Snooki is a New York Times Bestseller

When she’s not literally taking a shit on cable television and/or talking about how often she shits, the perfect woman basically, Snooki is climbing the New York Times Bestseller list. Or at least that’s what she claims on Twitter:

OMG I’m a New York Times Best Selling Author!!! Thank you so much to my fans, family and everyone who made this possible! LOVE YOU ALL !!

Except Snooki’s book “A Shore Thing” appears absolutely nowhere on the New York Times Best Seller list for Hardcover Fiction. However, I’m not calling her a liar because we live in the greatest country on Earth, so I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until the list is updated [Ed. Like right now. #24.] which has to be deflating for any author who’s achieved the title. Stephen King is probably wishing that van killed him right about now. “I’m on the same list as a what now? *looks at picture of Snooki* Fuck me, my character’s are coming to life and writing their own books. Quick, shoot me in the head before I write again. Hurry, I can feel my fingers inching toward the keyboard! Oh, God!”

Photos: Splash News