Snooki is ‘Thin’ Now, Mel Gibson Said Words and A Special Holiday Message From Our Lord and Savior

April 22nd, 2011 // 193 Comments

[EDIT: Bumped Jesus to the back because the So Freaking Hot section pulls the first pic. Apparently you kids can’t get enough of your blurry, manipulative orange Ewok photos.]

Not so much in celebration of Zombie Weekend as hardly anybody’s at work to blow off being at work, we’re bolting for the day. Granted, we could cover the “explosive” Mel Gibson interview where he literally says nothing revelatory but people are breathlessly reporting that he doesn’t care if he acts again despite spending half the interview talking about how excited he is to act again. Also, no fellatio-themed threats of arson, so eff that noise. In the meantime, enjoy the pics of the new, “thinner” Snooki which she just posted on Facebook. I say “thinner” in quotes because clearly someone taught her about camera angles and the slimming qualities of having your picture taken from 800 yards away.

Most Important People up shortly. Stick around.

Photo: PassTheAmmo.com

superficial

  1. Snooki Weight Loss
    Lohan Stole my Necklace
    Commented on this photo:

    No less trashy and untalented.

  2. ThisisnotTigerWoods

    Not enough weight loss until she completely disappears.

  3. Snooki Weight Loss
    TyroneBiggums
    Commented on this photo:

    Fist.

  4. Hermione

    Jesus looks a lot like Kevin Sorbo.

    • Doc Scweinstrudel

      I have a German friend who always went around and told everybody: “I don’t believe in a bearded guy on the cloud”. Then he saw that dream he said amazed him: he saw some 40 year old man clean shaven with short black hair in a pinstriped black suit with a red XXL tie sitting on a throne in the clouds, he laughed at him and said: “yeah, you are right, the beard and the tunic are definately out”. my fried was so amazed he woke up those clouds were still clear and he went to church that day.

  5. She has a long way to go. She looked good on MTV’s when I was 17. She skinnny, preppy, and wasn’t orange. If she gets back to that, she might be worth banging.

  6. wow

    Fish – Insurmountable bad taste. It’s Good Friday man….

  7. Snooki Weight Loss
    danny
    Commented on this photo:

    Give her a week or so, she’ll be back to porky. Alcohol does that to a person.

  8. Lu

    Shes one of those people who look way better in photos than they do in reality

  9. Snooki Weight Loss
    nikki
    Commented on this photo:

    her shoes are entirely to big….

  10. If Jesus died on a Friday, and spent three days in hell, how could he get his zombie on, on a Sunday, which is only two days from Friday? You’re fuckin fired, gospel writers

    • Pilate

      Jesus partied with Charlie Sheen for two days – it just felt like three nights in hell.

    • While His body was in the tomb for three days (not two, since Friday counts as well as Saturday and Sunday) that “time in hell” bit is bullshit anyway, let alone how many days and nights. Hell is a later construct that Judaism didn’t even have at the time. You can thank zealous later mistranslations for substituting “hell” for “sheol”, which actually means “grave” or at worst, a form of Hades where the shades of the dead awaited resurrection – not a burning, last resort, no reprieve, place for the damned.. Just as Christ isn’t ever referred to as the Son of God, nowhere in the Bible will you find the Son of Man anywhere after his death but in “the heart of the earth”.

      Since His body was immune from the corruption of the grave, I’d love to know the original reasoning behind the claim of His doing a 3-day tour in the Hot Spot. By his own statement He had not yet ascending to His father, but why hell as an alternative Green Room:? Even Lazarus got a better stint before his resurrection!

    • Dick Douche, Private Eye

      Answer: Daylight Savings Time and the, uh, International Date Line

    • flambe

      Didn’t spend three days…he bailed from the tomb ON the third. Why do you spend time on a crummy-ass gossip blog posting crummy-ass comments to make yourself feel better? Don’t you have ANYTHING BETTER TO DO? The answer is…yes you do! Get off the computer and go hang out with some people you love and who love you. Oh, and make sure you TELL them you love them.

    • jw

      And why do they call it Good Friday when He died on that day? Because it was another Jew dead, right? Anti-Semites!

  11. dpbefun

    Why is “J” holding a gun?

    • Nietsche

      cuz our society is not only dumbed down, but is completely crass. funny that christians are the ones being picked on, not jews or muslims as always. wonder why that is??????????

