When she’s not literally taking a shit on cable television and/or talking about how often she shits, the perfect woman basically, Snooki is climbing the New York Times Bestseller list. Or at least that’s what she claims on Twitter:
OMG I’m a New York Times Best Selling Author!!! Thank you so much to my fans, family and everyone who made this possible! LOVE YOU ALL !!
Except Snooki’s book “A Shore Thing” appears absolutely nowhere on the New York Times Best Seller list for Hardcover Fiction. However, I’m not calling her a liar because we live in the greatest country on Earth, so I’m sure it’s only a matter of time until the list is updated [Ed. Like right now. #24.] which has to be deflating for any author who’s achieved the title. Stephen King is probably wishing that van killed him right about now. “I’m on the same list as a what now? *looks at picture of Snooki* Fuck me, my character’s are coming to life and writing their own books. Quick, shoot me in the head before I write again. Hurry, I can feel my fingers inching toward the keyboard! Oh, God!”
Photos: Splash News
Jennifer | January 21, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Why does she always wear those ugly fucking boots with her outfits???
Jennifer | January 21, 2011 at 12:05 pm
I swear she looks like a short fat version of Kim K…
Mary Jane | January 21, 2011 at 2:38 pm
LMAO!! This is random, my mom watches Wendy Williams and Snooki was her guest and on the show Wendy had three Snooki “Look-alikes” to compete or something idk I saw it in passing, but they were all SUPER fat, only one was just as fat as her. She looked so PISSED it cracked me up!!!!!!!!!!!
LMAO!
:D
Georgio | January 21, 2011 at 12:12 pm
To match her ugly fucking face maybe?
Bucky Barnes | January 21, 2011 at 12:24 pm
A five inch heel brings her up to nearly 4 feet, plus it makes the calves look great. I should probably mention that I mean “calves” as in baby cows.
kelly | January 21, 2011 at 7:52 pm
lol i agree being short is a curse. my freind is 4’11 and shes GORGEOUS really, if she was 5’8 id really have to be jealous though lol
Laurie Plumridge | January 22, 2011 at 6:50 am
Those aren’t calves those are steers.
Rebecca | January 21, 2011 at 1:01 pm
First thing that came to mind…. what a terrible choice of shoes.
slappy magoo | January 21, 2011 at 1:13 pm
‘Cause she has cankles the size of Christmas hams?
McFeely Smackup | January 21, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Really? You look at that steaming hot mess of skank pudding, with a headline that signifies the fall of western society, and the sum of your emotions is shoe related? Really?
Drew | January 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Oh stfu McFucker. People are entitled to their opinions. You aren’t God on here.
Jennifer | January 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Yes. Really.
Cock Dr | January 21, 2011 at 9:28 pm
“You look at that steaming hot mess of skank pudding, with a headline that signifies the fall of western society, and the sum of your emotions is shoe related? Really?”
It’s not the sum of the emotions, but it is the first one.
Bad shoes really offend women. It makes us hurt. Looking at this little goblin hurts me in ways that a man just can’t understand.
Facebook me | January 21, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Every I time I see this burnt orange skin cancer looking bitch, she is larger than life. And what I mean by that is, she is getting larger each time she is photographed..her next gig – spokeperson for Lane Bryant!
Facebook me | January 21, 2011 at 2:34 pm
The look on the woman behind her is PRICELESS! It’s like she is mortified to be running into this famewhore!
McFeely Smackup | January 21, 2011 at 7:03 pm
I like to think I’m at least a prophet. Like Muhammad. Jesus was a wuss.
Rebecca | January 21, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Don’t read too much into that. The book lists, like everything else in entertainment, is fixed. It has to be.
dumbass | January 21, 2011 at 12:24 pm
wtf, have you ever seen the kind of crap that gets on the NYT bestseller list? it’s all diet books and cook books. At one time, the entire list was 5 garfield books, 2 diet books, and 3 cookbooks. It’s a list of what SELLS. It’s not a list of the 10 best works of fiction, just the best selling. Obviously, we’re a nation of illiterate morons that like to eat too much, read comics about fat lazy smart assed cartoon cats, and then run out for diet books because we’re mystified as to how we got so fat sitting on our lazy asses eating too much and reading comics about obese cartoon cats.
