Paving the way for her to finally be called, “Shitty Wicket,” Snooki is reportedly tired of her famous nickname and wants to go back to whatever the hell her real name is. Snooktopher? Via the AP:
The reality TV star says the moniker that helped make her famous has gotten a little old and she misses her name.
“I miss my real name. I miss people calling me Nicole,” she said.
God, today’s celebrity are lazy. George Reeves was tired of being associated with Superman, but instead of bitching about it, he found a creative solution to his problem using hard work and good old-fashioned Chutzpah. Shit, even Mikey from Life cereal had the integrity to mix Pop Rocks and Coke. Be creative.
Photos: Splash News
ugly
awwww, Snooki want smoosh smoosh…
LOL….where pretty man go?
I think we could do a compromise for her name. “Nicole Dickhole” would roll off the tongue nicely.
I love it. Definitely a cousin of Bob Loblaw.
Hahaha, I love Bob Loblaw!
I thought her real name was Cum Bucket?
her her full legal name is actually Shitstain McHerpes
Ha!
Holy Christ, look at that fat fat face. Dear Lord.
That’s a nickname? I thought it was the name of her species. I swear if I ever saw that thing running out of the woods calling out “smoosh, smoosh” I’d assume it was in heat and shoot it before it ran out in front of any cars and caused an accident.
If she thinks she’s tired of being called “Snookie”, she’s really going to hate “hey oompa loompa, roll your fat orange ass out of my bar”
I was gonna say Rosanne Barr reincarnated, but Oompa Loompa is accurate.
Maybe a combo of the two.
More like Roseanne Barfly.
Chief Chirpa
Even though the cover of the book only shows the top half of Snooki’s head, the cover still looks like Snooki weighed about 50 lb less when the painting was done.
Look at the difference in curvature in the cheeks – it’s there, people!
hah, that is so true.
although I reallllly doubt she actually weighed 50lb less. I mean, the camera adds 10lb anyway, so photoshop must have taken off loads ^^
I’d say put a fork in her, she’s done, but I don’t think it would penetrate her.
It might, if you slathered it in hair gel and called it gorilla!
I’ve caught pieces of the show… Anything can “penetrate” those hoes.
…snookalupagus?
How about calling her Rosanne Barr Junior
I was thinking the same thing! That first photo is scary…
If I was her, I would be more concerned about the fact that someone at the morgue will be calling her Jane Doe a decade from now.
You sonofabitch, I’m gonna be seeing this comment again on “The Most Important People on the Internet” this Sunday, aren’t I?
Oh no you ain’t…you are going to see it on “The Most Important People on the Internet” this Saturday.
Oh yes I is. As much as I love that feature and GL’s posts, I’m gonna be busy on Saturday. :P
I hope so… I hope to snark myself to a “Most Important People on the Internet” record in 2011…. Incidentally, I hope to Smurf myself to a record too… COMPLETELY different record tho… Let’s just say James Cameron would be proud.
Sorry, but once a Snooki, always a Snooki. You can’t just have surgery to remove the the Smoosh Smoosh parts…
That also explains why Letterman has a new couch on the show.
I think a paramedic should name her. D.O.A.
Uh, fish? George Reeves never escaped the shadow of Superman. He worked his ass off trying to make a new career and distinguish himself from his red and blue tights days, but it all ended in failure and suicide.
That WAS the joke Cash… Mikey dead of “Pop Rocks + Coke” explosion and George Reeves dead of suicide. You see… Fish is suggesting Snookie might want to do the same…. Ahhhhh, humor…
How does one person know the context, and yet miss the joke so completely. I don’t get it. I should punch you.
Seriously, McFeely, you’d punch someone whose brain is on life support? Cold, brother.
It’s either Snooki or Oompa Loompa.
I vote for “Trinklet”. Tiny, brown, won’t go away…you get the idea.
that bitch will forever be snooki until time is no longer time and she better fucking get used to it
jesus christ, she looks like rosanne barrs doppleganger
Being a celebrity is so hard. People insist on calling you by the carefully marketed nickname you practically begged them to use.
roseanne? all she needs is to scream the national anthem and spit on a baseball field.
I think this is must be in response to the current popular use of the term, i.e. “I swear that homeless dude smells like he snookied his pants.” or ” When you see it, you will snookie a brick.”
Is she turning into JWOWW?
I call her snickers because you are what you eat.
In that case, it should be Pickles McSnickerDoodle. It covers at least of her three favorite food groups.
Actually, George Reeves did find a creative way to deal with always being called Superman. He killed himself. Perhaps Snooki, I’m sorry, NICOLE, could…um…
But Snookie the Wookie just sings….
Snoobacca
And so it shall be written. . . I refuse to call her anything but “Shitty Wicket” for the rest of her life.
Too bad she’ll drink herself to death in the next year.
There you have it folks, the definition of an optimist.
What she needs to do is sign a deal with some liquor company, agreeing to drink only their booze until she dies. It would be the best advertising campaign ever.
How about Roseanne?
She’s already halfway morphed into the heifer…….
.
what about Snherpi?
Khloe Lardassian and Lamar Odoms love child.
So, she’s going by Furbie again?
In Jersey, I believe they would call her “an 8.”
hahaha
Are we supposed to believe that this fat cunt wrote the book? Do one.
and BAM! she aged a couple of decades.. 0.o
Nicole is not a good dwarf name. Especially a dwarf with a permanent Jersey Shore patented fish face.
Snooki on the other hand is a GREAT Dwarf name. Like it’s owner, it is frivolous, shallow, easy to pronounce by the illiterati who follow this ‘Star’…and will be ultimately forgettable once the next 50 pounds put her in a category such that even this place will no longer be posting her moronic blatherings.
Well if she wanted to be called her real name more often, maybe she should have had her real name printed bigger than her nickname on this “book” she sharted out.
Baby Ewok
Well nobody wants to be called Snooki and whatever name she will call herself .
and we shall name her “nicole the hole” and we’ll love her, and hold her, and call her our own…
She looks like an uglier Rosanne Barr.
Don’t worry, by next year at this time no one will be calling her anything.
How ’bout Skanky Slut Butterball Goomba?
I like where you are going here.
Nice as long as you don’t insult her.
She needs to look in the mirror. She’s lucky she is referred to by anything more than a guttural utterance…
Yep, feast on Taco Bell and then whisper her name…. into her face.
She doesn’t want to be called Snooki, so she splashes that name in huge type on the cover of her book? Ok. Sure. Tell you what, Snooki, figure out what I would rather call you by reading the following clue (from Wikipedia):
The A-10 was designed to provide close air support (CAS) for ground forces by attacking tanks, armored vehicles, and other ground targets with a limited air interdiction capability. It is designed exclusively for close air support.
Please call her “Futura Tubbashit Whore”.
Its beyond me that anyone would want to watch this cow do anything but shit in a field…
So Roseanne got surgery then?
Isn’t she really a middle-aged Chilean broad? I dub her La Chupacabra Borracha. Yeah, that’s probably not proper Español, but I only know two languages, English and bad English.
If I say beetlejuice three times will it make it go away?