Snooki Has Parenting Advice For Kate Middleton. Snooki. From ‘Jersey Shore.’

December 5th, 2012 // 26 Comments
Behold! The Royal Fetus!
Kate Middleton Pregnant Prince William
Kate Middleton's Pregnant. For Real This Time. Read More »

Setting aside the pointlessness and antiquity of having a royal family, at the end of the day Kate Middleton is an educated woman who carries herself with dignity and poise while aiding humanitarian efforts in her role as the Duchess of Cambridge. Whereas Snooki is famous for eating pickles on TV and peeing on a dance floor that one time, so you’ll never guess which of these two is giving the other parenting advice. NY Daily News reports:

“The Jersey Shore” star, who has said she plans to raise little Lorenzo to have “a normal life,” also offered advice on becoming a new mom while constantly surrounded by paparazzi.
“Enjoy your time at home — or the castle, in her case — with the baby,” she said. “Especially the first few months.”
Should Middleton opt to breast-feed her blue-blood bundle of joy, like Polizzi, mama meatball swears by “the Boppy pillow. Every new mom should have one.”

Let me just stop right there and offer my own advice to Lord Lady Catherine, Duchess of Showingheryams: Anything you see Snooki doing, do the exact opposite. If she’s breast-feeding her baby, don’t breast-feed your baby. If she’s using Pampers, you use Huggies. If she’s not eating her kid, you eat your fucking kid, etc., etc. Stick to this plan, and everything’s going to be alright. Even if you eat your child which one day you’ll thank me for. Maybe not now, maybe not 10 years from now, but one day, one day…

In case you somehow missed this, here’s the radio clip going around of the two Australian DJs who pretended they were the royal family which Kate Middleton’s nurse believed and told them everything. Although, sadly no one says, “Her stools just aren’t regulah, guv’na.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Guest

    first. im the best in the world.

  2. ben dover

    Look in the mirror wookie, you shouldn’t be giving ANYONE advice
    please go away

  3. karlito

    this is what happens when sites like yourself and these dumbass “celebrity news” programs who give these idiots some sort of credibility. they actually start to believe they have something intelligent to say and advice to offer. she’s a fucking drunken retard and so are all those goofs from Jersey Shore. i’m surprised that Kim Kardashian hasn’t offered to give “wedding advice” to the Royals. the world is going to hell in a hand basket and you guys are helping it along.

  4. ThisWillHurt

    “Advice? Hm, let’s see. Don’t put him in a tanning bed until it’s . . . 8 . . . maybe 9 months, just to be safe. Don’t drink while you breastfeed, but before and after is OK. When you throw a bottle of Corona at its head, make sure it’s empty first, or you’ll have a mess. One last thing: No, food after midnight. That’s what the Chinese guy said to me, not sure what it means.”

  5. Snooki Perfume Promotion Empire State Building
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    She should have those chompers filed down!

  6. Cher X

    Her new teeth make her look worse. Twice as chipmunky.

    Man, people. Unless your teeth are rotting out of your head, stay away from veneers. They either make you look like a horse or a rabid rodent

  7. cc

    ‘Kate, STDs can be passed from mother to child. I read that in a pamphlet somewhere…just sayin”

  8. vandal

    Why has nobody in America punched this cunt in the throat yet? I are disappoint.

  9. Snooki Perfume Promotion Empire State Building
    Uncle Bobbie
    Commented on this photo:

    Zoom in on the teeth

  10. Mothering Advice: Never, EVER, let your child drink anything stronger than beer before breakfast. You’ll thank me in the long run.

  11. dude

    her first tip to Kate: Try to find out who the father is.

  12. Snooki Perfume Promotion Empire State Building
    Commented on this photo:

    something is wrong with her mouth…fake teeth too big or something..something is off

  13. Snooki Perfume Promotion Empire State Building
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Cousin Itt’s slutty, less-coherent sister.

  14. “Don’t huff gold paint from a sock. While not strictly parenting advice, it’s a good rule of thumb nonetheless.”

  15. it'smeain't

    Is it coincidence that “shore” rhymes with “whore”?

  16. Kim

    Groundbreaking advice here, people. Enjoy your new baby and use a Boppy. Whoa. I’m just in awe. Thank god Snooki provided this valuable information to the Duchess, I don’t know how she would have figured this out.

  17. Skeeter

    Probably in the minority but I would absolutely bang Snooki in the butt.

  18. Snooki Perfume Promotion Empire State Building
    Shep
    Commented on this photo:

    Eau de Dirty skank… because who wouldn’t want to smell like piss and b.o….. by snooki

  19. Bionic_Crouton

    Snookie’s advice should be “Don’t take my advice.”

  20. great advice… :/

  21. Why the fuck would anybody take advice from Snooki on anything? Oh, that’s right, they wouldn’t.

  22. Snooki Perfume Promotion Empire State Building
    Commented on this photo:

    what does her perfume smell like? poon and booze? walk around smelling like shame in no time!

  23. Tinka

    I have nothing against her teeth. As for the people responsible for raising her and letting her on TV…

  24. Parent Freedoms

    I bet Kate really enjoyed that advice lol!

Leave A Comment