Snooki Should Say ‘Yes’
Jeff Miranda, the Iraq war vet who tried to be Snooki‘s boyfriend just to get on Jersey Shore, is now proposing to her on the cover of
Cheap Famewhore Steppin’ Out magazine despite the fact she’s seen in these photos trying to bang some random dude over the weekend only to miraculously recognize her limits and start humping a support beam. RadarOnline reports:
“I want us to be together forever. I could see us having children. I want to pop the question to her. If we got married we would be the best parents around. She’s so loving and puts everyone else before her self. She’ll be a great mother.”
He admits that Snooki is going to be shocked by his magazine cover proposal, but he isn’t worried that she’ll say no. Once she deals with the shock I think they’ll say yes. I really do. In fact, I know she’ll say yes.”
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m actually rooting for these two to get together. Turns out Jeff really is the hopeless romantic type and is exactly the kind of man I want to see Snooki trapped in a domestic setting with:
According to the court document, Miranda “threatened to burn plaintiff’s house down while she slept, threatened to cut plaintiff’s brakes, defendant threatened plaintiff by stating ‘if you cheat on me or break up with me you have a hole dug for you already.’”
The order also states that Miranda choked and punched Hansen in the stomach, and over New Year’s 2009, pulled her by the hair and called her a slut, c*nt, wh*re, and b****.
Hansen says that when she tried to get her things from his house, Miranda grabbed her by her arms and held her down on the bed screaming “I love you, why are you doing this to me?”
The final straw came when Hansen says Miranda pulled a shotgun on her after she refused to have sex with him.
If there’s anyone more perfect for Snooki than a walking Mel Gibson sleeper cell with a fame hard-on, congratulations, you found a grizzly bear that thinks it found its lost cub. Now hold this cage open while I make a trail of picnic baskets so we can get this reunited bear family back to the park. Haha! That ranger’s gonna be pissed.
Photos: Splash News