  12. Arzach

    It is true! her pinky finger is dramatically thinner now! but just that

  13. Coyote

    A Skank is a Skank or is that a Horse is Horse, either why she has been rode a lot!

  14. Snooki Weight Loss
    Kasey
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks the same to me.

  15. Snooki Weight Loss
    jesse
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking good.. Keep up the good work Snooki. ps, go by a different name other than Snooki.

  16. Snooki Weight Loss
    jesse
    Commented on this photo:

    I understand she’s only a reality “star” with no real discernible talent. But yet, a nice comment every now and then wouldn’t hurt. And she does look alot better. So kudos to you snooki!

  17. Snooki Weight Loss
    Straight dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice jugs. Would bang, would *not* date.

  18. Snooki Weight Loss
    DAH
    Commented on this photo:

    Trying to be sexy; fail. Someone hand her a drool cup!

  19. Mark Twaint

    Why dosen’t Jesus have more fire power than an old western repeater? The average 14 year old packs more heat than that. – Mark Twaint

    • Laugh now, but you’ll shoot your eye out with one of those. The good news is that if He did, He could heal it.

      • TomFrank

        Could Jesus make a gun so lethal that even He couldn’t heal its wounds?

      • While the question of “How powerful is Jesus?” or “How powerful is an all-powerful God?” is pretty provocative, I think the more disturbing underlying element of your question is “Just how much of a masochist would Jesus have to be to do that?” Given that He knew scourging to the bone, cranial thorns and crucufixion were in the offing and didn’t flake out, we’re really talking dedication on a very unsettling level, dontcha think?

  20. Megan

    Anyone can look thinner if they pose like that in every single picture. She’s not fooling anyone

  21. Mark Twaint

    Oh nevermind, he is just hunting sparrows, not looking for a turf war.

  22. Mark Twaint

    Thought he was a fisherman. He should be holding bass wrangler 3000 with ultra flex graphite rod.

    • Nope, Simon called Peter (possibly one of the earliest identity theives – true story) was the fisherman. I’m all for merchandizing tie-ins so any saint posed with a Popeil Pocket Fisherman would actually be awesome.

  23. Mark Twaint

    Wrong again wikipedia says he was a carpenter. Immaculately appropriated tool belt would have worked best. – Mark Twaint

    • I fixed it…. now Wikipedia says He was a gun-toting, justice-dealing, bible-writing savior. Like Walker Texas Ranger without the hipster glorification.

  24. me

    I Don’t see you attacking Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, B’hais….. nope. Only Christians. That’s kind of cool, because when somebody hates something so much, they usually turn to it. If you truly had a problem with Christianity you’d probably just be indifferent to it. I’m glad there’s conflict, and you wear it on your site very well. Thanks for giving publicity to Christ (whether good or bad). I’m sure you’ll get a lot of people to reexamine their beliefs and asking God to show them the way and what’s in His will for them.
    Jesus, had no servants, yet they called him Master. Had no degree, yet they called him Teacher. Had no medicines, yet they called him Healer. He had no army, yet kings feared Him. He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him. He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today. On Good Friday he died on the cross that we would be forgiven.

    • CC

      Religion is a personal and private matter. Everyone should practice what they believe and leave people who practice different alone.
      Like abortion, if you don’t like it, don’t have one!
      Like titty bars, if you don’t like them, don’t go to one!
      But why should a small percentage of people with and opinion try to govern 100% of the people?
      I call B.S.

    • still odd how not one of the scores of historians who lived around the ‘time of jesus’ made one mention of him

      http://www.holysmoke.org/sdhok/jesus5.htm

      not saying fairytales don’t serve a higher purpose..

    • Me, if you don’t see jokes about those other religions, then you clearly haven’t been here before.

      Try to keep in mind that you may have your imaginary friends that give you comfort, but other people believe in different imaginary friends, and some people don’t have any at all.

      The worst part about you christians is you not only think everyone should believe the crap you do, but you don’t even know you’re in the minority…MOST of the world thinks YOU are wrong.

    • lululata

      so instead of Christianity should we attack Jews, Muslims, Buddhists?

      • Mark Twaint

        I am quite sure now that often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the Snooki’s.
        - Mark Twaint

      • dpbefun

        I have stock in government contractors..ie…Lockheed Martin, so I am all for attacking anything. As long as something gets blown up, i’m making money!

      • Yes, we should definitely do unto others so that everyone gets fucked evenly. That’s what He said, right?

