It’s Snooki’s Engagement Ring

March 6th, 2012 // 33 Comments

Yesterday, we found out that Snooki is probably engaged on top of being pregnant with God knows who’s baby. So, of course, here she is suddenly walking around with a rock on her finger last night which means her Us Weekly cover is most likely going to drop tomorrow after they spent the past week pretending they don’t know she’s pregnant. On that note, supermarket cashiers should legally be allowed to sterilize anyone who buys an issue because they’re literally dropping four bucks to read about something that the most basic understanding of statistics dictates would eventually happen. “Well, she only had 500 cocks in her, not 700, so I better see what happened just in case-” TZZZZZZZ. “Ow, that was my uterus!”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. Maybe its a purity ring…..


  2. Snooki Engagement Ring Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    How the hell cans he carry a baby she has no torso!

  3. Frank Burns

    Somewhere the dismayed ghost of Tolkien is telling everyone, “Hey, I know she seems like a trailer park Hobbit and has a ring now, but don’t drag me into this!”

  4. mrsmass

    cubic zirconia

  5. alex

    That piece of trash deserves a $250,000 engagement ring. It makes perfect sense. Donate your time to charity, eat right, do unto others and you get a kick in the balls and a huge fucking tax bill to fund wars that you dont care about or insane welfare programs that dont achieve any of their stated goals…but suck a cock on “reality tv” and have a face like you got bashed by the ugly stick (Yes Jwow you) and you’re instantly a millionaire with a fucking NY Time best seller. Well fuck me in the ear and put a bullet in there when you’re done. The world has let us down again. God is dead.

  6. Bishop George

    She’s going to have seven kids from nine different fathers.

  7. dontkillthemessenger

    I can’t wait for her new MTV show named,

    NOT 16 and Pregnant… but just as hopeless and retarded.

  8. If we would just elect a Taliban president, we could do away with all of this shit that upsets us.

    However, not so good for the women and us men would have to grow beards, but again…no Snooki.

  9. “I am pro-chioce.”—-Snookie’s fetus.

  10. cc

    Coming soon, a tribute to motherhood by Anne Geddes featuring Snooki, her baby, and a pile of discarded shop rags.

  11. Dan

    I dunno… maybe it is the cynic in me, but I just don’t believe this story. Not a word of it. I think it is contrived for the show. A publicity stunt.

    I think on the show she is going to have a “miscarriage” and break up with her “fiancee” and then get wicked shit faced.

  12. Snooki Engagement Ring Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:


  13. El Jefe

    Call me old fashioned, but an engagement ring is just not impressive when you have to buy it for yourself.

  14. fireball

    She should donate IT to science. Seems like a project.

  15. who cares

    It’s WHOSE, not who’s. LOL

    • arnieblackblack

      Please donate your LOL to alex – I’m holding a LOL-athon for our LOL-free friend – Thanks… LOL!

  16. Ollie

    Hey Fish, at the top of each story next to the title, you should have your own personal like/dislike counter (not hooked into facebook! – just a plain old counter that shows how many people like or dislike each story).

    That way, you’d get a much better idea of what to most more stories on and spend your money buying photos for.

    Basically I want this feature so that everyone can dislike the snooki stories and you can stop writing about her. She takes up too much space on your otherwise awesome site!

    • Blech

      But then how else will Fish make the rest of us feel like we’re the most amazing people on earth?

      Don’t you see we NEED Snooki around here?

  17. So…why do you all hate this person? Did she personally poison your puppy? Did she steal millions, a la Madoff? Has she murdered anyone? Nope. Why the hate? Perhaps the vitriol is better directed at people who have actually harmed you, Politicians…bankers…actually criminals?

  18. Snooki Engagement Ring Pregnant
    girl dylan
    Commented on this photo:

    Only her engagement ring until they figure out how to get zebra stripes on diamonds, or she forgets it isn’t a vodka-flavoured ringpop and swallows it whole – whichever comes first.

  19. steve canyon

    she must know it by now:
    ……..D E L E T E!!

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