Snooki Doesn’t Want To Be Called Snooki

January 12th, 2011 // 86 Comments

Paving the way for her to finally be called, “Shitty Wicket,” Snooki is reportedly tired of her famous nickname and wants to go back to whatever the hell her real name is. Snooktopher? Via the AP:

The reality TV star says the moniker that helped make her famous has gotten a little old and she misses her name.
“I miss my real name. I miss people calling me Nicole,” she said.

God, today’s celebrity are lazy. George Reeves was tired of being associated with Superman, but instead of bitching about it, he found a creative solution to his problem using hard work and good old-fashioned Chutzpah. Shit, even Mikey from Life cereal had the integrity to mix Pop Rocks and Coke. Be creative.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Ksurfiws


  2. Laura

    awwww, Snooki want smoosh smoosh…

  3. Poison Ivy League

    I think we could do a compromise for her name. “Nicole Dickhole” would roll off the tongue nicely.

  4. I thought her real name was Cum Bucket?

  5. Marley

    Holy Christ, look at that fat fat face. Dear Lord.

  6. youcandieNOW

    That’s a nickname? I thought it was the name of her species. I swear if I ever saw that thing running out of the woods calling out “smoosh, smoosh” I’d assume it was in heat and shoot it before it ran out in front of any cars and caused an accident.

  7. If she thinks she’s tired of being called “Snookie”, she’s really going to hate “hey oompa loompa, roll your fat orange ass out of my bar”

  8. xanax in my beer

    Chief Chirpa

  9. hmna

    Even though the cover of the book only shows the top half of Snooki’s head, the cover still looks like Snooki weighed about 50 lb less when the painting was done.

    Look at the difference in curvature in the cheeks – it’s there, people!

    • monster

      hah, that is so true.

      although I reallllly doubt she actually weighed 50lb less. I mean, the camera adds 10lb anyway, so photoshop must have taken off loads ^^

  10. jumpin_j

    I’d say put a fork in her, she’s done, but I don’t think it would penetrate her.

  11. Deve


  12. Greg

    How about calling her Rosanne Barr Junior

  13. GravyLeg

    If I was her, I would be more concerned about the fact that someone at the morgue will be calling her Jane Doe a decade from now.

    • You sonofabitch, I’m gonna be seeing this comment again on “The Most Important People on the Internet” this Sunday, aren’t I?

    • GravyLeg

      I hope so… I hope to snark myself to a “Most Important People on the Internet” record in 2011…. Incidentally, I hope to Smurf myself to a record too… COMPLETELY different record tho… Let’s just say James Cameron would be proud.

  14. DLR

    Sorry, but once a Snooki, always a Snooki. You can’t just have surgery to remove the the Smoosh Smoosh parts…

  15. GravyLeg

    That also explains why Letterman has a new couch on the show.

  16. I think a paramedic should name her. D.O.A.

  17. Cash

    Uh, fish? George Reeves never escaped the shadow of Superman. He worked his ass off trying to make a new career and distinguish himself from his red and blue tights days, but it all ended in failure and suicide.

  18. Manny

    It’s either Snooki or Oompa Loompa.

  19. I vote for “Trinklet”. Tiny, brown, won’t go away…you get the idea.

  20. poopsmith

    that bitch will forever be snooki until time is no longer time and she better fucking get used to it

  21. tgs

    jesus christ, she looks like rosanne barrs doppleganger

  22. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    Being a celebrity is so hard. People insist on calling you by the carefully marketed nickname you practically begged them to use.

  23. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    roseanne? all she needs is to scream the national anthem and spit on a baseball field.

  24. I think this is must be in response to the current popular use of the term, i.e. “I swear that homeless dude smells like he snookied his pants.” or ” When you see it, you will snookie a brick.”

  25. Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she turning into JWOWW?

  26. David

    I call her snickers because you are what you eat.

  27. Snooki
    Wade Sheeler
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, George Reeves did find a creative way to deal with always being called Superman. He killed himself. Perhaps Snooki, I’m sorry, NICOLE, could…um…

  28. CookieWookie?

    But Snookie the Wookie just sings….

  29. Herman the Kid

    And so it shall be written. . . I refuse to call her anything but “Shitty Wicket” for the rest of her life.

    Too bad she’ll drink herself to death in the next year.

    • Andriiya

      There you have it folks, the definition of an optimist.

      What she needs to do is sign a deal with some liquor company, agreeing to drink only their booze until she dies. It would be the best advertising campaign ever.

  30. How about Roseanne?

    She’s already halfway morphed into the heifer…….


  31. tits

    what about Snherpi?

  32. akewlazzmom

    Khloe Lardassian and Lamar Odoms love child.
    So, she’s going by Furbie again?

  33. Ewoks are more fuckable

    In Jersey, I believe they would call her “an 8.”

  34. vandal

    Are we supposed to believe that this fat cunt wrote the book? Do one.

  35. Q

    and BAM! she aged a couple of decades.. 0.o

  36. Gene

    Nicole is not a good dwarf name. Especially a dwarf with a permanent Jersey Shore patented fish face.

    Snooki on the other hand is a GREAT Dwarf name. Like it’s owner, it is frivolous, shallow, easy to pronounce by the illiterati who follow this ‘Star’…and will be ultimately forgettable once the next 50 pounds put her in a category such that even this place will no longer be posting her moronic blatherings.

  37. argleblargle

    Well if she wanted to be called her real name more often, maybe she should have had her real name printed bigger than her nickname on this “book” she sharted out.

  38. akewlazzmom

    Baby Ewok

  39. lightdragon

    Well nobody wants to be called Snooki and whatever name she will call herself .

  40. noreasonforthis

    and we shall name her “nicole the hole” and we’ll love her, and hold her, and call her our own…

  41. flipnglib

    She looks like an uglier Rosanne Barr.

  42. Tonee

    Don’t worry, by next year at this time no one will be calling her anything.

  43. Funeral Guy

    How ’bout Skanky Slut Butterball Goomba?

  44. GravyLeg

    She needs to look in the mirror. She’s lucky she is referred to by anything more than a guttural utterance…

  45. welldoneson

    She doesn’t want to be called Snooki, so she splashes that name in huge type on the cover of her book? Ok. Sure. Tell you what, Snooki, figure out what I would rather call you by reading the following clue (from Wikipedia):

    The A-10 was designed to provide close air support (CAS) for ground forces by attacking tanks, armored vehicles, and other ground targets with a limited air interdiction capability. It is designed exclusively for close air support.

  46. Cardinal Fang

    Please call her “Futura Tubbashit Whore”.

  47. How

    Its beyond me that anyone would want to watch this cow do anything but shit in a field…

  48. Yowsers

    So Roseanne got surgery then?

  49. American Meatgoat

    Isn’t she really a middle-aged Chilean broad? I dub her La Chupacabra Borracha. Yeah, that’s probably not proper Español, but I only know two languages, English and bad English.

  50. puddleduck

    If I say beetlejuice three times will it make it go away?

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