    • @lululata – Can’t we all just agree to attack the Wiccans?

      • *elbows GravyLeg in the ribs* Shut up! There are few enough religions that advocate naked hippy chicks who like to throw down as it is, we don’t need you driving them off!

        Seriously, though, they’re just as batshit as any other religion…I do have a soft spot for them, though, as I’ve never had a Wiccan tell me I was going to hell.

      • The Critical Crassness

        Gravy, I wouldn’t if I were you! I have a ready made spell that will turn you into a Snooki Clone, if you attack the Wiccans! It was given to me by my invisible man, spirit guide named Woofy, who is a 35,000 year old slave laborer from the Moogo Boogo civilization.You had better stop now and pray to the Great Serpent and ask for his will for you.

      • lululata

        @GravyLeg I guess we could but I don’t understand the mentality behind “attack the others not Christianity” and then shout thank you jeeesusss thank you lordd we all equal thank you lord BS in churches.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Wow, another indignant Christian nutbag posting crap obviously written by his or her minister. You were doing pretty well with the whole explanation until you got to the part about asking for God’s will, then you went straight into Jimmy Swaggert TV. Can’t any of you Christian types come up with a convincing argument on your own? BTW, On Good Friday,if he existed, he died on the cross because he was preaching sedition and threatening the Roman Empire’s hold on the Jewish people. Anything, beyond that is the teachings of a religion that stole almost every symbol and legend in its’ vast theocracy from earlier religions, just to subjugate the people. Please, educate yourself beyond the teachings of your minister and the Bible, which is a genealogy, a history book and a collection of writings by men, which has been revised and mistranslated so many times it is impossible to determine what, if any, of it is a true reflection of the original writers thoughts and words.

    • Pilate

      Funny to see a Christian posting on a gossip website.

      Proverbs 18:8
      The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.

    • Dick Douche, Private Eye

      *sigh*
      If you make fun of Muslims, you get killed.
      If you make fun of Jews, you get evicted.
      Buddhists are irrelevant.
      B’hais — Jesus Christ man, what in God’s name is a B’hai?
      I think you’re doing this to get a rise out of us.

  25. Snooki Weight Loss
    Ms Me
    Commented on this photo:

    Sailor V-enereal Disease! Fighting for truth, anal love, and pickles!

  26. Snooki Weight Loss
    SexxiMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, she did lose weight! Good for her, she looks great! :)

  27. CC

    Sorry, still a pig I don’t care how much weight she looses.

  28. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice try Rosanne, now where’s Snooki?

  29. Now she can wake up in even smaller trash cans….

  30. kendrachanae

    I LOVE SNOOKI!!!! Mel Gibson is a fucking loser and a has-been what has he done lately…exactly nothing!!! His opinion doesn’t mean shit!!!!

    • Damn, I’m torn between having to assume everything you say is complete bullshit due to the fact that you love that insipid bag of STDs and the fact that your statements about Mel Gibson are accurate…

      //flagrant.error…

      …error…

      …error…

      *head explodes*

  31. Snooki Weight Loss
    Vinnie Minello
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s still fat, and still a piece of dried up martini vomit. Next!

  32. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    You can take the fat out of a whore but you can’t take the whore out of fat

    • icontom10

      I always thought snookie was hot, but I am so proud of her to worry enough about her health and to look so much more gorgeous, she is going places and i think she should start to due auditions for movie roles she has a wonderful personality and deserves a shot at a great film and allow much more people to see the good’s she posesis , snookie straight truth your a star and you should go for it all your hot on the fryin pan now so cash it in and you will be set and on fire for a long time to come your simply gogeous and hey if you ever get to philadelphia please allow me to take you to dinner . written from Thomas Barasso

  33. Snooki Weight Loss
    RickyLong
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not even an Ewok, much less snooki.

  34. Snooki Weight Loss
    RickyLong
    Commented on this photo:

    What exactly is she growling at in that first picture? And is that fur growing on her hand? She must be on Sheen’s “tiger blood” diet.

  35. yer face

    i just threw up in my mouth. it’s so funny when she tries to be sexy!! hahaha

  36. LJ

    I just looked through the Snookie pics.

    How cool that she’s posing to be a Lawn Gnome. I wanna get one to keep the birds from eating the grass seed.

  37. Snooki Weight Loss
    Commented on this photo:

    photographer:” Give me sex, seduce me, make love to the camera….or you know, look like a walrus in heat, that works too”.

