Snooki is ‘Thin’ Now, Mel Gibson Said Words and A Special Holiday Message From Our Lord and Savior

April 22nd, 2011 // 193 Comments

[EDIT: Bumped Jesus to the back because the So Freaking Hot section pulls the first pic. Apparently you kids can’t get enough of your blurry, manipulative orange Ewok photos.]

Not so much in celebration of Zombie Weekend as hardly anybody’s at work to blow off being at work, we’re bolting for the day. Granted, we could cover the “explosive” Mel Gibson interview where he literally says nothing revelatory but people are breathlessly reporting that he doesn’t care if he acts again despite spending half the interview talking about how excited he is to act again. Also, no fellatio-themed threats of arson, so eff that noise. In the meantime, enjoy the pics of the new, “thinner” Snooki which she just posted on Facebook. I say “thinner” in quotes because clearly someone taught her about camera angles and the slimming qualities of having your picture taken from 800 yards away.

Most Important People up shortly. Stick around.



  1. Jesus Gun
    s'up bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta love the Christians. They totally ignored Jesus Christ’s message, and the reason for his existence, for that matter.

  2. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    I think her waist does look a little smaller. But unfortunately, getting thinner can’t make your face any less Snooki.

  3. Snooki Weight Loss
    Pooty Poot
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d almost hit that with my own dick. I’d definitely hit it with my own fists.

  4. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Rosanne Bar used to be cute, what happened to her??

  5. Ale

    “I’ll be back, putos” hahahahahahahaha made my day!

  6. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, now I know what that power blip was the other day. The nuclear power plant being taxed by the liposuction machine needed to pull all that out.

  7. Snooki Weight Loss
    Mike Styles®
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care how much weight she lost she still looks like a midget ewok.

  8. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    why is all but one pose exactly the same

  9. Captain Slappy

    I have no idea who the hell this “Snooktard” is, but Mel Gibson will eventually rule as Planetary Overlord, and you biznatches shall just get over it. As far as Jesus goes….you better hope like hell he has a better sense of humor than you do, because he ain’t gonna be happy if he ever shows back up (assuming he ever existed, that is). My ass is going to Peru if he does….you pricks are screwed though. He might not find me in the jungle…

    • I figure if He ever does come back He’ll be too busy trying to destroy the incarnation of Imperial Rome on earth, i.e. the Vatican, before he gets around to our little irreverencies – and that doesn’t include this particular remark, because even St. Peter’s looks like something the Caesars would enjoy hanging out in – the fact that it’s Peter’s tomb is really nothing short of irony. That’s if He doesn’t get stopped at the door and turned away by the Swiss guards for inappropriate dress.

  10. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewww…clean your mirror you orange, wonky eyed fucking pig!

  11. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the hell is she posing exactly the same in every single picture?

  12. Cock Dr

    Jeebus needs a makeover.
    Those robes, the facial hair….it’s not good.
    At least put the man on a horse.
    If this site can put Batman on a bear (or was it a tiger?) you can certainly get the savior on a nice pinto pony.

  13. Snooki Weight Loss
    Pauly D
    Commented on this photo:

    still gross as hell…..eeeck

  14. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    So yeah, I can’t STAND Snookie. She is like a slutty oompa loompa. Having said that, She only looked like a porker/fatty because she’s a short chick with big bazongas. Almost every girl I know that falls victim to being short with big tits looks heavier than they actually are. She’s no mimi from the Drew Carry show or anything…Still, I can’t stand Snookie, and all of her poses are stale. Damn Oompa Loompette.

  15. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately, nobody told her that losing ugly requires a surgeon. … Or three.

  16. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a child that is playing in her mommy’s heels.

  17. Snooki Weight Loss
    Culchah Vulchah
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha! Looks likes one of the munchkins made off with the Wicked Witch’s shoes. Or one of the oompa loompas. Whichever.

