Snooki Doing Yoga

“We thought training the Ewoks in Eastern fighting styles might give us a tactical advantage ove Al Qaeda. Consequently, we ran into issues when their pickle rations dried up in the desert. The resulting mutiny was not… pleasant. On a quiet day, I can still smell singed fur and, provided the wind’s just right, Slim Jims. Extra spicy.”

- General David Petraeus, ISAF Commander speaking to U.N. Security Council.

Photos: Splash News