Snooki and Paris are friends now. Oh, good.

June 8th, 2010 // 82 Comments

Because MTV is nothing but a dumb-pipe for Armageddon, Paris Hilton has apparently befriended Snooki after the two met at Sunday’s Movie Awards. Us Magazine reports:

“I was just giving her advice,” she said. “I just told her to remain the same sweet girl [she is] and not let anything affect her; be strong and don’t pay attention to bad press. People can say mean things about you, but you should know who you are and not pay attention to it.”
If she comes back to LA, will Hilton show her the club ropes?
“Definitely!” she told Us.

Considering these kids are being consistently pumped full of free Valtrex, it actually makes perfect sense for Paris to start hanging out with Snooki from a convenience standpoint.

PARIS: Oh, God, I’m having a flare up.
SNOOKI: *tilts head back, pulls Valtrex out of her neck* Here ya go.
PARIS: I am so glad I put you on a leash. Now who wants a belly rub? Aw, yes, you’re a good little piggy.
SNOOKI: Oink-oink, oink-oink.

Photos: Getty, WireImage
superficial

  1. The Mascot

    I’d buttfuck me some Snooki.

  2. joho777

    Oink-oink, oink-oink!

    Superficial has Snooki down cold

  3. tessa

    *tilts head back, pulls Valtrex out of her neck* LOL. Perfect.

  4. Deacon Jones

    My face just melted onto my keyboard like the Nazi’s in Indiana Jones.

  5. Just Some Guy

    #1 And that’s why you’re disgusting.

  6. Captain

    I thought Paris already had a dog.

  7. “Hi, cunt! I’m Paris.”
    “Oh, hi cunt! I’m Snookie.”
    “Can we be BFF?”
    “Sure, everyone hates us, we’re slutty, diseased pigs, why not?”

  8. I call this portrait “two douche bags waiting to interview Slayer”.

    @Captain…hahaha…well done.

  9. me

    Personally, I think you’re giving paris too much credit for being smart enough to know what sound a pig makes without a “See ‘n’ Say” in her hands.

  10. jubjub

    That Jersey Shore pig actually looks pretty good in picture number 4. I think I would actually hit that.

  11. Sheena Queen of the Jugs

    Isn’t Paris almost 30 years old? Seriously, when does the party girl thing wear off? I am sooooo ready for her to become permanently irrelevant.

    Stupid cunt mentoring stupider cunt… God help us all.

  12. Mark B

    Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant for the ewok picture!! lol

  13. Laura

    How freakin’ tall is Nicky Hilton?!

  14. Veronica

    repellent? illiterate? scabby?

    well done! here’s national fame.

    yeeech.

  15. Darth

    Luckily we’d know better ofcourse.But that Snooki-creature looks like the sweetest pet in the world.

  16. lol

    Haaha i think this post was the best one in awhile!!! LMAO

    “PARIS: I am so glad I put you on a leash. Now who wants a belly rub? Aw, yes, you’re a good little piggy.”

    Paris Hilton acquires yet ANOTHER pet….exotic pot belly piggie”

    I thought she already had one though?

  17. big fat bob

    let see some scissors ladies … wouldn’t that be a site for sore eyes.
    baha ha ha.

  18. Wow as a society we are desperate to even give these two dodos any time of the day.

  19. JC

    Paris’ lazy eye is out of control! She looks retarded when she poses side ways!

  20. Beeotch

    Wooki and Wonk Eye Strike Back!

  21. hater

    ewoks are cute. snoo-fucking-ki is not. how dare you!

  22. slappymagoo

    When they started rubbing up against each other, I’m half-surprised the resultant mixture of their body chemistry didn’t eat a hole in the red carpet and into the pavement beneath, Alien-style. Like ammonia and bleach, if you could “catch” ammonia and bleach from gobs of unprotected sex.

  23. beetee

    did anyone notice the oil spill hit when they were in FL? Im just sayin…greezy bastards

  24. beetee

    oh shit that is snookie…….I thought it was DeVito in drag….

  25. bar room hero

    Goofy looking slag…

  26. goes to show you can’t class up dogshit by putting it next to the communal bike.

  27. Rican

    First!!

    Yeah fuck you too. May Snooki squirt on you.

  28. dani

    brb, puking.

  29. Eggy

    KILL IT WITH FIRE

  30. Lisa

    Maybe they can share Valtrex.

  31. Jimmy

    Send in the hazmat team and CDC – herpes is going to explode in that compound so greatly, there will be a new version that’s totally airborne and virally toxic!

  32. Eewwww

    If you had a threesome with these two it’d be . . . awesome. Long, bony and blonde on the one hand, short, round and greasy on the other. You could probably use Paris as a sex toy on The Snooki.

  33. Jen

    awesome post and awesome comments.

  34. SoCal

    I agree with #1, but I’d amend the sentiment to include Paris and Nicky in the deal. Three rounds of jolly buttfucking, hell yeah!!!

  35. The Matrix

    Yuck

  36. Reg Dunlop

    So when does Snookie file assault charges on Paris for rubbing her fire crotch against her?

  37. shine

    since when is nicki hilton like 8 feet tall?

  38. Gando

    Looks like Snooki is the hidden dark half of Paris Hilton and crawled out of her.

  39. Rhialto

    Look up woman! That’s your daughter now!

  40. cellphone

    Paris Hilton being Snooki’s mom=Armageddon.

  41. mancuso

    Those dildos they’re holding are like totally anatomically WRONG! And I’d scratch the Snook’s ears on pic #4.

  42. hateyoufornoreason

    How tall is Snookie anyway? 3, 3 1/2 feet tall? She should have married Gary Coleman when she had the chance.

  43. jen

    paris hanging out with snooki for fame. LMAO

  44. Awyeah

    Snooki’s hotter! hahahahahaja

  45. Randals's Rectum

    Wonder twin powers, activate!

    Worked! Look at those two luscious ladys!

    Randal’s Rectum

  46. Jon

    Wow that is one ugly midget.

    lol she really is a bushpig. Fug.

  47. l

    some funny shit.

    i like Fish’s sick sense of humor.

    #3 is hilarious, especially the look on Paris’s face.

    Nikki is pretty hot.

  48. k

    Paris got an oompa loompa?!

  49. RCSignalssuxazz

    Man that wonk eye of Paris’ is getting worse and worse. Can she even open that thing anymore?

  50. Bryce

    Will someone please tell MTV that her undeserved 15 minutes are over. Damn…and a fucking disgusting moldy skank…

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