  18. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks fat as fuck to me

  19. Artofwar

    …This toga wearing Fabio looking Christ-dude picture, would have worked better if he were holding an A-K 47, with a fully loaded banana-clip attachment, and some scantily-clad hoes wearing the American flag as thongs, perilously squatting over the hood ornament of a 6-4 with spinning rims.

    But all in all, I must say it still manages to somehow capture the true essence of Good Friday.


  20. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    why in every picture her arm is up? is this a wax doll or something?

  21. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m a big fan of curvy women, but chubby or thin, Snooki is not attractive. Snooki might be good looking if she lost the stereotypical look that even other Italians have said “This is not how we really”.

  22. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    i cannot f’in believe how short this human being is.

  23. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s wearing black and “turned to the side” but not thinner. Thick cuz she is short, like me!

  24. Snooki Weight Loss
    Just fucking say it
    Commented on this photo:

    This girl would be talented if holding your breath and sucking your gut in was considered talent.

  25. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she beer goggle fuckable now. That plushy ewok look was not working, she was the only slut on the planet who couldn’t even get a drunk dude to fuck her.

    Good for her, still annoying as shit, but god for her.

  26. Snooki Weight Loss
    Racer X
    Commented on this photo:

    She was more fuckable FAT.

    /stupid white bitch!!!

  27. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she does look thinner. Now if only she’d drop the trashy lifestyle…

  28. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    She may be thin, but she still has a fat face.

  29. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    why is she doing the same poses in all the pics?

  30. Marco

    The miracles of Photoshop.

  31. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks good, she could stand to lose a little more but give her some credit! You can really see the weight loss in her face. She’s so short that any extra weight really shows, the best thing is she’s done with that pouf hair. That was awful.

  32. the captain

    you’re able to arange a marriage between Snooki & my person?

  33. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    if i had never seen the show and i happened to be getting shit faced in a bar somewhere,she walks up to me(probably smelling like pickles) and said “you wanna get outta here?”[wink wink]i admit i’d probably go smash her in the alley behind piggly wiggly.

  34. Jesus Gun
    Commented on this photo:


  35. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    “Some people believe that getting thinner will make you more attractive… … … it’s kind of subjective.”

  36. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s still plump, but that’s no big deal compared to the fact that she looks like a whore.

  37. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Aww look she’s wearing mommy’s shoes :) kids these days

  38. Doc Scweinstrudel

    Xristos Voskrese!!!!
    God loves us,
    We are all one.

    dear Fish, whatever the issues with your dad are – I hope you will resolve them.
    it’s only natural to rebel. I hope you find place in your heart to appreciate him too, while he is still alife.

    xxx and hugs!

  39. Snooki Weight Loss
    Kayne East
    Commented on this photo:

    In this picture, it appears as though WE have been the victims of angles and weird shirts

  40. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Stop tanning! Orange is not a colour for Humans!

  41. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    “I need two extra large ice cream pizza cakes, STAT!”

  42. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Electrical sockets do that to me, too, Snooki.

  43. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    shoes are kinda big on her S:

  44. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    snooki doesn’t deserve this much hate like seriously wtf is wrong with you guys get a life. as if you have the right to slander any one when your just a no body behind a computer. at least shes putting effort into fixing her figure up not that it needs to bo fixed and I personally think she looks gorgeous..

  45. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    They used more CGI for these photos than Avatar.

  46. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s no were near as ugly as people make her out to be she about a 6 but her personality makes her a 4 long with her gross tan, stupid clothes, and lack of talent.

  47. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shit, fewer fat rolls make it harder to tuck convincingly… Must..not…unclench! Dammit, how does that skinny bitch Fergie do it??”

  48. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    “They told me that swallowing semen is like having negative calories. Look what it did when I rubbed it over my entire body!”

  49. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah maybe, but she still sucks under her clothes. She is still snooki and still that hideous fucking color. Hope she gets it and ends her life

  50. waddupt

    snooks looks like kim kardashians minime

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