  38. Snooki Weight Loss
    Kate
    Commented on this photo:

    Every pose is the same. Could it be that her right hand got stuck to her head? Just a little too much hairspray, perhaps.

  39. Snooki Weight Loss
    babigurl
    Commented on this photo:

    her shoes are too big lol

  40. Snooki Weight Loss
    Nikitaku
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww… mommy let her wear “big girl” shoes.

  41. Clarence Beeks

    Snooki, no matter how much weight you lose, you will still have a terrible figure, and you will always be gross.

  42. Snooki Weight Loss
    Unimate
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you will, but her breasts look supremely motorboatable right there.

  43. Snooki Weight Loss
    Nikitaku
    Commented on this photo:

    I was surprised to see this wasn’t on Perez Hilton’s Friday love fest with a crayon scribbled “I

  44. Snooki Weight Loss
    Nikitaku
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh, to finish off my cut-off comment: “I

  45. Snooki Weight Loss
    Dr. Hufurrrrr
    Commented on this photo:

    If she’s so “thin” now, let’s see some bikini pictures.
    On second thought, let’s not…ever!

  46. Snooki Weight Loss
    jt
    Commented on this photo:

    2.5 weeks ago at wrestlemania she was still the same fatass she was before, you sayin all this happened in 2.5 weeks? i call bullshit

  47. Snooki Weight Loss
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    she could lose another 25 lbs if she got rid of the orange.

  48. Snooki Weight Loss
    Steve
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm…yup, still gross.

  49. uthinkursmart

    Funny how this left wing idiots always bash and make fun of Christianity yet NEVER say a word about the religion that saws the heads of of people that don’t belive they way they do.

    Some say the leftist sheep are symphathetic to the religion of death. That’s not it really. These idiots are just cowards, scared their neck will be the next on the chopping block.

    These furry little sheep are no different than the bullies most all of them met in school. They only pick on the groups that won’t fight back.

    • vitobonespur

      You need to get your doc to make some adjustments in your pharmacological cocktail because the current mix is making you sound like a totally fucked up psycho.

      Oh wait…

      • uthinkursmart

        Truth hurt….sheep. Keep suckeling the cocks of the terrorist. I am sure that it will pay off some day.

        I would guess that you are not old enough yet to grow a beard. You had better start now and while your at it you had better start practicing your daily death prayers.

    • @uthinkursmart
      If you’re so religious why are you spending all of Good Friday on a gossip site, shouldn’t you be on a pilgramage or easter egg hunt or other religious-y things??
      It’s so ironic that’s it’s always the most hardcore Chritstians that are wishing death on other non-believers, kinda defeats the point of praticing peaceful religion or even truer, exactly demonstrates the corruption behind it.

      • uthinkursmart

        Never said I was Christian. What I am however…is anti-useful idiot. I get tired of witnessing wana be athiest spew their hate toward Christians and Jews yet give islam a fucking pass.

        If you wana hate religion so much then call THEM ALL OUT. Don’t zero in on the religions that wont cut your fucking head off for calling them out. Quit being bitches and grow some balls.

      • uthinkursmart

        I just realized that you were a women. Does your protected religion know that you are on the Internet? Are you even wearing your Burka???

        Get the fuck back in the kitchen before you end up neck deep in a hole staring down a few dozen stone throwing savages.

    • s'up bitches

      Dude. Seriously. If you want to make an argument, try spell check.

      P.S. Christianity is for losers.

      • MrsWrong

        Hey dummy-Ever heard of the Crusades?…talk about keeping your head in the sand! Islam is about 1300 years old. When christianity was 1300 years old they had an Inquisition and the Crusades where they indescriminantly killed Jews and Muslims and “witches. I dont believe in indescriminant killing(except in video games) and I dont think what is going on in the Mid-East is OK by any stretch of the imagination…but
        1. Dont act like Christians’hands are so clean
        and
        2. Dont assume that just because people on this site like to indulge in escapism dont know what the fuck they are talking about.

        We just have our eyes open enough to hear ALL sides of the argument and decide for OURSELVES.(I think you mindless sheep call that faith?)

      • uthinkursmart: This obviously has been a hard concept for you to grasp, but each “woman” is her own entity, not just one group of “women”, kinda like how each religion stands on its own and is open to criticism, not lumped together to protect itself from being “called out” as you say.

