Snooki helps a car dealership exploit Haiti

January 21st, 2010 // 60 Comments

Because she’ll appear anywhere for money and/or a Solo cup full of rohypnol-laced gin, Jersey Shore’s Snooki is helping an Easton, Pa. car dealership supposedly raise money for Haiti on Saturday in probably the shadiest fundraiser I’ve ever seen. Via PRLog:

‘Snooki’ will be signing autographs and taking pictures with fans during this time in an attempt to help the dealership raise funds for Haitian relief efforts.
According to Star Car Sales Manager Eric Watson, “The dealership will donate $100 per every car sold on Saturday to provide much needed supplies and relief to the people in Haiti. We are thrilled to have ‘Snooki’ visiting the dealership to raise awareness for the cause and attract new buyers so we can offer more aid to the Haitian people”.

Items conveniently left out of the press release:

1. How much they paid to have the troll from Ernest Scared Stupid move some inventory instead of giving that cash straight to relief efforts. (Going rate is $10,000 for these kids because God obviously want us to kill ourselves over the decline of civilization.)
2. How much Tan Danny DeVito is going to charge 16-year-old girls for autographs and such wisdom as what thongs to wear so guys can bang you in clubs more easily.

And most importantly:

3. Precautionary measures for the surrounding community should Snooki go into heat and start “presenting.” (Anything less than a tank unit and you’re fucking kidding yourselves.)

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Nikki

    Good luck selling cars to a crowd of 14 year old girls.

  2. cc

    Everyone who attends will have their names entered into a contest to punch her in the face.

  3. DCLeisurist

    I’d hit it. (In the face. Zing!)

  4. mer

    What the hell is that?

  5. da darkness

    this is nothing… oh muy how’d she stay letting mtv put her worst out there. she gotta start over. oops lifes not a game.

  6. jobob

    Italian my ass! This chick is Lebanese.

  7. Cap'n Ahab

    I’m assuming these are used cars.

  8. Libz

    @7
    ROFL

  9. Taz

    She is looking for a guy like this. Guido: A sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area.

  10. Nadia

    Can she PLEASE stop dragging that old Coach purse everywhere? Jesus. Coach doesn’t cancel out Skankiness..

  11. pimp

    i’m embarrassed to be a human and ashamed to be an american when worthless fucks like this are supposedly famous in this country! i wouldn’t give this bitch the time of day unless it was 2 A.M. and i had $200 worth of booze in my gut and 2 packs of cigs in my lungs, then i’d eat her ass…just keepin it real…

  12. Sam

    That’s not “Beach Glow” that’s Billy Mays quality Orange Glow, baby.

  13. Sam

    That’s not “Beach Glow” that’s Billy Mays quality Orange Glow, baby.

  14. SO RIGHT

    Snookie is actually fat for being so darn short. Seriously, drop 10 pounds, stop the tanning and darken the lipstick just a tad.

  15. Georgeo

    Can you stop giving this skag publicity?

  16. Is she still sticking to that “I’m 98 pounds” story?

    If so, I call shenanigans.

  17. Dramz

    Youd think with application of circus makeup she would have bothered to get a manicure. Those chipped black nails speak volumes.

  18. Ted

    So MTV must have a contract with this site – first there are all those unwanted “stories” about Heidi and Spencer, and now there is this…thing. Although it did help to remind me to change the oil in the car.

  19. Rod

    First I’d start with some sweet kisses on her tender cheek. Then start grazing my fingertips softly against her bosom, followed by nuzzling quivering mouth up to her pouty lips, right before I blew some rusty skunk all over her yogurt cups!

  20. dubba

    i will point out that $100 per car is a piss poor amount

    if her appearance tag is $10k then they would need to sell 100 cars just to break even on that… they should just put 10k to the efforts

    and you know thye will raise the price of every car $250 to pocket $150 over the donation

    i would say put 1k per car out, and ditch the slag… then ill be impressed

  21. saywhat

    you’re all just jealuse. Most of you would do the same thing to get your picture on the media and get money, why are you even waisting your time on this site otherwise. we’re just a bunch of crabs in a bucket and haters too.

  22. fallenbunny

    I have never seen a single episode of Jersey Shore and I am already so effing sick of this damn girl….she is so fugggly and annoying and damn stupid. Her face expressions alone make me wanna deck her square in the mouth. I wonder how she looks w/out that damn weird poof, less makeup, less tan, decent clothes, and for godssakes, w/out that damn SMIRK. I bet she’d look somewhat decent and wayyyy less annoying. I wish her 15 min were up!

  23. K

    Ironically my guido ex boyfriend lives in Easton.

  24. ROTFLMMFAO TWICE!

    I wondered if anyone has ever told this thing that its hairstyle is the f-in sh!t. I know those other donkeys in its stable are hella jealous.

