Why No One On ‘Jersey Shore’ Should Even Look At A Baby, Let Alone Shart One Out Their Ewok Hole

March 15th, 2012 // 14 Comments

Via E! News:

Vinny joked that he wants to turn the house’s “smush room” into a baby room for Snooki and Jionni’s future child.

VINNY: ‘Ey, yo, Snook. Remember dat room I got da crabs in? We put a crib in it! OOOOOOOOOOH.
SNOOKI: Aw, for real, you guys? That’s so sweet. — We can still fuck in it though, right?
VINNY: Oh, yeah, totally. Why do you think I made dis little blindfold for da bambino, eh?
SNOOKI: That’s a plastic bag.
VINNY: Tomayta, tomahta…

Photos: Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News


  1. Snooki Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Snooki being pregos, shoot she will still look the same little fat drinking, whore, elf…. Shame who is the daddy!!!

  2. JC

    On the plus side, Children’s Services will have round-the-clock video as evidence when they remove the child from her custody.

  3. Vinnie Balls

    No one else heard that Snooki’s due date is Doomsday? Dec. 21st?

  4. Snooki Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she reeks of armpits and broken dreams…

  5. Whatever crawls out of her womb isn’t going to be able to be killed with conventional OR biological weapons.

  6. Dick Smokehand

    Will it be Cthulhu?

  7. Snooki Cleavage
    Mrs. Salt
    Commented on this photo:

    The snooki ate your baby!

  8. Great White Pygmy

    Again let me defend the natives of the forest moon.
    Ewoks- cute and cuddly with a fierceness to defend their home.
    Snookie- False colored mess with a fierceness for alcohol.
    She is closer to the Leprechaun then to the Ewoks.
    (and Kudos to the fine acting talent of Mr. Davis!)

  9. Schmidtler

    Snooki being pregnant ruins my theory of the built in failsafe properties of alcohol. My theory had been that while you become more likely to exercise poor judgment and bang increasingly nasty looking bitches the more you drink, at least at a certain point you become so drunk your bitch impregnating parts stop functioning – thusly precluding the inadvertent knocking up of the nastiest of bitches. I guess now I have to give up alcohol altogether, and switch to Mexican cough syrup.

  10. cc

    People, I am not going to let this farce go on any longer. She is NOT having a baby. She has the biggest fucking bezoar in the history of medical science.

  11. Snooki Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    is it a cardboard cutout or JWoww is now entirely made of plastic?

  12. Snooki Cleavage
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Baby Dolphin Teeth.

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