Snooki is single
Snooki apparently ditched the only man willing to have sex with her sober, according to TMZ:
We’re told the “Jersey Shore” cutie believes her formerly favorite guido was cheating on her.
In this guy’s defense, he probably thought that leather ottoman was Snooki. Talk about an honest mistake and I’m sure he didn’t mean it when he said, “At least the ottoman’s vagina doesn’t smell like tanned Jager and dwarf anus.” It was the heat of the moment.