  25. cavediver

    She’ a fat, ugly nobody. If she claims to be 98# she neglected to say the 100 in front of it. Jeez people the supreme court just let up on the restrictions on corp. & union donations to politicians and your worried about this cow

  26. Nameless

    Wait….hold everything …..Snooki has fans? That’s a joke right? You sure it’s not a bunch of guys showing up all claiming to be there for the gangbang?

  27. kimberly

    @saywhat — nice spelling ability. your genuine intellect puts regular deep thinkers to shame.

  28. Quinn

    who the f@ck is that ho? she looks SO Raven

  29. who the hell is snooki and why does it look like a cave troll from lord of the rings

    has the usa actually stooped to these levels?

  30. Dr. Phil

    Poor Amy Winehouse. Rehab is great, don’t get me wrong, it can save your life if you’re a serious rock-bottom addict, but still, when the girls get sober they gain so much weight…

  31. #6, Close but no cigar. She’s Chilean, from Chile, her parents adopted her as an infant. Such a relief to Italian people, I know. Italians don’t change their personalities when they drink, usually, but Indigenous people, whether Alaskan or South American cannot handle the booze, can’t metabolize it. That was the 1st give away that she is not really Caucasian. She drinks like an Indian!

  32. BTW, she loves that actor Paul Walker and he is white white. Blue eyes, the blond hair. German/Irish. She doesn’t like guidos. They aren’t “white” enough for her.

  33. Rowdy

    I live in Easton so thanks for the warning.

  34. eddy

    I figured it out.

    Are you getting paid to write about this girl Is *she* paying you? is the reality network? Please tell me there are no real reasons she’s newsworthy.

  35. chupacabra

    Jon Gosselin will be there too, (zing!)

  36. Robot

    @7 LOL
    ALSO SHE HAS FANS!?! HOLY SHIT!

  37. Chester

    Could someone please tell me what kind of world we’re living in where a slug like this is a celebrity? I mean, c’mon people, she got lucky by being cast in yet another mind-numbing MTV reality show, how does that qualify someone to be a celebrity?!?!? She is a moron, plain and simple. She has no brains, no class and nothing going for her at all. Please, let’s just put all this Snooki ugliness behind us and focus on real celebrities! Why glorify ignorance?

  38. havoc

    #37 pretty much nailed it.

    I have nothing to add at this point…..

    .

  39. cc

    “who the hell is snooki and why does it look like a cave troll from lord of the rings
    has the usa actually stooped to these levels? ”

    yes

  40. Why answered for #37

    Because the sacred folk who own the media are continuing to dumb us down. They own the Fed Res, all the banks, media you name it. They laugh at our stupidity and their sense of humor is not the same as a European’s.
    Vulgar shit.

  41. RebelMinion

    Who the hell is this thing and what in Gods name is she hiding in the rats nest on the top of her mis-shapen head?

  42. GodIhateMTV

    Leave it to MTV and these dumb wops to take advantage of a tragedy. Maybe the next Jersey Shore can feature one of the ‘roided-up wops beating the shit out of a Haitian, you know, to publicize Haiti’s plight.

  43. footclan

    I’ve seen a little of Jersey Shore and it is fucking retarded. You would think if they could see the way they act they might sit back and think, “Wait, I act like a cunt scab.” But they don’t and they’re happy with the image they present to everybody no mater how infuriating it is.

    And fans? Wow.

  44. Anon

    Well, jeeze. That’s just plain insulting to poor Danny DeVito.

  45. Snooki's a STAR!!!

    Shouldn’t we be supporting trampy girls with implants?

    I’d like to encourage more fo that behavior.

  46. I call 'em as I see 'em

    Damn #4, that’s what I was gonna say…
    But no, seriously, what the @#$*&%%$#@ IS that?

  47. Kablamo

    You watch the show. You watch it because Jersey Shore is a train wreck. You watch it because the cast acts the way you wish you had the kahunas to act but you don’t because the ‘roided up Guidos would kick sand in your face. Yes she is a two bit ho and doesn’t deserve the attention she is receiving but you have nowhere else to look but in the mirror. If no one watched the show it would be off the air already. Britney Spears has more class than Snooki, that’s saying something.

  48. J

    Fat. Talentless. Whore.
    Where exactly but reality TV can you
    take all those attributes and make a living?
    Not to mention: stupid, forgettable and gross.
    This dopey bitch will be the punchline (haha) to
    late night comedians jokes for a few weeks and then what?

  49. Anglo

    “roided up Guidos”, How very frightening. Have them come down to the south and try kicking sand in a redneck’s face. We don’t need the roids and we have the kahunas too only we call them “balls” in English. We just don’t grab them in public like Guidos do all the time.

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