Snooki is single

April 19th, 2010 // 73 Comments

Snooki apparently ditched the only man willing to have sex with her sober, according to TMZ:

We’re told the “Jersey Shore” cutie believes her formerly favorite guido was cheating on her.

In this guy’s defense, he probably thought that leather ottoman was Snooki. Talk about an honest mistake and I’m sure he didn’t mean it when he said, “At least the ottoman’s vagina doesn’t smell like tanned Jager and dwarf anus.” It was the heat of the moment.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. jason

    First bitches.

  2. xylus

    Damn that thing is hideous…

  3. I could literally not care ANY less about Snooki, even if I tried super duper hard. She needs to go the hell away.

  4. Dan Fouts

    You know you would hit that fag. Why are you always playing?

  5. frankw

    Lump.

  6. i want to pound her little hole.

  7. Willie Dixon

    I just can’t believe how short she is. And tan. In New Jersey. Check the perspective on the cars around her.

    She’ll look like a California Raisin when she’s 40.

  8. nyarlaMOEtep

    when she’s not making some dumb face, or hamming it up for the camera, or relishing the fact that she’s a young, dumb, drunk slut, i think she’s sorta cute. but even then, when she starts talking, ho-leeeeee shit…

    there’s no hope. other than age and (ideally) the bullshitless self-appraisal and wisdom that comes with it…

  9. will

    That is one short, ugly, pudgy little twat.

  10. antparty

    Before I would bed down Snooki, I would jerk off in front of my mom.

  11. God damn you superficial writer! I had just managed to rid my burned retinas of the last image of this Snooki beast that you posted.

    Now I am straight as hell but this foul animal makes me want to turn gay. And by turning gay I mean all of the time, not just when I jerk off. I always only liked my gayness when I had my cock in my hand but Snooki is changing things for me. I will never put another mans cock in my mouth or ass but I am getting close.

    Just to prove how close I am to turning gay I tried to jerk off to a picture of Snooki and I couldn’t even get a chubby. Even with some good porn on in another window. Maybe being at the library had something to do with it but it never stopped me before.

    I am going to hold the superficial responsible if I ever wake up with a cock in one of my orifices.

    Later,

    Mitch

  12. Sithblue

    I want to hit her with a hammer caz she will short circuit my lightsaber

  13. Snooki

    Oink,oink.oink.
    Ugly little piggy.
    Squeeeeeeeal.

  14. jubjub

    That hambeast looks like she should be cleaning rooms at a Motel 6.

  15. Snooki

    Love #9 & #10

  16. gen

    @11

    You’re gay. It’s okay, it’s the 21st century. Nobody cares anymore.

  17. Jon

    That chubby little hideous bitch is single?

    What a shock.

    Never watched this BS crap Jersey Shore. Thank feck for that, cause I bet this bitch has a mouth on her as well.

  18. rickardo

    who.fucking.cares.

  19. Arkady N. Shevchenko

    Tip for ya Fish…

    People we are interested in reading about – top models, famous musicians and A-list celebs.

    People nobody gives a fuck about (cept you apparently) Snooki, Heidi Spencer (and her retard side-kick), Octo-mom, the Gosselin’s, all the whores who fucked celebs, and Michael Lohan.

    Seriously no one would pay any attention to those fuckwads if you would stop trying to make them a celebrity.

    Wanna know why morons like them get payed 50 grand to go to a bar? Cuz you report on them!

  20. pimp

    i’d dry fuck her fat ass…

  21. juck

    She looks like a Fat Lil Wayne in pic #1

  22. ak

    Looks like she’s had too much gelato. What a cute little piggy.

  23. clean my room?

    ugly Mexican.

  24. jim mcgreevey

    this cunt makes me puke.

  25. duh patrol

    #19 Yeah, that’s why those threads go into 80+ comments, because no one cares. People hate them, you knob, get a clue. The Fish doesn’t make them famous, it’s reality TV, the paps and morons with nothing to do but check them out on Facebook that do that. The Fish doesn’t have its own pap out there so if they get “payed” anything to go to a bar, speak to the fucking bar because the Fish didn’t do that either. Snooki isn’t worth 50 cents and neither is Lindsay Lohan but she’s the one who gets paid for personal appearances. Go figure.

