After finding out that no less than four dudes might’ve put a baby in Snooki, apparently last night’s episode of Jersey Shore features a scene (after the jump) where America’s favorite Ewok Slam Pig just literally starts peeing all over the dance floor of a club before going to the lady’s room and spraying her hooch with perfume before anyone can figure out it was her. It’s almost impressive how quickly she moves until you realize she’s done this before and left God knows how many victims in her piss-wake.
“Welp, guess that wasn’t Sangria I slipped in. And explains the jock itch…” *puts gun in mouth*
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“America’s favorite Ewok Slam Pig”
This is awesome.
I knock off points for the redundancy of “just literally”
She didn’t even tip the bathroom attendant. What a skinflint!
That is one nasty mothafukkin hoe.
Fish for president :D
just when i think i’ve seen it all, this has got to be the worst disgusting, vile, and shameless whore i ever seen in my life . she makes me want to vomit. i have never seen that show but the b**ch is every where and it’s sickening. it’s sad to know that one can become rich and famous just for having no morals or dignity.
@diana:
I’ll agree that the woman’s out of control, but you have issues that lay beyond this screwball. Focus on yourself, weirdo.
No, he hit it pretty spot on.
Her and Aguilera should hook up.
During its 365-day-a-year mating season, the female Oompa Loompa will often mark its territory with a stream of urine. These tell-tale markings can frequently be found in bars, clubs, liquor stores, and abortion clinics–the natural gathering places of female Oompa Loompa’s during mating season.
+100
Not to mention their beds, bedrooms, dining rooms, and laundry area.
Hysterical!! I will NEVER be able to look at Oompa Loompas the same!!! LOL
Die-gusting
When I first saw the word ‘pee’ I figures it was another story about Kim Kardashian.
She can blame it on the pregnancy and “lack of bladder control”.
Then, next fall, when her spinoff “Snooks + 1″ debuts, she can blame the “serious case of bum-grapes” as a side-effect of childbirth while she breast-feeds her mini-Ewok from her pickle-juice soaked tit in public while scratching her ass ’til blood runs down her leg.
Hey, America has been slowly prepped for this by Jersey Shore and the Kuntashian exploits… no one can pretend to be ‘shocked’.
+1! “Serious case of bum-grapes”! Too fuckin’ funny, man!
I can’t believe everyone keeps assuming she’d breastfeed. That requires sobriety and actually caring for your child. She’s definitely a Hawaiian Punch-in-the-bottle kind of mom.
“What smells like pee, perfume, and ewok?”
Look at the way the four of them dance at the beginning. I’m a graceless 250 pound internet troll and I dance better than that with a shovel up my ass and a liter of morphine in my veins. Disgusting.
LMAO!!!!!!!!
So that’s what a snooki is.
The mouth breathers that watch this show need to be rounded up.
…i will never believe the line “someone must have spilled their drink” again…
Tell me about it
next on e!:
kim goes out to the club and starts owning the dance floor when suddenly everyone starts peeing on her!
and then of course she pees on herself!
hilarity ensues!
suck on that orange inbred troll.
They allow this at the Penthouse Penthouse
Snooki is truly outrageous. Truly outrageous, truly outrageous.
Whoa-oh Jem! The music’s contageous! Outrageous!
I like time slips.
Let’s all pause for a moment and sing Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA”.
This is what happens when you give women rights and don’t keep them chained up in the kitchen!
So she can just pee in the kitchen?
This isn’t a woman
Tragically, those furry boots she wore last year would have soaked it all up…
Thanks for hating Canada.
Not seen is Snooki trying to bury her droppings outside of Subway.
There is always some nasty chick in public bathrooms making the stalls smell like a fish market. Never fails, they funk up the place, fluff their hair then leave w/out washing their hands. I blame the men who make these dirty whores think they are desirable instead of admitting they don’t mind dipping their stick into a cesspool.
At any rate, “Snooki” is that nasty chick with no shame.
I prefer “gutter slut pig” myself, but the ewok reference works as well…
Every woman should have one spectacular bout of drunken public urination in their lifetime.
Snookie’s probably on coming up on her incident #1000.
nasty.
Afterwards, the club owner rubbed her nose in the puddle, and popped her with a rolled up newspaper.
Fergie: She just got excited! Happens to us all.
Aguilera: Yeah, fake tanner can be highly unstable.
Ke$ha: Even I had the decency to pee in the fucking sink…
Classy Women, tonight on P! Entertainment for pigs.
If you are having trouble house-breaking your Oompa Loompa, simply take a rolled up newspaper and strike it across it’s snout. Then, grabbing it firmly by its’ scruff, rub its’ nose repeatedly in the puddle of urine. Repeat endlessly.
Against my better judgement, I watched the video. What a fucking pig. Do she and her friends really have no idea what a fucking pig she is? This isn’t even funny any more. Fucking pig!
evict her to a lonely & boring life: A SINGLE MOM IN AMERICA, folks!!
Typical Italian
she’s actually Chilean and adopted by an Italian family.
Perfect behavior for Hoboken businesses! :: Throws up ::
Gawd, she is a disgusting piece of shit.
and she went home &SLEPT in the same dress &UNDERWEAR she peed in.SHE IS BEYOND GROSS!and she admits 2 taking it up the butt-thats y she gets these uti’s!!!PIG
I would still pee in her butt.
KILL IT WITH FIRE BEFORE IT MULTIPLIES!!!!
***cue Carmina Burana music***
Looks like the weight is creeping back on.
She thinks she’s “not dirty” because she smells “phenomenal”? Has anyone ever explained the basics of hygiene to this cunt?
In the still frame for this article, I’d damn near swear that’s Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy over her left shoulder…..hell, I’m sure even he has more sense than to bump uglies with that ShoreSow.
Reality TV is broadcast welfare.
nailed it.
are you fucking kidding me? i’ve NEVER watched jersey shore & wish i hadn’t watched that clip…ugh
I love how she needs perfume rather than to wipe herself
She said she peed.. but did she really?? is this just another attempt at attention?
omg, every time something new comes up with this little troll, I’m reminded of a chick I used to know– emphasis on the ‘used to’ — could be her f*ing doppelganger! [but the south african version] seriously freaking me out… lol
When will she be dropping a deuce on the dance floor? Is that in next week’s episode?
how badly do you want to tie muddy shoelaces around those jugs, spray the map of Hawaii all over them, then throw her down a flight of stairs behind the A&P? hawt.
What a pig.
it’s so entertaining to watch midgets run around the club.
it’s so hard to look away from these sorry asses
She does not wash her nasty stink hole off, to get the pee from herself. She left the piss soaked underwear on and just sprays perfume on her stink box? What the hell? God the ladies are total whores, who need to grow up, they think they are Paris Hilton. This reality crap needs to get off tv. We have Those Kardashian bitches too, who have no talent and are shoved down our throat as well. Who gives a flying F*ck about any of these scumbags?
Oh for the love of god. Someone actually got close enough (and/or drunk enough) to impregnate that skank? WTF.
Snooki being pregos, shoot she will still look the same little fat drinking, whore, elf…. Shame who is the daddy!!!
She looks like she reeks of armpits and broken dreams…
The snooki ate your baby!