Snooki: ‘My Fragrance Smells Like a Moistened Ewok, Open To Pleasure’

September 1st, 2011 // 48 Comments

Snooki was apparently on The Tonight Show Tuesday night, but because nobody watches it, it took two days for anyone to realize she went on television and said her new fragrance will smell like an Oompa Loompa constantly in heat. So like her, is exactly what she’s going to say. Via Us Magazine:

No word on what the final notes will be, but the ultra-bronzed star ensures that the perfume will be “flirty and bubbly, you know, like my personality, and obviously something DTF.”
But the well-known acronym threw Leno (and guest Jeff Bridges) off, and Snooki had to come to the rescue to explain.
“[It means] “down to fuck,” she said.

Mmm. Damp Ewok crotch musk… But I can’t help but feel this story is missing something. Perhaps an attempt at a scent even more representative of its creator. Ah, wait, here it is:

When rumors hit last month, fans of the Jersey Shore housemate began speculating if the juice would smell like her beloved snack, pickles. And being that Snooki, 23, is pretty much down for anything, she tried it out.
“[It] smelled like pickles and grass and it was just gross.”

“[It] smelled like my mouth and a couple people died during the testing phase and it was just gross,” is how that was supposed to read. Probably just a typo.

Photo: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Form over function

    Would leave load on those tits.

  2. Deacon Jones

    What fleeting thoughts do you think went through Oscar-winner Jeff Bridges head when this orange mound of flesh explained what “DTF” meant?

    • Frank Burns

      That he’d rather have a trio of rabid squirrels gnaw his nuts off than get “DTF” with a rancid talking pumpkin? There are some things that even The Dude can’t abide.

    • Signe Beergman

      He thought ” I’m up and outta here “

    • TheLando

      Seriously, the biggest crime here is that Jeff Bridges was made to be in the same room as Snooki. And not only that: Jay Leno was there AT THE SAME TIME!

      I think I’d seek to impale myself on a mic stand, wouldn’t you?

  3. Sherwood Schwartz

    I tell my kids that laziness and stupidity will not be rewarded in this life and then they confront me with this mess , so I have to amend my statement to “except in New Jersey and on MTV”

  4. Stuart Le Chiffere

    A perfume that smells like a longshoreman’s armpit after off loading boats for 8 hours ? Man , I’m gettin hot as I type

  5. Soupy

    Her nails look nice, French Tips, very classy. Perhaps, she’s changing her image.

  6. Billy Barty , Jr

    What cretin would get “down ” with this sub – species? What cretin would buy this smelly ‘elixir’ to rub on her body in hopes of what cretin would get down with her?
    Oh , Yeah , New Jersey is always the answer to any Snooki questions

  7. LJ

    1. Where are we where someone thinks that selling a fragrance that was designed by a hedgehog is marketing genius?
    2. Where are we that a fragrance designed by a hedgehog will be purchased and worn by thousands of young women?
    3. Am I really this hungover?

  8. welldoneson

    The A-10 Thunderbolt II is an American single-seat, twin-engine, straight-wing jet aircraft developed by Fairchild-Republic in the early 1970s. The A-10 is more commonly known by its nickname “Warthog” or simply “Hog”.

    • grobpilot

      Do you mean to say that Snooki could be hit by a dozen missles in one mission and survive to fuck another day? Impressive. I’ll bet her cooch is lined with titanium like the A-10 cockpit.

  9. forrest gump

    let me do it, please?
    VERY VERY GENTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Antonio Scuzziones

    MMMM , add Deena’s sexy “deep ass musk” , and you have a winner!

  11. Jane Brigoode

    The thought of this thing creating a perfume is repulsive beyond comprehension.

  12. zomgbie

    its nyc on a hot summer day during the garbage strike when the sewer backed up.

  13. karen

    ““flirty and bubbly, you know, like a fart in the bathtub”

  14. Steelerchick

    How dare they put the fat ewok on the same stage as “The Dude”

  15. Snooki Fragrance
    R
    Commented on this photo:

    Yuck.

  16. Idiots, Inc.

    You are all the reason she is famous. Fucking dolts.

  17. Satan

    She would look pretty decent if she wore khaki pants, a polo shirt. Trimmed her nails, become a paler color, and kept her hair down and straighten.

  18. I am proud to say that i never flapped off to her or let alone want a DTF with her.
    have fun guys she is all yours.

  19. Banastre Trent - Holmesworth

    I am getting nauseous at the thought of her chubby joycave and the attendant scent

  20. Stefanie

    Her new fragrance probably smells like a homeless man and Oscar the Grouch.

  21. What’s the name of her fragrance going to be? Money Shot? That works.

  22. 366-Marckes Polizzi

    Mostly, girl’s fragrance are really a major headache.

  23. What a retard

    The funniest thing about lowlife low class snooki & her explanation is seeing Jeff Bridges running out of the room, screaming “The Dude does NOT abide with that…”

  24. grobpilot

    Pure class, that one is.

  25. duh!

    Vagina raunch fragrance launching soon to a 99 cents store near you..

  26. Her name should be Ewooki not snooki.

  27. Snooki Fragrance
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    “I know. My eyes look weird now that they CGI’d my blinking.”

  28. Elf

    Why is she wearing those sunglasses? Doesn’t she know that George Lucas now have allowed Ewoks to have moving eye lids?

  29. Snooki Fragrance
    fuckyou
    Commented on this photo:

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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