  26. chick

    This is one woman that would look better in a burqa

  27. LaPetiteFrancoiseDuQuartier

    I don’t know who she is and I think that she is not attractive at all, but I guess she has something good because it seems that she is famous.

    • Jeremy

      She has somethinggood? What the hell are you talking about 98% of the most untalented retarded people are famous. Special?? No dear, it’s called connections. You can be Charlie Sheen, and famouse, and he’s a big loser.

  28. john Schmitz

    Snookie is a fat, dumpy, ugly pig. A keg with legs LOL

  29. Arkady N. Shevchenko

    @25 80 plus comments doesnt equal interest you fuckstick… read the comments, it’s nothing but people calling her a fat stupid ugly whore (which is what she is) but that doesnt mean people are intrigued by this retard.

    As well you say Fish doesnt have his own paparazzi,,, which is true, but he does create a demand for material on these tools. It’s a vicious cycle… he posts this shit, people (lots of people) bitch about what a fuckn tool she and people like you (and the paparazzi) equate that with interest/demand.

    All I;m saying is 90% of the stuff posted on this site is class… Fish is brilliant and funny and his blog style is very entertaining…. just needs to stop giving credence to people who are supposedly famous cuz they let a rapper take a shit on them.

  30. KeeoNizzle

    She looks like Danny Devito in drag. I’m sure the lollipop guild revoked her membership for being frikk ass scary. Watch out for her shriek after hours at the club.

  31. Focus on POSITIVE things LOA

    Make a REAL wish!

    http://www.real-wishes.com

    8,888 wishes granted, after that, no more wishes will b granted..

    ~*Believe*~

  32. Clamhammer

    I wouldn’t fuck that with a stolen dick.

  33. turd da third

    soooooooooooooooooo-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    if it looks like a pig, smells like a pig, acts like a pig, fucks like a pig, well, it must be ……..

  34. Campfire

    looks like a troll, and where the hell is that girls upper lip?

  35. Naomi

    She should invest in some Skechers Shape-ups, lol.

  36. WiWo

    Oompa…Loompa…Oompadee Dee……………………

  37. In a discourse she said a pair of hours later, he professed to “Feel amazing” after a trip to the sauna that “hit the spottt,” and said he was “thinkin road trip” this weekend.

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  39. Girl

    Um when I first scrolled down I thought this was a picture of a chubby child. (outfit, ridiculous braids, goofy purse, 4’09, huge gut)
    S L O B.

  40. missfortune

    Oompa Loompas:
    Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
    I’ve got another puzzle for you
    Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
    If you are wise you’ll listen to me

    What do you get from a glut of TV?
    A pain in the neck and an IQ of three
    Why don’t you try simply reading a book?
    Or could you just not bear to look?

    You’ll get no
    You’ll get no
    You’ll get no
    You’ll get no
    You’ll get no commercials

    Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah
    If you’re not greedy you will go far
    You will live in happiness too
    Like the Oompa
    Oompa Loompa doompadee do

  41. Just Cause

    I see an Oompa Loompa managed to escape Wonka’s factory and assimilate itself into society.

  42. captain america

    hopefully she will die as one!!

  43. dUdE

    @32

    You steal dicks?!

    QUEER!

  44. HackSaw

    I’d hit it.

  45. OTP

    I had no idea she was a midget, or that fat…

  46. obz

    all you need is a leash, its either an overfed pug, or a saggy pig. either way she should be at the pound.

    cans someone spack her in the face again. that video is far better than these pics

  47. CrackYomommasBack

    WHO THE FUCK IS THIS MIDGET????

    SHE LOOKS LIKE AN OOMPA LOOMPA BUT I AM SURE ITS ALREADY BEEN SAID! FUCK THESE STUPID CELEBS::::::::WE ARE WAITING FOR UR SEX TAPES IDIOTS!!!!!!!

  48. cc

    “Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down.”

  49. cellphone

    Her mouth resembles the pink side of a tropical seashell .

  50. bimbamboing

    I haven’t seen before a rolled up chin.

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