Snooki’s in the WWE Now

March 31st, 2011 // 64 Comments

When you’re a midget your career options are severely limited. You either play an Ewok, join the circus, do porn, or become a prop for the WWE. So since Snooki knocked that first one out at birth, here she is lending her credibility and star power to the WrestleMania XXVII press conference. I say credibility and star power sarcastically of course because everyone sat around wondering who took a shit on the stage then put a “Brunette Mafia” shirt on it. Cena? Did you do this? You hilarious bastard. Get over here and let me give you a noogie.

SERIOUS NOTE: I’m by no means a wrestling fan, or in the business of blowing sunshine up celebrity asses, but sincere props to John Cena for visiting over 200 Make-a-Wish kids. I’m not pointing any fingers here, but Angelina Jolie or Madonna would’ve only shown up to steal the foreign-looking ones.

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. sarah

    Say what you will about snooki, but I think she has a cute face, and if she lost a few she would be very attractive. Also if she stopped talking about her bowel movements.

  2. youcandieNOW

    This could be good news. WWE employees tend to die young.

  3. Cock Dr

    The blogger forgot to mention the midget porn option. It’s always on the table for this little gnome.

  4. Nen

    Kids are smart enough to not make wishes to be abducted by crypt keepers and their lobotomized lovers. Lets be real here

  5. i would tune in to this event, only to see somebody scissor kick this troll in the head.

  6. Snooki Wrestlemania
    Chip Whitley
    Commented on this photo:

    Some greasy loser must have donkey punched her too hard. Hard to blame him.

  7. dont get it

    good for John Cena! Now let’s work on his rampant homophobia!

    • Reg

      John Cena’s job involves two or more guys in speedos with oiled up chests throwing each other around. Yup, nothing gay about that. Half of his homophobic rants involve gay things he is going to do with the Rock. John Cena is the gayest homosexual in the WWE.

    • Reg

      Not that there is anything wrong with that…

  8. Makes sense her tryin wrasslin. NASCAR too. In fact i see a country album in her future. Appeal to those too retarded to hang on to their money.

  9. bassface

    That font is so 1978.

  10. Does that shirt says Tourette?

  11. Hopefully the next step will be someone throwing her off the top of a ladder into a pile of fluorescent light tubes.

    That’s really all I know about professional wrestling.

  12. kudos to John Cena.

    also Snooki doesn’t look disgusting in this photo. She still is not sexually interesting to me though.

  13. Do you remember when King Kong Bundy beat the shit out of a midget?

    Nothing like a big, fat, blob of flesh destroying a stumpy little midget.

    Snookie can replicate that by herself.

  14. Snooki Wrestlemania
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, who over-inflated the blow up doll?

  15. DAVID

    I wanna fuck this midget ass and pussy thank you very much!

  16. Picture #5 pretty much sums up the whole thing.

  17. Dave M.

    Hunter and Taker could always use her as a muscle ball to warm up before their match.

    Don’t like Cena, like most people I’ve Cena-nuf, but; he is a stand up guy when it comes to doing charity work. And unlike alot of celebrities, some of which Fish has already mentioned, he keeps most of what he does quite.

  18. Snooki Wrestlemania
    Commented on this photo:

    sadly i bet that’s her O-face

  19. Micky

    Her a K$sha should do lesbian porn together and charlie sheen should be forced to watch a narrate.

  20. Jennifer

    All that loot she’s getting from Vinnie Mac for this and she had to resort to visiting the arts and crafts section at Walmart to make that top.

    Or maybe he’s paying her in hydrocodone and cheeseburgers, who knows.

  21. My guess is they plan on harvesting the oil this pig oozes to shine up their wrasslers real nice.

  22. brit

    In the WWE? I thought dwarf throwing was now against federal hate crime law?

  23. Michelle

    Can’t they get Sheamus (the really white Irish guy) to run in and hit her with a pipe?

  24. Snooki Wrestlemania
    KWDragon
    Commented on this photo:

    You must be *this tall* to ride the Cena ride. Whee!

  25. Snooki Wrestlemania
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Oh my God, I DO smell like farts!’

  26. hello

    “everyone sat around wondering who took a shit on the stage then put a ‘Brunette Mafia’ shirt on it.” OMG, I can’t believe I just read that!!! LMAO

  27. Snooki Wrestlemania
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Snooki is bored with Snooki at this point.

  28. Snooki Wrestlemania
    Commented on this photo:

    …and yet they buy pants with the same size waist.

  29. Snooki Wrestlemania
    Efe
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thank God I have that chicken leg I stuffed in here earlier”

  30. anonym

    what does that say on her shirt?

    midgette mafia ?

  31. Pete

    I think she should wrestle as “The Crack of Doom.” There, I said it.

  32. God, I want to fist her.

  33. Chicago_animal

    Is her finishing move the Fist Pump or whatever thy thing is called? I’m sure she’s used to that.

  34. Steve

    She looks like a female Super Mario, gunt and all.

  35. Freedom

    It’s the EWOK and WOOKIE offspring making the news again. This bitch offers nothing to the world except Star Wars Nerds who now know that SNOOKIE is an EWOK/WOOKIE offspring

  36. I assume somewhere a Blonde Mafia is trying to figure out which mall they need to go to to buy her a pair of concrete shoes??

  37. LibRollElite

    The four celebrities that have visited over 200 kids are all NASCAR drivers and WWE wrestlers? Do non-hilbillly kids not get terminal diseases any more?

  38. Snooki Lover

    Is so happy this is not an April Fools joke, and that the mini goddess is actually going to be wrestling in two days’ time!

  39. Phil McCracken

    What do Snooki, Rebecca Black, and Ke$ha have in common?

    They are all unbelievably, extremely lucky people who have become famous and rich just by being in the right place at the right time, through no hard work or talent of their own.

  40. ohlawd

    So I know that Snooki is still… Snooki, but I have to say, she’s cute. In the face.

  41. the one

    ………so just be glad these girls are born & light up america!!

  42. Burt

    I hope this means she’s gonna train and take her vitamins. ;)

  43. fail

    Wild Snorlax appears!

  44. Snooki Wrestlemania
    kayk
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit it….
    With a club until it stopped moving.

  45. 438-J. C. Baker

    WWE, wow.. “The Jersey Shore” celebs are going up the hill.

  46. Michael

    Does Anyone Notice Mike From The Real World Is The Guy Smiling In The Background?

  47. kendrachanae

    I LOVE SNOOKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leave A Comment