Seen here spraying her Ewok juices all over our nation’s proud naval tradition, Snooki and JWoww apparently have a spin-off in the works that continues the successful Jersey Shore theme of, “Everyone on this show is fucking retarded and a horrible blight upon society.” Which now that I think about it, also applies to Teen Mom. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, I guess. TMZ reports:
According to the documents, obtained by TMZ, one of the big scenes takes place inside of a Jersey bank, when Papa Snooki tries to teach the 23-year-old how to fill out a check book.
When Snooki … who’s reportedly banking $30k per ep … finally opens her first checking account — she asks the banker, “Do you have any blinged out checks?”
The rundown explains, “She gets a crash course in balancing her checkbook … but adding and subtracting from the ledger proves too much for her.”
Other Things That Prove Too Much For Snooki:
Operating a Motor Vehicle (Admittedly, this is more of a height issue.)
Food Preparation More Complex Than Opening a Jar of Pickles
Texting (Tiny hands.)
Not Having Skin Cancer
Pretty sure I hit all the bases up there but I’m sure you guys will come up with more, 80% of which will involve AIDS. Which is why I’ve always considered this something of an intellectual community. Like Mensa or some shit.