Because she’ll appear anywhere for money and/or a Solo cup full of rohypnol-laced gin, Jersey Shore’s Snooki is helping an Easton, Pa. car dealership supposedly raise money for Haiti on Saturday in probably the shadiest fundraiser I’ve ever seen. Via PRLog:
‘Snooki’ will be signing autographs and taking pictures with fans during this time in an attempt to help the dealership raise funds for Haitian relief efforts.
According to Star Car Sales Manager Eric Watson, “The dealership will donate $100 per every car sold on Saturday to provide much needed supplies and relief to the people in Haiti. We are thrilled to have ‘Snooki’ visiting the dealership to raise awareness for the cause and attract new buyers so we can offer more aid to the Haitian people”.
Items conveniently left out of the press release:
1. How much they paid to have the troll from Ernest Scared Stupid move some inventory instead of giving that cash straight to relief efforts. (Going rate is $10,000 for these kids because God obviously want us to kill ourselves over the decline of civilization.)
2. How much Tan Danny DeVito is going to charge 16-year-old girls for autographs and such wisdom as what thongs to wear so guys can bang you in clubs more easily.
And most importantly:
3. Precautionary measures for the surrounding community should Snooki go into heat and start “presenting.” (Anything less than a tank unit and you’re fucking kidding yourselves.)