Our Forefathers Fought For This

July 5th, 2011 // 231 Comments

Yes, gentlemen, the rumors are true: You can get gay-married in New York! Huzzah!

Like a scene out of Block-Shaped Sluts 6, Snooki and Deena Cortese celebrated the Fourth of July weekend by getting so sloppy Cannoli-shit-hammered, Snooki had to be carried off the beach, again, while Deena raped innocent bystanders using nothing but brute force and strategic belly-flops. Later, she’d grow a big red beard and tell Frodo all about the Mines of Moria and how it’d be safe to travel through them.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    the Sea Beast pay tribute to the fire in the sky before heading back to the dark, dark depths of hell…

  2. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    Where am I??? Flacid Cove?

  3. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take the Blue Bikini for $1000 Alex….

  4. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  5. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Snook…Yuse no I pissed in dat bottle, right…

  6. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    DAMNIT LADY……Quit Blowin water outta your ass!

  7. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    OH?? you’re gonna fuck me too?? ummmmm…ok…whatever…just bring beer

  8. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    We’re too sexy for our fat, too sexy for our hat, too sexy….

  9. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    THAR SHE BLOWS!!

  10. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    HUH???

  11. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Guido
    Commented on this photo:

    Is anyone here a marine biologist?

  12. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    tibby
    Commented on this photo:

    awww… deena knows how to have fun!

  13. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    chris breezy boxing academy
    Commented on this photo:

    welcome to new jersey

  14. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Noel
    Commented on this photo:

    seriously…no f*cking way is that a woman.

  15. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Yooza!
    Commented on this photo:

    Bobby Moynihan doesn’t look too bad in drag.

  16. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Laughing at, not with
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking good, Billy Ray!
    Feeling good, Louis!

  17. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Laughing at, not with
    Commented on this photo:

    Two of you are going out there, only one will come back.

  18. mnsuperbee

    I though Bobby Moynihan only impersonated Snooki on SNL, he’s a better Deena I think…

  19. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    reformed_druid
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell happened to her diet?

  20. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Otterpop
    Commented on this photo:

    gez. just let them have a good time on the fourth.so many people drove drunk.got into car accidents. But they cant have a good time just cause they do nothing for money basically hahaha.oh well.

  21. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    BSting
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure this wasn’t a part of Coco Chanel’s vision.

  22. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    BSting
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently a BMI over 30 is required to enter onto Jersey’s beaches.

  23. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    moop
    Commented on this photo:

    “did you sleep with charlie the tuna last night or do you need to douche?”

  24. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    brooke
    Commented on this photo:

    the camo must be hiding her waist.

  25. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    still hit it
    Commented on this photo:

    this is why the normal people in nj buy pools

  26. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    GingleJanglez
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooooh, so thats one of those warlocks Sheen was yapping about this whole time.

  27. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Famous Plastic
    Commented on this photo:

    J-woww before all the lipo.

  28. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Famous Plastic
    Commented on this photo:

    You can actually see Snooki’s taint in this picture (you know, that spot between the balls and a-hole). Thanks alot Superfish.

  29. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Famous Plastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Coco Chanel is rolling over in her grave. Jesus. Talk about blasphemy.

  30. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    justsayin
    Commented on this photo:

    …ew…

  31. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    holy shit, even the sand on the beach is giving up. The weight of her and her herpes is just too much!

  32. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    what the fuckity fuck is that?

  33. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    i hope that dude is wearing a neck condom or something

  34. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    This washed up tara reid look alike is freaking me the fuck out

  35. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    cutthecrap
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, could this dude be any gayer with his cheetah print highlights and his wristlet?

  36. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    AHJS
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes dean Wormer Fat, Drunk and Stupid is a way to go through life.

  37. There’s no way that isn’t Kurt Russell.

  38. Lorne

    It is Diamond Dave!

  39. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    *vomits on keyboard*

  40. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Commented on this photo:

    These people are the epitome of classless. Ugh.

  41. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Megan
    Commented on this photo:

    Omg that comment also made me pee my pants, your so totally right about that!! LMFAO

  42. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Man
    Commented on this photo:

    I like how she can’t buy a bikini that actually fits those big ass titties of hers.

  43. a person

    WAIT, those 2 are girls!? :O

  44. BJ

    It sort of sucks that Bobby Moynihan already established himself as Snooki… Honestly, I’m starting to think that Bobby is just putting a wig on everyday so he can get double what he’s making over at SNL.

  45. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    lalala
    Commented on this photo:

    look at that hot body, those brown rolls flubbering about, and that pancake ass complete with cottage cheese…yumm

  46. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    poop
    Commented on this photo:

    her body looks like peeps after u put them in the microwave

  47. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    poop
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like a deflated pool

  48. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    pde
    Commented on this photo:

    she doesn’t have a good tooth to gum ratio goin on

  49. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    pde
    Commented on this photo:

    this must be the photoshoot for lane bryants swim catalog

  50. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    mike hunt
    Commented on this photo:

    id rack

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