Snooki’s in a Swimsuit Again

March 21st, 2011 // 131 Comments

Snooki seems to have spent all last week taking a vacation from her arduous life of being filmed on vacation because here she is in Hawaii after exposing Vegas to her eight-foot long ass-crack. Which is actually impressive for a person small enough to qualify as a carry-on.

“She’s more ass-crack now than woman, twisted and evil…”

Photos: Flynet


  1. Bucky Barnes

    Nice if she actually swims, as opposed to just posing on the beach. She could catch enough fish in that ass crack to end world hunger, although I understand crack fish has a peculiar flavor… Planning to stick with turf, myself.

  2. MarkM

    Why God, Why?!?

  3. Charles Sheen

    fucking disgusting

  4. Neen

    She thinks she’s people!

  5. Suddenly that song “Buffalo Gals” makes perfect sense to me.

  6. Deacon Jones

    That purple smock looks like it’s trying to run for it’s life.

  7. JC

    I always wondered what it would look like if you put breast implants on a basketball.

  8. HLM

    Really?!? What the fuck did I do to you that you had to assault my eyes on a Monday morning with this??

  9. adolf hitler

    oh shit, oswald cobblepot!

  10. Wanna’ know something crazy? Somebody took this picture because somebody PAID for this picture. Nuts, huh?

  11. Dufresne

    What a mess.

  12. the saturation

    Nice tits!

  13. kj

    Why do you hate us? Do you realize that it’s like the first day of spring and it’s snowing where I am? And now this? Why do you hate us?

  14. adolf hitler

    yummy. just tasted my breakfast again.

  15. I disagree with the headline. She’s not really, technically, per se completely _in_ that swimsuit… much to my chagrin. In fact there are horrible, horrible parts that are definitely _out_ of that swimsuit.

  16. Will you please stop this?

  17. Muammar Gaddafi's Smoking Corpse

    Ugh. It’s like 50 lbs. of canned ham stuffed into a bread loaf bag. I’M OUT!!!

  18. Snooki Bikini
    Honest Abe
    Commented on this photo:

    #1, she should get a medal for putting so much effort into keeping her cover-up on.

    #2, I’m currently banging worse…

  19. Sp

    In the previous post you mention there might be naked pictures of Natalie portman somewhere and instead of looking for those you post this burnt Twinkie in a swimsuit. So much for journalistic integrity.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Give Fish a break, it’s Monday. It’s hard to get started on Monday, after a weekend of leisurely reviewing news of celebrity idiocy and fashion faux pax.
      I am sure he will eventually have enough coffee and brandy to hit his stride and look for those Natalie Portmann nudes.

  20. Unimate

    Shouldn’t you have to actually do work before you’re allowed to be “on vacation”?

    • The Critical Crassness

      Getting that body into a skimpy bathing suit is probably more work than most of the readers of this blog have done so far this year. After all it is hard to find enough grease and a big enough shoehorn to facilitate forcing all that flesh and fat into that small an opening.

  21. If Sacha Baron Cohen keeps doing this Borat in a Mankini thing I’m not going to find anything he does funny anymore.

  22. Who the fuck wrapped a dead seal in a bathing suit?

  23. Why does she always look like she’s been captured in the act of stumbling. She has the poise and grace of Stephen Hawkings.

    • also: “Which is actually impressive for a person small enough to qualify as a carry-on”

      no way is that ass going to fit in that “your carry-on must fit in this box” thing…if you stuffed her in an overhead compartment, there’d be parts of her spilling out all the seams…much like this swimsuit.

  24. Note to women everywhere: Just because your bikini has a panel in front, forcing your gut to spill out the sides, it is not technically slimming.

  25. timmy the dying boy

    The answer to the question is “Yes, those stripes do make her look fat.” But what doesn’t?

  26. sunshine

    Fish, and all of you previous posters, thank you for making me laugh my head off. I needed to find my smile again, so, all of you, pat yourselves on the back, your humor and wit made my day. And ya, you know if I’m taking the time to thank all you, it has been quite a week.

  27. woppy dago

    I’d give that a wet n’ wild rimjob yieeeah boyeee

  28. GrandDragon

    Whenever I see her, I think of those gas station wieners that have been cooking on those metal rollers all week. Burned, greasy, and busting out of their casing.

  29. Slick Grace

    She’s not so bad. I like her fleshy boobies.

    • woodsworth

      Hellz yeah…bet they’re fun to watch when plowing away at that wide load! I’d spackle ‘em good too!

  30. Steve

    I love how she’s convinced she’s hot stuff, despite the obvious evidence to the contrary. It’s so…American.

    • woodsworth

      Yeah, well madonna is the same damned way and she’s british…so FUCK off, EUROTRASH BEEATCH!!!

      • The Critical Crassness

        Woodsworth, Madonna was born and raised in Michigan. She just puts on airs pretending she is British. Please. fact check before trying to put down someone by making a nationality based comment. You just end up looking stupid!

      • hmna

        Madonna is British by way of Michigan.

      • woodsworth

        hmna gets it. TCC: it was a joke, dumbshit…EVERYONE KNOWS THAT

      • rican

        Critical fail

      • Fletch

        Might as well throw Gwyneth Paltrow in there also. She’s too good for Americans. And please don’t feed her children cup-a-soup because she said that she would rather die first. On second thought, somebody please get some cup-a-soup.

  31. sean

    I envy Stevie Wonder right about now!

    • The Critical Crassness

      Stare at any of these pictures of Snooki long enough and you can join him in the world of the blind.

  32. The Critical Crassness

    Fish, is the headline a coded message reading, “Snooki’s wearing the sail off someone’s boat again!” ?
    I lost some pages out of my “Superficial Headlines Translation Guide”.

  33. Hemingway

    Is…is that a penis?

  34. Bill Clinton's alter ego

    It’s an assault on heterosexual men everywhere

  35. Snooki Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    ew, shes too ugly to be this fat.

  36. AlexK

    That girl is 10 pounds of crisco stuffed into a 5 pound sack.

  37. The absence of tan lines tells me that people of the tri-state area may want to avoid tanning beds for a while. Forget the skin cancer… This could be the beginning of a Snooki-Herp epidemic. *shudder

  38. Jane

    Given the amount of skank photos today, one can only presume Fish is trying to blind himself after reading that Kelly Brook is knocked up.

  39. slappy magoo

    Ned Beatty in Deliverance looked more alluring than whatever the hell that is.

  40. GeneralEmergency

    Clearly, the continuing miracle of Science at work here.

    This is most definitely the result of a genetic blending between a Playskool Weeble and a fetid pork loin.

  41. Oh yeah baby

    I’d fuck that oompa loompa till purple bubble gum came flying out her ears.

  42. Inmate 12236969

    We here at D-Block said we would tap it but some of us haven’t had a real shot of leg in twenty years.

  43. rican

    It’s Porky Pig with a Tanorama Jersey Tan.

  44. Captain Dick

    she better watch out when swimming, the Japneese might harpoon that whale.

  45. Snooki Bikini
    He who knows
    Commented on this photo:

    That fat ass is begging to get nailed

  46. Mr Obvious

    This is not winning.

  47. Snooki Bikini
    Tim B
    Commented on this photo:

    Shes so hot ill fuck the shit out of her

  48. Snooki Bikini
    Tim B
    Commented on this photo:

    ill fuck the shit out of her

  49. Snooki Bikini
    Tim B
    Commented on this photo:


  50. DS

    She has lots of nice skin.

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