Mortimer Duke | January 21, 2011 at 12:31 pm
ha ha ha ha @ Dumbass
me | January 21, 2011 at 1:18 pm
like!
Facebook me | January 21, 2011 at 2:33 pm
+1
Mary Jane | January 21, 2011 at 2:33 pm
-and buy the cookbook instead of the diet one cuz fuck it, I’d rather learn how to make chicken parmesan.
‘
‘
I am actually in school for something that will hopefully lead towards being an author and this made me think 2 things. Wow so my hopes and dreams are actually just a big joke, and Snooki just took a shit on my hopes and dreams. That’s like me being in love with, (idk I don’t have celebrity crushes) Brad Pitt and she is like “Oh Braddy? Yeah, I fucked him.”
:(
Time to get high.
Fuck Snooki.
Dante Calamari | January 21, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Dumbass has a good point. Hulk Hogan wrote a best seller. Other Wrestlers have written so-called best sellers.
Oh snap | January 21, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Well… I ran out of toilet paper and decided I’d wipe my ass with something less classy than toilet paper
Misana | January 21, 2011 at 2:36 pm
the lady behind her in picture 13 looks like Celine Dion
Lucy | January 21, 2011 at 12:08 pm
This shore is depressing.
Alice | January 21, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Hahhahha at least this bs sounds like a good material for next SK book.
Georgio | January 21, 2011 at 12:11 pm
So, I guess telling a ghostwriter, “So, this one time? I got really drunk? And fell down a lot? And ate a pickle?” qualifies as an author now.
Lady Blah Blah | January 21, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Ha ha, good one.
MLVC | January 21, 2011 at 12:13 pm
I wonder if her snatch reeks of stale urine and catfish??
Dick Tater | January 21, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Don’t they all?
Mary Jane | January 21, 2011 at 2:35 pm
EW. No, keep fishing if those are the only ones ya’ve been around.
Iveski | January 21, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Smells like chicken? Keep on lickin’.
Smells like trout? Get the hell out.
GravyLeg | January 21, 2011 at 12:14 pm
The only thing that shocks me at this point is that her book isn’t edible.
justifiable | January 21, 2011 at 12:57 pm
I just thank Christ it’s not a scratch ‘n’ sniff.
Cock Dr | January 21, 2011 at 5:59 pm
That’s the next one.
And there will be a next one….unless someone puts a stop to this. Any volunteers?
Chase | January 21, 2011 at 12:15 pm
A SHORE THING, by Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi (Gallery) is #24 on the Hardcover Fiction list.
source: http://www.nytimes.com/best-sellers-books/2011-01-30/hardcover-fiction/list.html
Iveski | January 21, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Truth? Fiction? Who can tell anymore?
g_girl | January 21, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Yep, she’s there………. :D
Jan K. | January 21, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Every book ever has been on a bestseller list or won some shit award. It’s as meaningless as movie or music awards.
NO PLEASE NO | January 21, 2011 at 12:19 pm
It’s there…. number 24.
America is officially dead.
http://www.nytimes.com/best-sellers-books/2011-01-30/hardcover-fiction/list.html
Lady Blah Blah | January 21, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Agreed, NPO. My first thought was, what a sad statement about where the US is at.
Richard McBeef | January 21, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Don’t act surprised, the average adult isn’t capable of reading anything that isn’t taken off the shelf of the young adult section.
Mortimer Duke | January 21, 2011 at 12:21 pm
The only piece of writing about her im interested in is her obituary.
Chicken Ala Kinky | January 21, 2011 at 12:29 pm
+1
Jennny | January 21, 2011 at 7:28 pm
+2
GravyLeg | January 21, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Agreed. Thankfully her obit is assured to short since we can just write the word “shit” on a wall using feces and pretty much have it all covered.