        When someone here makes a comment towards Christianity(or any religion for that matter), humorous or otherwise, they aren’t by default supporting another religions barbaric behavior, they are simply remarking on what’s infront of them at that time (eg. Good Friday being a predominantly Christian holiday in North America).

        You may feel Christianity takes a bigger hit than say Islam and you would be right (the only time you made a semi coherent thought). That’s because The Superficial is written from a North American point of view, where Christianity is the predominant religion that shapes our ideals.
        He writes about CELEBRITY GOSSIP and its absurdities that will inevitably sometimes touch on religion, not bc he has a left wing agenda but because it’s being injected into every single aspect of our lives, including topics as trivial as celebrity blather (Lady Gaga and her song Judas, teenage bible thumping sluts getting their own TV shows). When religion is being discussed it is with no less sarcasm and satire than any other topic he discusses because that’s what he does. Don’t like it? Go somewhere else.

        Choosing to base your misguided rhetoric ignoring these simple observations has only made you sound a 5 yr who wants the whole class to be punished when you get caught eating glue. Which judging by the ridiculousness of your statements, is exactly what you were on when you wrote that crap.

      • uthinkursmart

        Why in the world are you bringing up a war that happened a 1000 years ago?? Oh…because you have absolutely no other argument.

        LEARNING IS FUN: Did you know that the crusades were a defensive war? It was conducted to halt the continued and brutal (you think mulslims cutting heads off is a new thing) encroachment of the savage muslims into Europe. If the crusades would have never happened you would probably be sporting a dirty, smelly beard and praying to allah 5 times a day.

    • First off, sheep aren’t furry, so right away you’ve lost massive credibility just on general intelligence.
      Second, I’m goinna read between the lines here and state that if you think the best way to prove you’re not a “coward” is to burn a Koran because you know Jesus wants you to and it’ll make sure He loves you best, then you’re already so righteously fucked due to the deaths you’ve indirectly caused that no amount of justitification on your part, like calling others who criticize you “sheep,” is gonna ever wash your hands clean.

      Also, since when don’t “left wing idiots” say anything about Muslim fundamentalists that embrace beheading their religious enemies? “Sympathetic to the religion of death” my ass.
      If you’re specifically looking for leftist jokes on the subject you’re gonna be sorely disappointed, because it’s not exactly something that anyone wants to make fun off. Also, you should know that most of the left wingers I know tend to be allergic to religious fundamentalists of ANY kind. But since Christianity does happen to be the majority religion in THIS country, it does make sense that it’s gonna take most of the hits on this site – and that’s a direct result of the fact that fundamentalist branches of it insist on making asses of themselves trying to impose their religious beliefs and morality on the American public through the legislature. And FYI, when the Hasidim try to get an anti-gay marriage amendment added to the Constitution, or insist that the state add a law saying I can’t turn on the lights after sundown on Friday, then they’ll get it right between the eyes from me. Hell, I’ve eaten a bacon sandwich outside a mosque during Ramadan – nothing’s beyond me.

      You may not appreciate the distinction, but there is a BIG difference between being irrelevant about someone’s religion and actually taking steps to hurt their right to worship, like, say, burning either their churches or scriptures. If you can’t take any sort of irreverencies about society, gays, politics, celebrities, religion, bikinis and Russell Brand’s Infidelity Lottery Countdown, my advice is to stay away from this site – you are too humorless to cope with what goes on here.

      And FYI, the Christian fundamentalist factions in this country aren’t exactly defenseless , so your characterization of Christians as “groups that won’t fight back” is ludicrous in the extreme. Your admonition to shit on all religions across the board is interesting (and when I say “interesting”, I mean that in the way that every 12 year old who still climgs to whining “it’s not fair” at everything he encounters in life is interesting ), but since the day is not only essentially meaningless to Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs and Buddhists, it actually flies in the face of everything that religious observance stands for, so both your timing and intent really are for shit.

      But do let me know how that eye-for-an-eye thing works for you, k? It’s just so…so…Islamic, ya know?

      • uthinkursmart

        I say lets burn a koran and a bible at the same time but you apologist would never be so insensitive towards someones religion.

        oh wait. People burn, piss and shit on the bible daily yet I never hear a peep from the PC crowd.

        double standards and sloppy, ignorant PC make me puke.

  50. Snooki Weight Loss
    s'up bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothin’ sessier than a shaved ewok. Too bad she missed the hands.

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