Snooki Has Parenting Advice For Kate Middleton. Snooki. From ‘Jersey Shore.’
Setting aside the pointlessness and antiquity of having a royal family, at the end of the day Kate Middleton is an educated woman who carries herself with dignity and poise while aiding humanitarian efforts in her role as the Duchess of Cambridge. Whereas Snooki is famous for eating pickles on TV and peeing on a dance floor that one time, so you’ll never guess which of these two is giving the other parenting advice. NY Daily News reports:
“The Jersey Shore” star, who has said she plans to raise little Lorenzo to have “a normal life,” also offered advice on becoming a new mom while constantly surrounded by paparazzi.
“Enjoy your time at home — or the castle, in her case — with the baby,” she said. “Especially the first few months.”
Should Middleton opt to breast-feed her blue-blood bundle of joy, like Polizzi, mama meatball swears by “the Boppy pillow. Every new mom should have one.”
Let me just stop right there and offer my own advice to Lord Lady Catherine, Duchess of Showingheryams: Anything you see Snooki doing, do the exact opposite. If she’s breast-feeding her baby, don’t breast-feed your baby. If she’s using Pampers, you use Huggies. If she’s not eating her kid, you eat your fucking kid, etc., etc. Stick to this plan, and everything’s going to be alright. Even if you eat your child which one day you’ll thank me for. Maybe not now, maybe not 10 years from now, but one day, one day…
In case you somehow missed this, here’s the radio clip going around of the two Australian DJs who pretended they were the royal family which Kate Middleton’s nurse believed and told them everything. Although, sadly no one says, “Her stools just aren’t regulah, guv’na.”