1hguoreht | January 21, 2011 at 12:41 pm
I find her attractive. But shes a fame whore and shes seems to be everywhere lately. it irks me!
perv | January 21, 2011 at 3:54 pm
I’m with ya. Love her tig ol’ bitties, and she has nice legs for a short chick. But, she needs to hire a new stylist, pronto. Her look is hideous. A cross between Goodwill, vintage, and guido. Not good.
erin | January 21, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Since I was young I dreamed about being an author whose work appeared on the NYT best seller list… she just massacred my dreams. I might as well drop out of college, move to the beach, and be a sloppy drunken idiot until MTV wants to make a show about me.
Dante Calamari | January 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm
At least it shows ANYONE can acheive their dreams!!! Erin, don’t GIVE UP!!! If Snooki can do it then damn it so can you!!!
Pauly D | January 21, 2011 at 12:50 pm
ugh this little wetback is so f’n disgusting. and that other one she brought holy shit make me sick….
vandal | January 21, 2011 at 12:55 pm
Yeah, like she wrote it. This dumb fucker wouldn’t know where to start.
Geo | January 21, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Snooki is a New York Times Bestseller—-> you mean Snooki is a New York Times Breastseller
Richard McBeef | January 21, 2011 at 1:07 pm
-1
Racer X | January 21, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I see your -1 and raise you +1, slick.
slappy magoo | January 21, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Whoa, Nelly! One of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse must’ve got thrown!
Deve | January 21, 2011 at 1:16 pm
What I want to know is – where the black hole or reality paradox that will consume us all originates from – her mouth or butthole?
“…and as God sat in heaven with pen in hand he chuckled to himself…”heh…a Snooki; they’ll never see that one coming…”
The book of Revations.
Lovemypussyhairthick | January 21, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Now I know why the terrorist hate us.
basti | January 21, 2011 at 1:58 pm
There being enough buyers to put this book on the bestseller list is the equivalent of this country touching its no-no spots in front of everybody. It might be a naughty thrill at first, but when that’s gone, can you really recover your pride?
James | January 21, 2011 at 2:20 pm
I’m serious I wouldn’t care if America was destroyed with nuclear weapons and everything started over.
dudeatdudedotdude | January 21, 2011 at 2:29 pm
cant believe im bothered that theres no ass shot
Little Richard | January 21, 2011 at 3:42 pm
America, you get the celebrities you deserve. Chew on that, wouldya’?
Gerbil in my Butt | January 21, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Fucking troll. One of the many reasons why the rest of the world laughs at us.
Dante Calamari | January 21, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I figured Snooki would be a best seller only because if there are enough mindless drones watching the show and enough pre-teen wannabe’s wanting to be like her, and enough New Jersey and Eastern Shoreline skank that are just like her, she would be able to sell enough ‘books’ to make this list.
Annie | January 21, 2011 at 3:57 pm
I used to manage a bookstore and the NYTB List is prepared in advance…..this is totally fixed by the publisher. BTW, can her fans actually read?
snacks | January 21, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Who dresses up a stool sample anyway?
melissa | January 21, 2011 at 4:30 pm
She is a fucking ugly troll. Nothing attractive or intelligent about this trash bag. America needs to be nuked, I am sick of fat pathetic people praising and making other fat retards rich. Being a citizen of this country is truly embarrassing and to make it worse I live in fucking Jersey. Its about time this bitch stopped reppin Jerz, she is just some ugly cunt from WAY Upstate NY. She is a HICK with a fake wanna be Jersey attitude and accent. This fat bitch FAILS to realize that we do not talk or look anything like this mess. If I ever saw this trick in public I would whoop her ass so hard, you all would be reading about it on this site. Snookie, stay the fuck outta any part of Jersey that has nothing to do with SleezeSide. I would never be caught dead there. If I see you in a club or in the street, its a wrap for you. DUMB BITCH. And fuck ALL of you who watch her show and buy her books. FUCK YOU ALL.
