Bob Marley’s lion spirit reincarnated in black Willie Nelson. Even Tom Cruise saw this and went, “Come again?” but that was mostly to his pool boy, so I don’t know why I brought it up.

Photo: Getty

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  1. Crissy

    Sure, because I’m gonna trust a “High” Priest to give me a different name!…

  2. I would have gone with P. Snoopy

  3. WOW! All that ganja has gone straight to his head, what the fuck Lion?

  4. Johnny P!

    What… he smoked a fattie and upgraded his O/S?

  5. Smoke Doobie Doob

  6. kimmykimkim

    Oh good! Because that’s not stupid at all!

  7. mrsmass

    this clown jumped the shark a long time ago.

  8. Hugh Jazz

    He should have went with Snoop Mountain Lion and scored an Apple Endorsement deal.

  9. fuckityfuck

    he be jammin

  10. I don’t want to see Snoop’s “third eye” open!

    • Monsignor Nelson

      ” I just didn’t have my third eye open.”
      Was it brown?
      Did the High Priest open it for you?
      Was the High Priest Catholic?

  11. alex

    Does anyone know where the first name come from? Was he a big peanuts fan or something?

  12. Cock Dr

    This chick’s he’s with up above isn’t to the usual standards of physical beauty, but I sense a deeper connection.

    • phffft...

      Doc, I think he’s trying to throw ‘the shocker’ but he’s to f’d up get it all together…

      D

  13. I was looking for something on Snoop’s Wikipedia page—namely, if he was married, so I could joke about his marrying fellow Rasta Sinéad O’Connor and giving her the difficult brown—and I found this:

    On May 21, 2004, he filed for divorce from Shante, citing irreconcilable differences. The couple renewed their wedding vows on January 12, 2008.. . . In 2002, the rapper announced he was giving up marijuana, one of his image trademarks, for good.. . . In 2009, it was revealed that Snoop Dogg was a member of the Nation of Islam…but he declined to give the date on which he joined.

    Basically, this is Snoop over the last few years:

    “I was going to get divorced, but I decided not to instead.”
    “I said I was giving up pot, but you know that never happened. (Was I high when I said that?)”
    “I said I was in the Nation of Islam, but I couldn’t tell you since when, and oh, I’m a Rastafarian now.”

    So yeah, this “I’m giving up gangsta rap” is all bullshit. Sure, he’s got a Reggae album coming out, but this is just a phase, like when Larry Flynt went all born-again Christian for a year. He’ll go back to hip-hop and then get all excited about something else—maybe becoming an astronaut. It’s like he’s eight.

    • Johnny P!

      Well done on the research, Tom!
      “It’s like he’s eight”.
      Yeah, eight on a Saturday morning Cocoa-Puffs/Cartoons/Pop-Tarts chocolate milk sugar high…

    • mrsmass

      you left off where he’s been arrested for possession of marijuana 50 times since he said he was giving it up.

    • thespiral

      I’m going to go ahead and blame excessive marijuana usage for all of this.

      I have a friend who smokes like 20 times a day and the symptoms are exactly the same: grandiose sense of self-importance paired with a total inability to pick any one life path and stick with it.

  14. Yuuuuup

    The weed in Jamaica actually sucks.

  15. CK

    “Lionnystyle” just sounds retarded.

  16. The Royal Penis

    I know my “third eye” is only open when I’m peeing or ejaculating. He’s certainly reached a higher plane.

    • I’m pretty sure he reached that “higher plane” eight years ago.

      [img]http://www.plane-land.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Soul-Plane-Cast5.jpg[/img]

  17. Tigerlily

    Snooop Lionyyyyy Liiiiiiiiion…meow meow meow yipee yo yipee yay meow meow yipee yo yipee yay

  18. Secret77

    Jacob Miller said it best, “Too much commercialization of RastaFari”

  19. Nmenth

    So Snoop has finally revealed himself as a Lannister, I knew it.

  20. bob

    so he’s bob marley reincarnated even though he was born 10 years before marley died? keep smoking you potheads lol

  21. El Jefe

    Sigh….

    /facepalm

  22. nasir

    lol! i had heard about the whole “snoop lion” deal and that’s one thing…but that he’s the reincarnation of bob marley? that’s just garbage. there is not enough weed in the world…
    as someone else pointed out, the weed in jamaica is dirt weed, as it grows in abundance and is not cultivated to higher concentrations as you might see elsewhere, e.g. in the us.
    where is this supposed “scientific proof that shit eats your brain out and spits it out in the shape of lion?” i know it’s always been advocates’ argument that there is no such proof…
    the high priest he was talking to was probably just illuminati

  23. Sweet! Imma add it to my collection of names. Stick it right between ‘Puffy Daddy’ and ‘Artist Who Was Formerly Known As Prince’.

  24. your move, Charlie Sheen.

  25. main-man

    someone is about to be bound with chains……I see it coming…….but may it not be snoop…..all the same his friends should expect something of that nature……………weed at work.

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