Snooki Spent an Entire Day Ewokbating

February 4th, 2011 // 42 Comments

So that’s what the can of Pringles is for…

When she’s not revealing how often she “shits her pants,” Snooki wants Jersey Shore viewers to know she also spends a lot of time masturbating which is incredible considering how sexy she is. And did I mention the pants shitting? RadarOnline reports:

The bombshell came out when Snooki, JWOWW and Deena were going to the pharmacy, and Deena said she can’t understand why girls won’t cop to the deed, adding she thinks “it’s healthy.”
Snooki agreed with Deena, telling her, “You work your muscles — remember I did it all day once and couldn’t move?

Look, I’m not going to sit here and judge someone for pleasuring themselves because they’re constantly being rejected by the opposite sex. I hear that happens to people, though I know absolutely nothing of the experience myself. *looks longingly out the window as a single tear streams down his face* I will, however, vomit pure occult blood into this bucket over here and pray to sweet Jesus to cleanse me of every mental image in my mind right now, except for Spider-man. Haha! Butt-sex doesn’t fight crime.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. funny how a two foot scarf makes her look like the fourth dr who

  2. Marley

    She looks like she’s fifty years old.

  3. Clarissa

    Wow she has a lot of bags there.

  4. Xtina

    I am in favor of this, because if she’s masturbating, she has no chance of passing along her genes to the next generation. Everybody wins.

  5. Michelle

    My friend saw her at a club once and was making out with these two girls in her booth, then she asked the guy if he had abs, if he was a Guido and then wanted to have sex with him, she’s so creepy….

    • Jennyjenjen

      That is really disturbing. There’s a difference between playing an MTV sculpted personality, and really acting like an out of control slut bag in life..

  6. Matty

    I think she’s getting worse looking. And her earrings seem to be growing. Correlation? You decide.

  7. Deacon Jones

    She looks like that miserable, cunt of sister Buddy has on Cake Boss

  8. Bucky Barnes

    Litte Miss Snooki
    Sat and ate cookies
    And diddled and diddled all day
    Her pussy grew wider
    Bats flew up inside her
    And live there to this very day.

  9. Well finally she revealed who her real lover is.

  10. jojo

    Look at the shame on the orange pylon after being removed from her rectum. Can you” rape rape” a traffic cone?

  11. Mortimer Duke

    Bitch looks like she was on a scavenger hunt.

  12. Snooki
    Mortimer Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    Ethel Merman

  13. MoozBoy

    What kind of retarded report is this? They spoke about this on last nights episode, and she wasn’t talking about masturbating all day – but doing kegels.

  14. GravyLeg

    Christ, the Internet has changed EVERYTHING. You can see her metamorphosis to “bag lady” in real time now. The shopping cart must be coming soon.

  15. anonym

    admit it.

    you’d hit it, then quit it.

  16. BT

    When is this pig’s 15 minutes going to be over??? Please…just fade away…

  17. Beffy

    You DON’T mix Burberry and Ed Hardy (actually, no one should ever wear Ed Hardy) and Hello Kitty! Who dresses you? An 80 year old with dementia?

  18. snapdragon

    are those Pringles in her basket?

  19. She’s only a shopping cart away from looking completely homeless.

  20. Snooki
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I have a scarf like that.
    Now I have to throw it in the charitable donation box.

  21. Snooki
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Thanks for ruining the “Hello Kitty” franchise.

  22. Brooke

    Does she take the dill pickle fetish so far that she buys dill pickle flavored Pringles as well? http://i.acdn.us/image/A8151/815146/470_815146.jpg

  23. puddleduck

    All the bags, baskets, scarves, shirts, hair, etc. in the world ain’t gonna cover up this fat slob.

  24. Can you imagine the stench of an all day Snooki masturbatorium?

  25. aine

    Incidentally, the scarf is the Burberry plaid, which has for years been co-opted as part of the uinoform for chavs (white trash) in the U.K.
    Oh Snooki, you’re so fashionable and worldly!

  26. Snooki
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    two words….”Jenni creig”…. or they will be saying she’s pregnant next….assuming someone would have sex with it

  27. GIT

    “I will, however, vomit pure occult blood”… technically occult blood refers to that which can’t be seen..

Leave A Comment