Snooki & Jionni LaValle Conceived Their Daughter While He Was Driving

Seen here posing for the obligatory “Ashley Madison? I don’t have no freakin’ Ashley Madison account” photo shoot, Snooki and her husband Jionni LaValle would like everyone to know that they, too, are dangerous fucking idiots behind the wheel. Us Weekly reports:

The former MTV star revealed that she and her husband, Jionni LaValle, actually conceived their daughter while he drove.
“Me and Jionni went out on a date in Hoboken and we were driving back and we started hooking up while he was driving,” Snooki, 27, said during an appearance on The Wendy Williams Show on Wednesday, Oct. 14.
The Jersey Shore alum didn’t stop there. “I just climbed on top of him,” she dished, leaving nothing to the imagination. “While [he was] driving on the highway.”
She added: “My period didn’t come and I got pregnant.”

While my initial reaction to this story is that there are kind, smart, considerate, non-death-on-wheels people out there having miscarriages or fertility issues, yet these two shitheads are successfully fucking out tiny little shithead copies of themselves on the highway because God is an asshole dick loaded with asshole sauce. I started to think about the logistics, and really, would Snooki’s head even reach past the steering wheel? Also, it’s kind of funny to imagine the poor asshole they by all rights should’ve crashed into.

“Hello? 911? A pantsless Ewok just flew through my windshield, and it’s squirting everywhere. — You’ll connect to me animal control? Perf- HEY! Not on the carpet!

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