Snooki almost died

March 1st, 2010 // 69 Comments

Because God needs to work on His aim, Snooki survived a glass roof collapsing at Solo nightclub Saturday night, according to E! News:

“Its okay Vin and I are still alive. Omg roof just collapsed at the purim event!,” Snooki tweeted throughout the commotion. “We thought the dj was beatin the beat hardcore but nope,the roof couldn’t handle snooki and vin.”
Luckily, only a few clubgoers suffered minor injuries, while the majority fist pumped late into the night–Sex and the City’s Chris Noth included!

Great. So apparently Snooki’s just like a cockroach and can’t be killed. When the robot apocalypse wipes everyone out, she’ll still be scuttling around frantically searching for tanning beds. Or if she’s lucky a pizza oven, killing two birds with one stone. “Damn, that rat calzone was the bomb, yo. Now to set this sucker to 350 and get my glow on, bitches. Holla!”

superficial

  1. Taz

    ALMOST!

  2. elie

    Purim is the Jewish holiday they were ‘celebrating’, not the name of the nightclub…

  3. Duffman

    From the neck up she looks like Hyman Roth (Godfather II) with hair.

  4. www

    The chick in the background in pic 7 looks like alyson hannigan…

  5. joe littlecock

    Pic 1!!! Holy shit Jerry Seinfeld got fuck fat!!!

  6. Sport

    keep trying dammit!

  7. Valentina

    Interesting, if Snooki had remained here in Chile chances are she could have almost died last weekend too.

  8. hite

    Just to make sure I have figured this out; Mike Seaver mentioning God when his ex-coworker dies is bad, and an attempt to capitalize off his death. But, you mentioning God had bad aim when he didnt kill snooki is a-ok?

  9. Double-J

    @ #5 – I’d go with Face/Off-era Travolta myself.

  10. Merry Christmas

    Purim? Wtf is that? Jews sure take lot’s of Days Off!

  11. Annie Loves Anal

    ALMOST ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH!

  12. JJ Daddy-O

    Evidently the God of Abraham is pissed about this whole Jersey Shore thing…

  13. Marko

    Those oompa-loompas are so stubby. I can’t tell where Snookie’s friend’s forearms end and upper arms begin.

  14. French Girl

    UGLY BIATCH

  15. French Girl

    UGLY BIATCH

  16. Rabbit

    Hey! “Almost” just isn’t good enough! Get your bulbous ass out there and try again!

  17. Kookie

    Messing with Sasquatch!

  18. McFeely Smackup

    holy crap that is one unattractive chick. Fat and a face like a monkey. Her and her male companion both seem to be leaving a trail of douchebaggery behind them like a tsunami of lame.

  19. AnonymousError

    Ugh epitome of tacky. Look at her coach blackberry case. Only lame people who are trying hard to make other lame people think they “have money” do shit like that.

  20. salsa

    Jesus what an ugly ass circus midget!

  21. abby

    I like the guy in the zebra print shirt with the gold chain, he is so happy to be there.

  22. this random guy

    Who the fuck still cuts their pants at the bottom these days? Didn’t we do that back in high school? Maybe he still has an adolescent mentality. If I was spending that kinda money on clothes, I’d buy something that is tailored to fit, douche.

  23. Carolyn

    What a ghastly woman. That dress, hair and tan make her look inhuman. It frightens me to think that people actually watch her crap on TV.

  24. Ian

    Almost isnt good enough damn it. Next time get that fugly biatch.

  25. Miche

    Can someone please make these people go AWAY! Your 15 minutes are up.

  26. Dyslexic Cnut

    Dude in background looks like Jerry Seinfeld’s fat twin.

  27. STL Hawkeye

    Looks like the roids are working for “Vin.”

  28. See Alice

    Snooki’s useless fame was pioneered by the Fatdashians . My God, when will the vile photos end ?

  29. Seriously, what is going on with our country nowadays?!??!?

  30. kingofbeer

    Holy friggen ugly fat bitch! YUCK! look at that awful fake tan crap… I wouldn’t fuck that with Bronson’s dick!

  31. SO RIGHT

    She’s just dead set on ruining the Coach brand name, isn’t she. Ugh.

  32. Is she in Star Wars?

    for the love of all creatures big and small, is that Snookie or a Wookie?!?!!?

  33. Smoooochie

    Why do I want to sing the Oompa Loopa song all of the sudden?

  34. appleloving32

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at- A g e m i n g le @ c–o.m a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

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  36. Fati87

    Who is this ugly fat brown-ass cow?

  37. Love the guida banana clip. This one came so close to weaving baskets in a hut in Chile somewhere. God’s bad aim again.

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  40. Chester

    They need to change the name of the show from Jersey Shore to Jersey Whore.

  41. there’s no way that “nude” pic was her is there? it may have been orange, but the body… wasn’t this body

  42. jose

    lol to all of these posts. Some of yall hollow bastids are funny man. I agree about the dude in the background… a fat Jerry Seinfeld/John Travola douchebag mix. And now I totally see all the Ewock comparisons hehe.
    LOL Hyman Roth LOL

  43. jose

    oh yea.. Snookis just got no upper lip lol. So shes more like an oopaloompa/ewock/hyman roth with no upper lip and with way too much concern for staying tan.

  44. jose

    id love ot reply to all your comments cuz theyre dam funny but im too tired atm.
    #41 – ya theres no way that was her body in those nudes. This girl looks like she has less of a work ethic for fitness than Kloe Kardashian.

  45. gigi

    um… how do you ‘leave Purim’? lol that WOULD make the coolest name for a club tho- awesome, thumpy mediterranean dance music… So the snookster’s a chilean jew? how blendy of her….

  46. Why wasn’t Schnooki in Chile helping her people?

  47. NVG

    Why are people like ‘this’ getting any attention?

  48. Fede

    OMG Tell me they’re not really Italian… please…

  49. captain america

    ………………A SPLIT SECOND MORE PATIENCE PLEASE!!

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