MLVC | January 21, 2011 at 7:59 pm
holy Jihad…well versed. Down with the USA.
Lightdragon | January 21, 2011 at 4:56 pm
well Snooki certainly seemed to sell a lot of paper weights or table levelers.
Kevin | January 21, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Can she even spell bestseller?
alex | January 21, 2011 at 5:52 pm
sad.
FrankNfrtr | January 21, 2011 at 6:02 pm
She swells up bigger & bigger with each week. Like watching a pumpkin grow in a field. The color is about right…she might be ripe.
This news of her literary success depresses me. I think I’ll begin the Fryday night rituals of self medication.
Wotwot | January 21, 2011 at 6:18 pm
I’m shocked… that her fans can read.
cc | January 21, 2011 at 7:08 pm
It’s wierd but Snooki makes me think of bacon.
Is there Snooki-brand bacon?
Racer X | January 21, 2011 at 7:48 pm
I’d wrecked that.
/tig-ol’-bitties!!!
Ali | January 21, 2011 at 7:53 pm
The question is who ISN’T a New York Times Best Selling Author? I bet even I’m there somewhere even though I haven’t even written a book yet.
MLVC | January 21, 2011 at 10:14 pm
if that fucking idiot russell brand can do it…this fat bitch can too
wim | January 21, 2011 at 10:52 pm
AB-SO-LUUT-ELY!!!
………..she can please me.
Anya | January 21, 2011 at 11:28 pm
her droopy ass nose hangs down and touches her non existent lips. I’m surprised that she hasn’t gotten collagen injections yet…..
Gando | January 22, 2011 at 6:53 am
Although we know how or what it is. That’s still a good move from Snooki for better ratings!
Nero | January 22, 2011 at 7:02 am
Is she neurotic or something? Always pulling the same act.
Galtacticus | January 22, 2011 at 7:27 am
I think i know what she wants to be done ….. Hehehehe
Rhialto | January 22, 2011 at 7:31 am
She doesn’t take crap doesn’t she? Hahahehehe
Nero | January 22, 2011 at 7:43 am
We need to say farewell to our fellow ‘anarchists’. We’re forced to leave you within a few hours. Yep that’s quite what it is. Hahahehehe
Olivia | January 22, 2011 at 8:44 am
Does Snooki even know how to write? I’m 100% positive she didn’t write this book. She had someone do it for her. She’s too dumb to even spell book!
John Holmes | January 22, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Wait…. Hold on…… let me just….okay, I’m fine now.
I get it. It’s just the same malicious joke the NY Times loves to play on you poor saps, all of you have fallen to their shenanigans numerous times, too many times to bother counting. but this one takes the cake, and its a big F-ing cake.
We’ve all seen it before, these pranksters including in their best author lists such gems as Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. yeah, well there’s only so many times you can pull off the same joke. though I must say, this is quite an impressive feat, taking your chances with Snooki, F-ing Snooki from that show which could only be described as the physical manifestation of the 8th circle of hell (the 9th goes to what is known as “Bridal Plasty”). and you’ve done it. everyone believes it. everyone believes that this is what society has come to.
NY Times guys, your depraved, utterly insane concept of humanity, which has been demonstrated satirically and thoughfully through the fomulated and repeated prank of adding the likes of Lauren Conrad and Jenna Jameson to the your list of best selling authors has, thanks to your manipulations and cunningness, been accepted by just about everyone who cares about what the NY Times has to say.
or I could be wrong, which in that case I’m going to put my head under a car and ask someone to run over it.
JuiceinLA | January 25, 2011 at 2:55 pm
It took 4 days before I could even crawl out from under my gin soaked bed to comment after reading this. gawd help me, as an unpublished author who actually wrote her own book with my own words and stories and everything, reading that this troll has a publisher and a NYT best seller I am thinking of joining John Holmes there under the tire of his car…