Our Forefathers Fought For This

July 5th, 2011 // 231 Comments

Yes, gentlemen, the rumors are true: You can get gay-married in New York! Huzzah!

Like a scene out of Block-Shaped Sluts 6, Snooki and Deena Cortese celebrated the Fourth of July weekend by getting so sloppy Cannoli-shit-hammered, Snooki had to be carried off the beach, again, while Deena raped innocent bystanders using nothing but brute force and strategic belly-flops. Later, she’d grow a big red beard and tell Frodo all about the Mines of Moria and how it’d be safe to travel through them.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see him do that with a Kardashian.

  2. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    elle
    Commented on this photo:

    These pictures are HILARIOUS!!!

  3. McPedro Gonzales

    No MY fathers, pendejo!! I juss get here from Mejico!!

    and ghey

  4. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    They said we shouldn’t have buried Osama bin Laden at sea when it was still radioactive from the Fukushima nuclear power plant disaster. They were right all along…

  5. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    RELEASE THE KRAKEN.

  6. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently, Snooki has three arms. Two to wave in the air while she’s pretend-humping some chick, and a third to hold her drink.

  7. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    a real scientist.
    Commented on this photo:

    beached whale.

  8. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like the stability of our civilization is being held together by a single, highly tensioned bikini strap.

  9. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Always make sure you’re miked before you enter the water.

  10. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, those teeth just complete the ensemble.

  11. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    And once again, medical waste washes up on the shores of New Jersey.

  12. rough was not in Malibu over the weekend

    Which dam in Jersey these two otters were trying to break?

  13. welldoneson

    The A-10 was designed to provide close air support (CAS) for ground forces by attacking tanks, armored vehicles, and other ground targets with a limited air interdiction capability. It is designed exclusively for close air support.

  14. AC

    i didn’t know they had trannys on that show

  15. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    That blonde chicks pinky in this photo is SO FREAKIN SCARY!!!

  16. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    BG
    Commented on this photo:

    Fat, ugly, slut at the beach. This “woman” is aged beyond her years. No grace, no character, no mystery, no qualities that will get her more than 10 minutes of a guy’s attention to get in and get out ASAP. Just in your face skankiness.

    • gluten

      it’s a typical-looking fat, old Italian… man.
      and this is the very reason why people have private pools in their backyards. you know, with fences and shit. and usually a shed. with a lock. so you don;t have to look at it if you don’t want to.

  17. the captain

    ………..is it perhaps a LOSER’S COUNTRY?

  18. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Suz
    Commented on this photo:

    Can someone teach this bitch how to do coke? Sloppy is soooo lame.

  19. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    area man
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, this isn’t two gay guys celebrating civil rights?

  20. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Do the stars come in brown? Pink just isn’t appropriate here.

  21. JUSTIN

    A wild snorlax appeared

    P.S- Happy about the gay marriage thing passing, if losers like this can get married, so should gay people

  22. Snooki Lover

    Merci!

    (As in, “thanks!” and not “have mercy!”)

  23. Return of a BLACKDUDE

    what the hell are Artie Lang and Danny Devito doing to each other??

  24. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Nano
    Commented on this photo:

    Look how smart he is, keeping his hands clear of the Pit of Carkoon…

  25. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    milkcerealbaby
    Commented on this photo:

    These people need to get lost right now. Vinnie is out…hope the rest fade just as quickly.

  26. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    milkcerealbaby
    Commented on this photo:

    NO TALENT SKUNKS!

  27. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the repost from Conon O’Brien’s HornyManatee.com site?

  28. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Not cool.
    Commented on this photo:

    One of these days these attention whores will die of alcohol poisoning.

  29. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    gluten
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m a bit drunk. i’m going to have to come back whiile sober because i’m not sure if this is real or not. cat, stay out of the pizza box!

  30. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    justuhbill
    Commented on this photo:

    She would need a shitload more camo to cover all that up…

  31. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    justuhbill
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately, that’s not the smell of dead fish on the beach…

  32. kcdilla

    I just threw up in my mouth a little

  33. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s looking obesity in the eye.

  34. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    Deenas fatter.

  35. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    Please let it be tomorrow……

  36. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    It would’ve been a much better pic, if they would’ve just laid her on her face, and dragged her by her feet….

  37. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you feel the rolls baby??? I heated’m up just for you…

  38. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    First competition…the Snooki, followed by the Wookie….

  39. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Deena, in an odd moment of clarity, requests someone “Get it offa” her.

  40. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    Gonzo…hahahahha I love it!

  41. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    Look Out KID!!! Fat Ugly Tits a cummin thru!

  42. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    You can tell by his face he’s really interested in her personality

  43. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish I could spell GODZILLA Roar!!

  44. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Look Ma! No ass!!!

  45. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody wave a greasy sausage?

  46. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    BEWARE the dark hole…..

  47. Deena Cortese Bikini Jersey Shore
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    Electronics + Seawater = A REALLY good show!

  48. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like that movie The Bodyguard. But in the snow, and a race reversal. Except he is trying to get rid of her, and without talent. You know what, nevermind…

  49. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    (but*not in the snow)

  50. Jersey Shore Snooki Drunk
    bassackwards
    Commented on this photo:

    awwwwwwwwww…a Channel Belly Lint Collector……

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